


A Song For Cordelia

by MelissaMotown



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-23
Updated: 2013-07-21
Packaged: 2017-12-12 18:09:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 88,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/814481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelissaMotown/pseuds/MelissaMotown
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt never called Blaine after the break up, despite Isabelle's advice. It was not out of spite, or because he didn't believe she was right, but because his heart didn't know how to forgive. Five years later, when their paths cross once more, Kurt and Blaine decides to be friends again - just friends. But where the heart goes, the man follows…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What new dreams are made of

**Author's Note:**

> Now I'm finally back with my next story as promised.
> 
> This is a story about love, forgiveness and second chances.
> 
> Isabelle gave Kurt the best advice I know when it come to matters of the heart. She said: Sometimes you have to forgive in order to move on.
> 
> In canon Kurt followed her advice, but the idea for this story focus on what could have happened if Kurt hadn't called Blaine and reached out for him eventually.
> 
> I follow canon until the break up, but all interaction between Kurt and Blaine - after the flowers delivered at Vogue - didn't happen.
> 
> I hope you will enjoy the story and please tell me what you think along the way. I will post every Sunday and Wednesday. There will be 16 chapters all in all,
> 
> and I will write at least two more stories connected to this one.
> 
> I have two amazing beta readers for this story: Christinarn13 and lsklainegleek. I trust them with all my fanfiction heart and their encouragement and
> 
> suggestions help me keep on writing. Thank you ladies, from the bottom of my heart ;-)

Kurt hated rain.

Snow was romantic, and stormy weather was dramatic, but rain was just making him gloomy and it ruined his hair.

He jumped through pools of water and raised the collar of his black leather coat under the umbrella. The heavy rain covered the big city in a wet, damp cloud. He sighed and tucked his bag further up on the shoulder to prevent it from becoming wet as well, but the distance he had to walk was too far to hope it wouldn't happen.

Upper East Manhattan was busy and crowded as ever at this hour of the day; everybody in a hurry to be somewhere, or nowhere, stepping on each other's toes. Every Starbucks and decent coffee shop was filled to the breaking point with New Yorkers craving caffeine before a long day of work would engulf them completely.

Kurt wasn't any different, and even if the lines were endless, at least getting coffee was providing him shelter for a while.

One of the biggest benefits to being your own boss was granting yourself permission to be late for work. One drawback was the lines between work and free time becoming more blurred, though most of the time it didn't bother him that much. There was something liberating about working when the ideas emerged, and relaxing when everybody else was busy. As long as his day had some sort of schedule and his thoughts weren't too unorganized, it was fine.

The dampness followed him into the subway to Bushwick. Wet coats, and dripping umbrellas contributed to the moistness in the air, and the smell of wet wool got stuck in his nose.

Yes, he definitely hated rain.

He could have ordered a cab of course, but it just seemed so extravagant when he was used to the trip to Bushwick by train, and he'd rather spend his hard earned money on clothes anyway. That much hadn't changed over the years, and Kurt couldn't imagine it ever would.

By the time he reached the loft on Willoughby Avenue from the subway station, his bag and the lower part of his satin beige pants were stained with rain and dirt. It would require a miracle of his dry cleaner to save them, but he had done it before. Every time Kurt entered the store with big, begging eyes, Mr. Saunders would assure him that he could do miracles. Good dry cleaners don't come around that easily and Kurt was one of Mr. Saunders most faithful clients.

He entered the building that had been his home for four years, and shook his umbrella free of water. When Rachel had moved in with Marc, and Santana had rented an apartment a lot closer to the dance studio in the Bronx where she was teaching, it hadn't made sense to keep the big loft with him living there alone. He eventually found a smaller apartment just a few blocks away, and now the loft was remodeled to work as an office and a guest-apartment, available when friends and families were coming to New York to visit. His dad paid half the rent so he could stay there with Carol once in awhile, and Finn had used it on several occasions as well.

Four years in NYADA with great performing grades, hadn't given Kurt access to the roles he had dreamed about playing since he was a boy. But, it was not only because of the fierce competition – it was him; him as a person, his voice, and his features. No matter how many times his friends and family tried to contradict him, and encourage him, he just knew it was the truth. His voice didn't shine in the classical male parts and nobody dared take a chance with a man singing women's songs.

Broadway simply didn't know what to do with him.

It was not an issue that should have taken him by surprise; it was the story of his life after all. But never giving up was another part of that story, and a part he lived to the fullest right now.

If he didn't fit in the traditional plays, he would have to write something that did fit him, perfectly.

Kurt had finally reached the top of the stairs. The elevator had a mind of its own these days, which left the stairs to be a much safer way to go up. A black sign with beautiful silver letters saying "By Blackbird" was now attached outside the sliding door to the loft. Kurt smiled at the sight of it, as he did every day, before he opened the door. It was the name of his company and represented new dreams.

Ally, having arrived early for a change, was balancing on top of an office chair on wheels as she tried to pin a drawing of a new costume on top of a huge board. Her long red hair was loosely held together by a big artificial pink flower and due to the stretch for the right spot to put her drawing, her orange dress was revealing a pair of woolen black stockings with small pink butterflies imprinted on the fabric.

"Are you trying to kill yourself, Ally?" Kurt asked horrified and strode to her rescue, making sure the chair wouldn't disappear underneath her feet.

"God no!" she giggled as he grabbed her by the waist and helped her down on solid ground again. "That would be such a waste of talent, don't you think?" She blew a lock of her flaming hair away from her eyes and beamed at him with cheeks all pink.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Yes, it was absolutely your talent I was worried about, and not you as a person, or as my friend, stupid girl."

She hummed and looked at the big board pinned with more than 50 drawings. They represented months of hard work, and the gowns and dresses told a story by themselves.

Kurt went to his side of the office, the one with the neat cleaned desk and the pencils organized after use. He unpacked his laptop and got wired up for the day. "You're here early," he stated and went straight for new incoming emails with a focused expression.

Their desks were facing each other to make it easier to talk and work together, but it also inevitably led to some of Ally's mess crawling over to his side. She wasn't doing it on purpose, at least that's what she claimed. He had this theory that her papers, patterns, and funky accessories found their way to his desk in the middle of the night; and she had a tendency to agree with him.

"You bet I'm here early," she said with big eyes. "Would you believe I woke up this morning at 5 am with the most amazing idea for a costume?" She twirled in her chair and looked at him teasingly. "Guess which one," she sang.

Kurt opened his mouth in an excited oh. "You didn't."

"Oh yes I did."

"The Queen of the Demons?"

"The Queen of the Demons," she reaffirmed with a smile and one more twirl on her chair.

"Let me see it," he gasped out.

She reached for her sketchbook, pulled out a sheet of paper and turned it over to Kurt. He was amazed by the mere look. It was a black garment, narrowed at the waist and then widening down towards the floor where it toned into red, flaming colors. A big collar was raised behind the Queen's neck and a very simple crown with edgy and sharp spires pointed up in a mix with more flames on the top of her head. Her arms were covered by silver gloves stretched out to claw-like fingertips, resting on her hips, and a glowing skull-ring on the index finger made the overall impression intimidating.

"This is ridiculously good, Ally" Kurt breathed out. "It's everything I could have imagined and so much more. This is Morigan, in all her evil glory!"

"Yes," she said and fist pumped in the air. "I knew you would like it." She snatched an apple on her desk and took a huge bite with a happy look on her face.

"And you're sure you can sew it?"

"Of course, Hummel, I can sew anything I want."

They were opposites in every way, Kurt and Ally, and by the mere look, it didn't make sense that they could work out. Ally was loud, dreamy and extremely visual, where Kurt was focused, sarcastic and determined. She was a costume designer. They had met through a musical assignment between NYADA and the designer school, "Art of Costumes" that Ally had attended at the time. They had both been in their third year, and the rest was history.

They had instantly clicked. They worked well together and breathed each other's talents. So when they both were out of jobs by the time they graduated, it didn't take long to unite their dreams.

They wanted to write their own musicals, and two weeks later the company "By Blackbird" was a reality.

Kurt started to sort out the most important e-mails for the day. There was so much to do besides the creative part when the company should make a living for the both of them. They had different sponsors to keep happy and funding to seek.

The first step to make this dream come true was to write the musical, with Kurt in the lead male role. The real challenge was to have it picked up by one of the smaller off-off Broadway theaters that believed enough in the project to take a chance on them. None of the big theaters would take a risk like that, which was completely understandable. But if they could make a profitable play out of it, bigger theaters might show interest later on, and things could really take off from there.

One theater group in particular, the Patheon Independent Theater Group, which was housed in Brooklyn, had already expressed an interest in the production. They needed a draft of the play, the storyline, a couple of musical numbers and costume drawings before they would commit. The one major bump in the road at the moment, and the thing that left Kurt sleepless at night, was the musical numbers. He knew how to sing big songs, but he didn't know how to write them. The city was saturated with talented composers, but the good ones were too expensive for a reason – they were good! He and Ally had considered an open audition for songwriters, but with a tight schedule ahead, they had agreed on contacting different agencies and asking for submissions instead.

"Have you received any new submissions today?" Kurt asked and put on his glasses before he started typing an answer to a very determined man who had demanded influence on the play if his company should sponsor anything. That was clearly not going to happen – ever!

Ally threw the rest of her apple in the trashcan and wiped her hands on a napkin. "Yes, I actually have." She touched the mouse to bring her computer back to life; "twenty eight submissions to be exact."

"Really?" Kurt asked and stared at her over the rim of his glasses.

"Yes," she said with a smile, "and I bet we're going to find just the composer we need among them."

Kurt squinted. "We'll see about that. There's no way I'm going to pick someone mediocre just because we run out of time. This musical is nothing if the songs are not powerful and dramatic enough.

Ally surrendered with her palms in the air. "I agree," she remarked a bit sternly. "I'm just asking you to keep an open mind, that's all."

A familiar headache loomed from somewhere in the distance. They'd had this discussion numerous of times, but Kurt refused to compromise on the issue. He had rejected a lot of submissions and composers, even some promising ones, just because it hadn't felt right. "Look Ally, it's more than talent; we both know that." She nodded as he rubbed his temples. "It has to be someone we like, someone we trust, and who can follow our creative pace."

"And I'm sure we'll find just the right person," Ally added, a bit more soft this time. She got up, walked to him, and jumped up to sit on his desk. "This will work out, Kurt." She nudged his foot with her shoe. "We're going to write this amazing musical. We're going to have it picked up by a lot of theaters, and we will succeed."

Kurt met her green eyes with gratitude. Ally was a lot of things, but in the center of her loud, colorful and obnoxious personality was a heart of gold that would never let him down.

He nudged her foot back, expensive Italian leather meeting orange tied up boots made of a questionable material. He smiled at her. "I promise I will loosen up a bit as soon as the issue about a composer is solved."

"You will?" she asked seriously.

He knew he had been on edge and all tensed up for awhile, but only because this was so important to him. He was fighting for this new dream that hopefully would lead him back to the original one.

He winked at her. "I promise."

"We should enjoy this ride you know," she said and stroke his hand. "It's a lot of hard work, but it's also everything we love to do. One day, we'll remember sitting here in the loft looking for the right composer, and tell everybody that it was the moment before everything happened for real. It's right here within our reach, Kurt, and we're going to grab it."

He turned his hand and let their palms meet. "Have I ever told you what an amazing friend you are?" Kurt asked.

"Nope, but I know it anyway. I can see it in your eyes, and that's good enough for me."

She jumped down from his desk again and went to the board hanging next to hers that contained the storyline. It wasn't in a neat chronological from-A-to-B kind of way, more like a this-is-beyond-brainstorming-even-though-it-still- looks-like-that kind of way.

She hummed. "A composer would not know his or hers way in this twirled around story. It's time to make the hard decisions, Kurt. I mean, at least sort out the first couple of scenes and then go from there."

Kurt tugged down the sleeves of his shirt and brushed his pant off one more time before he joined her. "I agree," he said and viewed the three boards hanging next to each other. Besides the board with all Ally's drawings, there was a board covered in pins with post-it's, scrap pieces of paper, and even a napkin, all written whenever he got an idea.

The third board was completely empty, divided in two, one for the first half of the play, and another one for the second half. This board was meant for the real thing. When a note about a person, or a scene, or a song went to the blank board it had to make chronological sense.

"Okay," Kurt said after a while. "I'll try to get some headliners on the final board today."

It was actually a daunting process and he realized he had been putting it off for a reason. Everybody could brainstorm and have different ideas, but not everybody could transform it into a play. Now he had to prove to himself that he could do exactly that.

He had to focus on the bigger lines in the story. The release of tension and climax had to peak in part two, so first thing was to move everything concerning that scene to the second half on the final board. Then he slowly started to build up the settings around that particular scene.

So far none of the submissions Ally had been playing in the background had really caught his attention. A lot of the songs people had written seemed unpolished and fumbling. Besides, writing a couple of songs could not really be compared to writing 10 – 12 songs, arranged for an entire orchestra.

Kurt was lost in the details of the lead character's entrance in the scene when the room suddenly vibrated with a familiar voice from Ally's computer. He froze in his motion and suddenly found himself listening with every fiber in his body as he closed his blue eyes.

He would have recognized that voice among thousands of voices. It was a deep rooted part of him and it had been touching his heart when he thought it was untouchable. The deep, soft bass, mixed with a more raw unpolished higher pitch that made it unique and complex.

Kurt exhaled as something forgotten and buried grew like a flower through concrete. He listened to the lyrics, caught the nature and mood of the melody. Every rise and fall of that voice pulled him back to something that had made his world complete 5 years ago.

Warm amber eyes that had made love to him even before the physical connection. Glimpse of a soul that had matched his in more ways than he had thought possible at his young age.

"Wow, are you listening to this, Kurt?" Ally pulled him right back to reality with her excitement.

Kurt managed to center himself again before answering. "Yes," he said softly, still facing the board, "I'm listening."

"He is good, Kurt, and it's a beautiful song," she stated, "by far the best we've heard! Let me just check out who this guy is."

Kurt could hear her tap away on her computer as the song continued in the background.

He let the vibration in his body settle before he slowly turned around and looked at her. "His name is Blaine Anderson," he then said and tried to make the world stop spinning. The engagement ring on his finger suddenly felt heavier than a rock.


	2. The Chances Are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for allerts and reviews ;-)
> 
> I present to you: Blaine Anderson.

Blaine was the first member of the band to arrive. Not that it surprised him at all, he just sometimes wished he wasn't the most organized one of the four. Too many things were left for him to sort out and as he cleaned up after last night's late jam session, he decided it was time to set things straight once the others came around. They were lucky for having the spot in the first place, and even though he was the one working here, it didn't mean the rest of the band should care any less.

Blaine had moved to New York three months ago and for now he was living with Cooper. It was just a temporary solution, they both kept saying, mainly because they didn't want to get in each other's way. But the truth was that they both enjoyed the arrangement much more than they had anticipated, so Blaine was in no hurry to move out.

Their rehearsal spot was nothing but a cluttered room in the basement of a music school. Blaine was giving piano lessons to some of the students that had been put on the admission waiting list. As soon as a spot in the program was available, he would have to pass his students on. He was mainly teaching children from 9 – 12 years old, but he had a few even younger than that, down to the age of 5.

It was meant to be a job just to give him some kind of income, but the more he got to know the kids, the more he enjoyed the lessons with them.

His biggest dream, however, would always be their band, "Sound Of Seduction". So far they mainly did covers, which had already earned them a steady gig in a small café in Lower Manhattan. But later on, Blaine wanted to sing his own songs and make it with the band, for real. He wanted to tour around the country doing endless rows of live concerts, putting a smile on people's faces; that's what he breathed for.

Megan was the first one to peek inside the messy room. "Hi Blainers," she said cheerfully. "Whoa, what happened here?" Her nose got all wrinkled and her brows furrowed.

Blaine shook his head. "Well you were here last night too, Meg, so you tell me."

"Oooh, yeah, you're right," she slowly admitted and put her hands on her hips. "But it was a great rehearsal; you have to give me that."

He smiled at her. It was hard to stay mad at Megan for very long, and she was right, it had been a great rehearsal.

"That song, "This Is Not Me" is one of your biggest so far," she said.

"You think?"

"Definitely."

"And you're not just saying that to avoid cleaning up the room with me?"

"Nope," she answered. "And to prove you are wrong, I'll start cleaning up right now."

"Well, that would be the first, wouldn't it?" Blaine chuckled.

"Am I really that bad?" she asked surprised.

"Um, Matt's worse, but honestly, you're coming in second."

"Wow, and here I thought I was being a fairly decent kind of person," she stated dryly.

"No, you're not," Blaine teased. "But you kill at the piano, and my love for you could cover the earth, so I will forgive your lack of cleaning skills."

Megan beamed at him and gave him a wet kiss on the cheek.

They started cleaning the room and kept the friendly banter going between them. Megan was a really sweet girl with ruffled blond hair and smiling eyes. She was a peace keeper in the band and made sure everybody felt happy and heard. She had been auditioning for her spot in the band, but Blaine had known after the first few chords that she was everything they had been looking for. Her father was a well known jazz musician and when the big names arrived to New York he was the one they called, for a fun night jam session.

Megan had very early on been attending the finest music schools in New York, starting out the classical way, but the pressure had almost crushed her, and after a time off from all kind music in three years, she had finally found her own way back.

The band was her motivation, and it provided a musical outlet for her that she so desperately needed. She had contributed with a jazzy pop edge to their covers and her way of harmonizing had inspired Blaine in his own songs as well.

The next band member to show, only 15 minutes late, was Josh. Josh was the son of one of Cooper's friends. He had been shoved down Blaine's throat at first, because Cooper owed his friend a favor, and as unprofessional as that had been, it had turned out that Josh, despite his young age at 17, was a very skillful drummer. He was eager to learn, and soon Blaine had learned that Josh had just as much to offer as the rest of the members; personally and musically.

Matt was an hour late, which was, even for his standards, too much. Blaine shot him a killer stare the moment his apologetic freckled face showed in the door.

"Okay, here's the thing, Blainers," the red haired friend started, "and I just know you're going to forgive me here."

Blaine let out a hiss through pursed lips. "This better be good Matthew, because an hour is close to inexcusable, especially when you don't call and tell me you're going be this late." Blaine couldn't hide his disappointment. Matt was a very dear friend, one of the closest at the time, but he shouldn't take advantage of that, and especially not when Blaine required the rest of the band to be there on time.

"I got us a gig." Matt burst out like Blaine was a bomb he could prevent from blowing up in his face.

"I'm listening," Blaine said tired.

"Great first step," Matt huffed out, "listening is good." He still eyed Blaine cautiously. "There is this jazz bar in Soho called "The Cavazz"; they have an opening spot on Saturday if we can make it."

Blaine frowned. "A jazz bar, we don't really do jazz, we do cheesy, funny, up-tempo rock and pop."

Matt tilted his head and grinned. "The bar has a night, once a month called: "It's Not All Jazz", and that's our gig; and besides, Meg can sneak the coolest jazz chords into any pop tune, I'm just saying." Matt winked at Megan and made a cute shrug. She blew him a kiss back.

Blaine had to admit that this was good news. "Okay, maybe this can make up for at least 45 minutes of being late, but what about the last 15 minutes?"

Now Matt looked sheepish. He had clearly counted all of his sins for forgiven.

"Um, right, I see your point there," Matt sighed. "Why don't you guys make up some sort of punishment? Just don't get money involved because I'm broke as a poet without pen and paper."

Meg and Blaine side eyed each other, and Blaine made up his mind. "We have just agreed on the punishment."

"But you haven't even talked about it yet," Matt objected. "Shouldn't you guys have some sort of meeting and talk about how my personal qualities might make up for some of my errors, and then vote to make sure the decision is based on democracy?"

"We don't have to, because we all just agreed to this, right Josh?" Blaine turned to the drummer, who had just taken a huge bite of a sandwich. God bless his soul, Blaine thought. He still remembered what it was like to be a teenager, and being hungry every minute of the day.

Josh swallowed his bite quickly. "I agree one hundred percent," he laughed and took another bite.

Matt rolled his eyes. "Okay, hit me with your best shot. What do I have to do?"

"You're going to clean up the rest of this mess when we are done rehearsing today."

Matt looked around a bit confused. "Um, what mess?"

Blaine winked at him. "You're a clever boy, Matt, you go figure it out, but you have to spend all 15 minutes doing the job, 5 minutes will not cut it."

Matt gave in. "Okay, I promise the room will be spotless when I leave." Josh laughed behind him, still chewing on his sandwich. Matt turned around and waggled his eyebrows before he faced Blaine again. "Can I now have my thank-you-for-getting-us-a-gig?" he asked with a smirk.

Blaine smiled this time. "Thank you for getting us the gig, Matt. It sounds really cool, and you did well."

Matt beamed. "Blaine likes me," he mouthed to Megan.

Megan bit her lips and took a seat behind the piano. "Well who doesn't?" she mumbled.

Ten minutes later, with Matt's bass in tune, everybody was ready to get started. They still needed a guitarist in the band, and they were on the look-out for one, but Blaine wouldn't just go with anybody, and Matt wouldn't either for that matter. The dynamics in the group was crucial; they both knew that, so they had decided to wait for the right guy.

Half way through the first song, Blaine's phone suddenly buzzed in his pocket. They had a no phone-calls policy during rehearsals, but the possibility of somebody calling to offer them a gig, ruled it out occasionally.

Blaine checked the display, but when he didn't recognize the caller he decided it was better to pick up the call.

He hushed the music before answering: "Blaine Anderson."

"Hi Blaine … it's Kurt."

Blaine took sharp breath of surprise. The voice was soft and light, but also hesitant. With eyes closed a huge grin spread across his face. "Hi Kurt … um wow, this is unexpected."

Blaine got aware of Matt's curious face as the conversation behind him silenced. He cleared his throat. "Um … can you hang on a bit, Kurt? I um …," he huffed out a laugh, "I have to go somewhere private."

"Sure."

Blaine heard the smile in Kurt's voice, and he couldn't help the bounce that snuck into his steps as he walked through the door and closed it behind him. He took a deep breath and centered himself before he put the phone back to his ear. "Okay, I'm back. It's really good to hear your voice," he stuttered. Blaine clenched his fist. What a stupid thing to say! They hadn't talked for years, and this was the first thing that came to mind.

"It's good to hear your voice too," Kurt replied. "I didn't know you had moved to New York."

"Well, I moved here in August, and so far I like it."

"I knew you would; even though some things take time to get used to."

"Yeah, I know. But I live with Cooper, and he is helping me out a lot."

"Cooper is living in New York too?" Kurt asked surprised.

"Yeah, who would have thought, right? But people change, you know."

"Yeah, I know," Kurt answered softly.

Blaine's heart started beating a bit faster. It felt almost unreal to finally talk to Kurt after all these years. "Um, do you still live in the loft with Rachel?" he asked.

"No, I've got my own place now. Both Rachel and Santana moved out awhile ago, and I needed something smaller. But I've kept the loft as an office, so it's still in good use."

"Well that's great to hear." Blaine bit his lip. "How did you know I had moved to New York by the way?" he then asked.

"Well, that's a pretty funny story," Kurt replied, "and I'm not sure if you will believe it right away."

Blaine hummed. "Well, try me, I'm usually easy to convince."

Kurt cleared his throat. "You have submitted a song to a company called "By Blackbird", right?"

"Oh, yeah, I was contacted by one of my teachers from college. She doesn't exactly work as my agent, but she looks out for different possibilities. They are looking for a composer, right? How do you know the company?"

"Well, it's my company, that's why I know," Kurt chuckled.

"Do you just like have your own company?"

"Now don't offend me by sounding so surprised, of course I have my own company." Some of Kurt's well known sass shined through.

"Wow." Blaine couldn't keep the outburst back. "That is so cool."

"Thank you very much," Kurt said solemnly.

"And you need a composer?"

"Exactly, I'm currently writing a musical, but my composing skills leave a lot to wish for, and my "partner in crime" is a costume designer, so she doesn't know how to write songs either."

"Did you heard my song?"

"Yes," Kurt said softly, "and I liked it … a lot."

A proud feeling rushed through Blaine's chest. People often praised his songs, but it was still something special coming from Kurt, even after all this time. "Thank you. Wait you're not just calling because you know me, right? It's not some kind of let's-give-Blaine-a-good-start-in-the-big-city, because I'm not interested in anything like that! And I swear to god that I didn't know you owned that company."

"No, Blaine," Kurt reassured calm. "I'm calling you because you're the best we've heard by far. And Ally, my business partner, picked you out even before I told her I knew you."

"So, this Ally, who is a costume designer, picked me out? Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Blaine teased.

"Hey, costume designers can know about music too!" Kurt said friendly.

Blaine laughed. "Touché"

"Look, I promise you, that I'm only calling you because you're the best."

Blaine felt relieved. He wouldn't take charity from anybody concerning his music. It had to be earned fair and square. "So, do I come to some sort of audition, or do you have a specific song in mind that you want me to write first?"

"We would like you to come to the loft, maybe tomorrow, or the day after. I can tell you something about the storyline and what kind of music we are looking for, and then we'll take it from there."

"I would love that, Kurt. You just have to promise me that you'll be brutally honest, that's all."

"Well honesty is my middle name, just ask anybody at NYADA."

"Ha," Blaine huffed out, "you know I will if I sense foul play."

"Deal, so do you want the job?"

"Are you kidding me? I would love to do something like that!"

"Great," Kurt said. "Now I better stick to the honesty thing right away."

"Sure." Blaine waited for whatever might come and tried to prepare himself.

"Can we meet for coffee first?" Kurt asked. "I kind of need to know if we can work together; and I promised Ally I would make sure of that … you know because of our … history."

"So Ally knows about our relationship in high school?" Blaine asked, as thousand pictures from the halls of McKinley qued up in his mind.

"Ally knows about everything. And I might as well warn you. It's impossible to lie to her. She can detect it like a Geiger counter in a radioactive environment, or a dog sniffing blood. But the upside is that she can keep a secret like her life depends on it."

Blaine frowned, not sure if he should be intimidated by this Ally-girl or excited to meet her. "Okay, I'll stick to the truth then."

"So, what do you say? Are you up for it?"

"Yes, of course. Let's meet for coffee. I'm free around 3, how about you?"

"That'll work. There's a coffee shop down on 58th street. Not the Starbucks, but the one further down. Best coffee ever."

"I'm in … 3 o'clock."

"Okay, see you then."

"Yeah, see you."

Blaine meant to hang up, but he couldn't, so he just waited in silence. "Kurt, are you still there?"

"Yes, I'm here, Blaine," Kurt said quiet.

"Thanks for calling … I've missed you."

"I've missed you too, and I'm … looking forward to see you again."

"Me too. Bye."

"Bye."

Blaine leaned back against the wall and slide down until he sat on the floor.

He needed a minute.

Getting over Kurt had been the hardest thing he'd ever had to do. The guilt had been eating him up and when Kurt had been too hurt to offer him any kind of closure it had hurt just as bad as the break up itself. Sam had been the one picking him up. He had seen through all the ways Blaine wanted to punish himself, and made him believe that he was still one of the good guys.

Maybe this was lifes way of giving him a second chance for having Kurt as a friend again. He would never dare to hope for more, but they had started out as friends, and maybe they could get there again somehow.

He had been dating guys at college. Nothing too serious until he had met Mitch, but still then it hadn't been this consuming overwhelming love that knocks you off your feet. He and Mitch had never made plans for the future anyway. They'd had a silent agreement that their relationship was for college and then they would go their separate ways.

Blaine got up and took a deep breath. The band was waiting and soul searching was for night times, lying in his bed, surrounded by darkness. He made sure to put on an indifferent expression on his face and stepped back to the rehearsal room

"Okay, let's try the next number on our set list," he shouted over the chit-chat and the music. "Let's take it from the top." They rehearsed the intro in a loop as Matt stepped closer, still playing the bass.

"So, Blainers," he said and waggled his eyebrows. "Was that Kurt, as in your Kurt?"

Blaine shook his head. He didn't really need this right now. "Nope, because he is not my Kurt."

"Okay, I can rephrase it if that's what you need. "Was that Kurt as in Kurt Hummel?"

"It was," Blaine now admitted. "And don't start with me, okay. Just play your intro like you're supposed to."

Matt smirked. "I just thought the name "Kurt" rang a bell, that's all."

Blaine rolled his eyes and cued the rest of the band to the first verse.

Matt had helped him through college in so many ways, and he had witnessed on first hand, how Blaine had fought with the shadows of his one true love from high school. But this was different, and he didn't need any advice, not even from Matt about how this could potentially be a bad idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting reviews are like opening christmas presents ;-)
> 
> See you Sunday
> 
> Love Melissa


	3. How You Remind Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for great reviews and for recieving the original characters so well :-)
> 
> Hope you will enjoy this next chapter.

Kurt wanted to be at the coffee shop early. He couldn't explain why that was important, but it was. He had left Ally with two messed up boards, containing only bits and pieces of the storyline. But he had promised to come back later, and at least have something ready for Blaine tomorrow.

The phone call had stayed with him throughout the day. Hearing Blaine's voice again, knowing that he was doing alright, that he was pursuing dreams of his own, had been amazing. Who knew what it would be like to see him again? It was impossible to tell, but Kurt really hoped that things would work out. Most importantly, he was pretty sure Blaine could handle the job. Plus, as anxious as it made Kurt to admit it, it would be great if they could restore their friendship again.

He made his way through the crowded pavement on 58th Street. He would be at the coffee shop in about five minutes, which would be half an hour early. He slowed down in his tracks and took a deep breath. It was just coffee...no big deal, right?

He caught his reflection in the windows he passed by, impeccable dressed as always. He wouldn't look that different to Blaine on the outside, but on the inside he was well aware that Kurt Hummel from McKinley High had changed. Some days he was not sure if he had changed for the better.

His phone buzzed with an incoming text, saving him from all the gloomy thoughts.

 

From Benjamin

\- Can I seduce you with salmon and white wine tonight 3

 

Kurt smiled and kept walking as he texted back.

 

From Kurt

\- I hereby consider myself seduced. So yes please :-)

 

From Benjamin

\- You could play harder to get, you know.

 

From Kurt

\- I could, but when you tempt me with low carbon food, you know I can't resist.

 

From Benjamin

\- Are you home by 6?

 

Kurt looked at his watch. It was 2.30 now, and he was supposed to meet Blaine at 3.

 

From Kurt

\- 6 is fine.

 

Kurt put the phone back in his pocket. Things hadn't been so easy going with Benjamin lately. Everything was changing slightly somewhere in the corners and edges of their relationship, and it was confusing and grievous. He just wanted to be happy, but lately it had seemed like too much to ask for. His will to fight was strong as ever, but his expectations for life had been lessened dramatically. At his lightest moments he considered himself a realist, but in his darkest hours he felt nothing less than disillusioned.

As soon as Kurt entered the coffee-shop, he realized he wasn't the only one with the thought of showing up early. Blaine had already found a table at the window section and a defeated smile spread across his face. Kurt bit his lip and approached the table with a racing heart.

The embrace between them was sweet and warm, the scent of Blaine sent Kurt spiraling back to a thousand memories layered in his mind. Back to the way Blaine's hand had felt strong on his back when they had been dancing; the way he always slightly parted his lips right before a big smile; and the way his body felt when they had cuddled watching a movie. But it was also memories of this huge hole in his heart, and more pain than he had been able to handle.

Kurt pulled away slowly. "It's good to see you", he said softly, dwelling in the golden stare.

"It's good to see you too." Blaine's smile was warm and white, just like he always remembered. He chuckled. "I tried to come here early just to, you know, collect my thoughts."

Kurt nodded, cheeks turning pink. "And then I ruined everything by doing exactly the same thing."

"No, no... you didn't ruin anything," Blaine quickly assured.

Kurt blinked, taking in the sight before him.. Blaine Anderson was still cute; that hadn't changed. He shrugged off the leather coat and hung it on the chair in front of him together with his scarf. "I'm getting some coffee. Do you need a refill already," he asked and nodded to towards the cup in Blaine's hands.

"No, I'm still good," Blaine chuckled. "I didn't come that early."

"Well you never know," Kurt said amused and made a beeline for the counter. As he was waiting for coffee he tried to decide what to say next. They had never been lost for words when they were together, but things were different now. He paid for the coffee and returned to their table.

"You look good, by the way," Blaine said as Kurt sat down again.

Kurt pursed his lips to hide a smile. "Thank you," he said. "You look good too." Blaine's style was still casual, a bit more mature maybe. His hair was less gelled, yet still in place. He didn't exactly look older, but somehow life had added an extra layer to his eyes, a slightly different expression. Maybe Blaine saw the same thing in Kurt's eyes as well.

"I still can't believe this crazy coincidence," Blaine started. "Of all the ways we could have met again, this is what happened."

"I know," Kurt agreed. "What were the chances of something like that?"

"I suppose we still have thing to do together … if this works out, I mean," Blaine quickly added. "It's not like I'm assuming anything."

"No, it's alright, Blaine. I would love for this to work out, too. I've never doubted your talent, and I've always appreciated your friendship."

"Thank you."

Kurt nursed his coffee. "So when did you start writing songs? I didn't know you could do that?"

"I didn't know I had it in me either, but I met this amazing guy at Northwestern in Chicago. He really encouraged me to try, and I ended up with a Bachelor degree in Music Composition"

"Wow, so are the two of you still together?" Kurt asked curious.

Blaine looked puzzled for a moment, not quite following at first. "Oh, you mean … no, no, um, Matt is … straight as a board."

Kurt almost choked in his coffee.

"Oh god," Blaine moaned. "That did not come out right, at all!"

"But it sure did sound funny," Kurt said with a wink and grabbed a napkin.

Blaine huffed out a laugh, the tension between them lifted a bit more. "Let me try again," Blaine said and shook his head. "Matt is a really good friend of mine. I met him in college and we started playing music together. After graduating we both decided to move to New York and try to make a living of music. So, here we are."

"It's just the two of you?"

"Not anymore. We've found a drummer and a piano player here in New York, and we already have booked some promising gigs."

Kurt smiled. "I'm happy to hear that, Blaine. Where are you playing the next time?"

"Um, this Saturday, at something called "The Cavazz".

"Oh, that's in Soho. Are you're doing one of those "It's not all jazz" nights?"

"You know about those?" Blaine raised his eyebrows.

"Of course. It's a pretty cool place, small but cozy. Can I come and listen to you?"

"Sure," Blaine answered happy. "That would be … great."

They both smiled. God, Kurt had missed this for so long; hanging out with Blaine, sitting in a coffee shop, encouraging each other. His heart leaped and he had to hurry up drinking the coffee instead of staring at Blaine.

"Tell me about NYADA," Blaine said and removed his scarf as well.

"Oh, what can I say," Kurt started. "It's a dangerous place, that's for sure."

"How so?"

"The competition is vicious."

"Really?"

Kurt nodded in a matter-of-fact way. "Rachel Berry is a pure angel in that category, and Kurt Hummel is too, if I may say so."

"Okay, didn't see that coming. I haven't met anyone as determined as you and Rachel."

"Maybe, but when it turns out that everybody wants the same thing just as bad as you, it's no longer enough to have the talent and the attitude to go with it."

"I certainly could have used some of your attitude in my life from time to time," Blaine said with his chin on his fist. "I need more "Kurt Hummel", from time to time."

Kurt's mouth twitched hearing those words.

Blaine got pale. "Oh God, no. I mean not like that … can you just … not listen to me today. I was talking about your attitude, you knew that, right?"

Kurt smirked, silently laughing inside. Yes, Blaine was still the cutest guy he had ever met, especially when he got nervous. "I know you were talking about my attitude, just relax, Blaine Anderson," he finally said, and then he continued. "I survived NYADA and made a name for myself there, but it's a very traditional place, and so is Broadway. I graduated with perfect grades and in every audition I attend, I'm told that I'm an amazing performer, but I'm just not the type they're looking for; which translates to, I'm too gay to play the straight roles, and they don't know what to make of me if I should sing women's parts."

Blaine frowned. "It's just like "West Side Story", all over again!"

"You could say that. The difference was, however, that I was happy to give up the role as Tony to you, but I'm not happy giving up roles to somebody I know I can out-perform."

Blaine's eyes softened at the corners, and once again Kurt had to look away for a moment. "Do you know what my dad said when I whined about "West Side Story" back then?"

Blaine nodded. "He said you should write your own stuff."

"Yes," Kurt breathed out, happy that Blaine remembered; "which is why I am now writing my own musical."

"Kurt, I would really love to be a part of that."

"Great," Kurt said and smiled with his eyes.

They continued to fill in the blank spots five years of separation had left behind; from the time Blaine had left McKinley as a senior, to his college degree, and from Kurt's second NYADA audition, up until the moment he decided to be his own boss, just like his dad.

When they both had had their third refill, Blaine cleared his throat. "So are you going to tell me about that wedding ring on your finger, or should I just pretend it's not there," he asked with a wink.

Kurt twisted the ring on his finger, taken off guard for a moment. He didn't mind that Blaine was asking, but for some reason it suddenly felt hard to answer. "It's not, I mean I'm not married, it's just an engagement ring." He regretted the phrasing right away. "Well, it's not just an engagement ring," he corrected himself. "We've been engaged three months."

"Congratulations," Blaine said and offered a warm smile.

But it was hard to read him at that moment. Was he really happy for Kurt, or did something just die in his eyes?

The silence between them became awkward until Blaine reached out and squeezed Kurt's hand as to assure him. "Tell me about him," he said and pulled back again.

Kurt's hand was burning from the touch, and he swallowed hard before he could move on. "His name is Benjamin. I've known him for almost two years. We met at a party Ally's brother was throwing and started to talk." Kurt shrugged as if it wasn't that big of a deal. "He is in real estate, by the way."

Blaine looked surprised. "So, no theater music geek or Broadway star; just real estate."

Kurt squinted and kicked him under the table. "He could have been an accountant, that would have been a lot worse."

Blaine bit his lip and chuckled. "You're right, that would have been a disaster."

Kurt rolled his eyes and smirked. Blaine had just made the hardest subject of the day easier to talk about?

Blaine tilted his head and looked at Kurt with big eyes. "Are you happy?"

Kurt blinked at the bold question. "Yes, I um … Benjamin is a really sweet guy. He loves me a lot, and I know he wouldn't do anything to hurt me. I trust him."

Kurt could have bit off his tongue when he saw Blaine's face falter. This time he was the one reaching out for Blaine's hand. "Blaine, I didn't mean it like that; not at all!"

Blaine met his eyes, the cheerfulness was gone and that extra layer of life's disappointments showed. He didn't move his hand, but let it rest underneath Kurt's. "Don't you think we should talk about this, Kurt? We've never really had closure and I think we ought to have that, if we are serious about being friends again, I mean."

Kurt slowly removed his hand again. "I can't do that Blaine," he breathed out. "It is such a long time ago. Can't we just start over and deal with our lives as they are now?"

Blaine smiled, but something utterly sad stayed with him. Then he snapped out of it. "Yes," he said with a nod. "We can do it anyway you want it."

"I really want to be your friend, too," Kurt said with hope in his voice.

"Let's make this work, Kurt." Blaine said and relaxed again. "Now, tell me about the play."

Kurt lightened up and leaned a bit forward. "I'd rather not tell you too much about the storyline here. You can call me paranoid or pretend that I don't think too much of myself, but NYADA has brought me ,up that way."

"Fair enough," Blaine said.

"But I can tell you how I imagine the music. I'm trying to balance a very fine line between something classic, with a new take to it. I still need the big presumptuous songs, but if you can mix it with something more modern it would be great. I'll even allow you to sneak in a pop tune here and there; something catchy."

"Ooh, how bold of you, Mr. Hummel. You do realize it's the perfect mix of the two of us, right?"

Kurt laughed out loud now. "Let me guess, I'm the big presumptuous song and you're the pop tune?"

Blaine shrugged with a cute smile. "I'm just saying."

"God, you're right," Kurt sighed. "But I guess that proves once and for all that you're the right man for the job."

Blaine leaned back. "Let me just write you one song for starters, and if you and Ally like it, we can go from there. You don't owe me anything until we know for sure that I can deliver what you're looking for."

Kurt nodded, elated, and sat up straight in the chair. "Sure, let's do it like that."

Kurt's steps were much lighter as he hurried home. He was late; time had slipped through his hands like sand. Three hours had passed like it was nothing. Blaine had told a lot about his relationship with Cooper, which had obviously changed for the better, and a lot about college. And from the stories alone, Kurt could vividly imagine Matt like he'd already met the guy.

He sent a quick text before he arrived home.

 

To Ally

\- Blaine is coming tomorrow. The meeting was a success!

 

He hurried into the elevator and slipped through in the door in the upper east side penthouse. It was actually Benjamin's apartment, but Kurt had moved in before the summer holiday. He still had his own apartment in Bushwick and had been reluctant to let it go. He used to go there if he needed the quietness or room enough to work through a creative block; and he felt comfortable there.

The penthouse was however much bigger; a dream come true for any New Yorker. It was modern, with huge windows facing an impressive skyline. As Benjamin always said, if a real estate agent with a respectable income shouldn't live like this, who should. But the truth of the matter was that Kurt was a vintage guy. He had loved the loft in Bushwick. It had been romantic and creative, and it had represented all the dreams he had brought with him to New York.

Benjamin would love to stay in the penthouse once they were married, but Kurt didn't really feel at home there, so Benjamin had promised they would look for something they both wanted.

"Sorry for being late," Kurt said out of breath and pecked a kiss on Benjamin's cheek. He was a handsome man, Benjamin, with blond ruffled hair and beautiful features. He could pass for the "ladies man" if that was the impression he wanted to leave, but he had never been ashamed of who he was, and his softest spot was Kurt.

Benjamin smiled at him. "Well whatever held you up, it certainly made you cheerful."

Kurt took the wine glass Benjamin held out for him, and enjoyed the cool liquor running through his throat. "I am cheerful, and your cooking smells amazing."

"Well, I am trying to seduce you, remember?"

Kurt bit his lip. "I remember."

"So, are you going to tell me why you're grinning like an idiot?"

Kurt took a deep breath. "I think we may have found a composer."

Benjamin concentrated on the state of his salmon. "And it's a good one, too, I take from all your excitement."

Kurt nodded and grabbed the plates. He wanted to make good use of himself and set the table.

"I've already done that," Benjamin said with smile.

Kurt looked from the tall counter and the bar stools to the dining area. They rarely used the big oak table unless they had company. On an everyday basis they just sat by the counter, right next to the cooking island.

Benjamin had set everything up for a romantic dinner for two. "Oh," Kurt said puzzled. "Have I forgotten something here? It looks like Valentine's Day or an anniversary."

Benjamin chuckled. "No, you have not forgotten anything. We've just been so busy lately, and I'd like to feel that we're actually engaged to each other, you know. So I thought this could be nice, and then we could start planning the wedding a bit. Maybe even set a date."

Kurt swallowed hard. Why hadn't he seen this coming? "It all looks very lovely, Benjamin. I just have to get back to the office tonight. I wish you had told me something about this."

Benjamin's face faltered. "What's the rush, Kurt?"

"Well the composer I told you about is stopping by tomorrow, and I still need to work some more on the storyline." Kurt stepped closer to his boyfriend and looped his arms around the man's neck. "I'm really sorry about this, Ben, but you know that we've been looking for a composer forever. Now that he's here, I have to wrap things up a bit."

Benjamin smiled and sighed into the hug. "I know, honey. Well, can you at least tell me something about the guy? How did you find him and what's his style?"

They both got seated at the table and Kurt started explaining while Benjamin plated his dinner and made sure there was wine in his glass.

"Well it was basically a submission. He had written this amazing song, and we agreed that he was the best we've heard by far. So I called him and we met for coffee this afternoon."

Benjamin frowned. "Just don't give too much away about the storyline, until you know him better."

Kurt hesitated before he answered. "No, of course not."

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Later, when he worked in front of the boards in the office, he kept asking himself why he hadn't told Benjamin who Blaine really was. Ben knew about his high school sweetheart who had cheated on him and broken his heart, but Kurt had never given him a name. Every time Benjamin had asked about it, Kurt had always made it clear that he didn't want to talk about it.

It was just ... everything would be so much more complicated if Benjamin was told that "minor" detail, so this had to do for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review - and then I'll be back Wednesday :)
> 
> Love Melissa


	4. A Voice Of Your Own

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter where the title suddenly makes sense ;-)
> 
> Hope you will enjoy it - and feel free to comment.

Blaine was exhausted when he got home late that night. After he had said goodbye to Kurt outside the coffee shop, he had headed straight to a band rehearsal with a box of Chinese take out and a head buzzing with the set list for Saturday. He couldn't wait to see Kurt again tomorrow and learn more details about the play. He hoped the themes would be easy to compose for.

It had been an emotional day and parts of it had to be layered and processed before he could sort out his feelings. Kurt had been stunning as ever and Blaine knew he could fall in love with him again in a heartbeat, but the ring on Kurt's hand made it a complete no-go, which would be for the better anyway.

Cooper was zoned out in front of the TV, barely conscious, when Blaine joined him. Cooper was still involved in advertising, but now worked behind the camera. He was hired as a director and casting agent for a smaller company and seemed happier and more content than Blaine had ever seen him.

"Hey there, baby brother," Cooper said, raising his eyebrows just enough to keep his eyes open. "You're home late."

"Yeah, and I'm hitting the sack in two minutes. You look like you should do the same." Blaine let himself slump down on the other couch and yawned.

"But it's so comfy here and my bed is like ten steps away, which is way too far with the amount of energy I'm left with right now. Do you see my problem?" Cooper whined.

"Sure, life is a bitch, right?"

"It really is. So, did anything exciting happen today?"

Blaine grinned. "There is something too old-married-couple about us, Coops. We have to step it up a notch. We are two young guys living in New York. We should be out partying and hanging out with other cool people."

"I hear you, loud and clear, Bee. But let's step it up tomorrow. I'm too tired to do it now."

Blaine threw a pillow at his brother, but Cooper returned it immediately with a snort.

With his arms behind his head and tired feet resting on the coffee table, Blaine faced his brother. "Actually it has been an exciting day, now that you ask with such overwhelming interest."

Cooper got up on one elbow with a curious look. "Spill it Bee, I'm all ears."

"Well, first of all Matt got us a gig at some place called "The Cavazz" this Saturday."

"Really?" Cooper said, impressed. "Is it one of those "It's not all about Jazz" nights?"

"How does everyone know about this place, except me?" Blaine burst out.

"Maybe because you've only lived in New York for three months, and I have live here for two years," Cooper answered mockingly. "But seriously, that's a cool place. I'll make sure to be there; maybe a couple of the girls from the office can come too."

"I'm suddenly getting nervous," Blaine said, rubbing his face.

"Because I'm bringing some of my friends?" Cooper asked. "They have all been dying to meet my talented little brother. I'm bragging about you all the time."

"No, it's not that. It just seems to be a big deal all of sudden. So many people apparently know about this place. I'm not sure what we have agreed to here"

"But that's the beauty of it." Coopers smiled. "You never know when some of the right people, with the right connections are going to pop in and see a band they like. It could be a big chance!"

"I know... I just hope we're ready."

"It's all about energy and attitude, you've always said that. And you've got energy and attitude bursting out of your buttonholes the minute you step on a stage. You honestly shouldn't worry about this."

Blaine frowned. He appreciated the encouragement, but wasn't convinced. "It's just that this is New York...it's kind of intimidating. But thanks for saying.

"Anytime, bro," Cooper said with a smug smile. "Okay, you said first of all, what is the second of all?"

"Um, I had coffee with Kurt Hummel today." Blaine tried to say it as casual and unconcerned as possible, but Cooper's furrowed brows didn't come as a surprise.

He sat up straight on the couch, apparently forgetting that he had been tired. "Kurt Hummel... really?"

"Yep, but it was a complete coincidence," Blaine assured.

"So, you just bumped into each other among millions of people in New York?" Cooper asked suspiciously.

"No, it was more of a coincidence than that." Blaine twitched a bit before he continued. "You know I have been submitting some of my songs to recording studios and theaters, right?" Cooper just nodded. "Among those was a company called "By Blackbird". They were looking for a composer for a musical. I emailed a link for "That's Not Who I Am", and then out of the blue Kurt called me during rehearsal this morning. It turns out that "By Blackbird" is his company, and that he is the one writing the musical, along with a costume designer he met a couple of years ago."

"Wow," Cooper said and let the information sink. "It's not like a favor or anything, right? Because you are better than that."

"No, he has promised me it's not. His co-worker apparently singled me out before he revealed that we knew each other."

"I guess it could be a big shot then?"

"It's hard to say," Blaine answered. "I don't know anything about the play yet, but if I get to write all the songs for the musical, it's a hell of a thing to have on my resume. Especially if the songs turns out to be any good. Kurt's in touch with a theater group who does different set-ups on one of the off-off-Broadway theaters, and if they approve the script they will pick it up, with Kurt as the male lead.

Cooper's blue eyes captured his brother's. "What was it like to see him again?"

Blaine cleared his throat. "A bit weird at first, but then things were fine. I'm meeting him and his co-worker tomorrow and then I'll write the first song as a try-out. He is stopping by at "The Cavazz" Saturday night, too."

Cooper nodded. "I think it sounds really great, Blaine, I do. Just don't fall in love with him again, okay. You went through hell after the break up, and I don't want you to go through something like that ever again."

If Blaine should pinpoint a time in his life where he realized Cooper would be there for him, it was during his first year in college. Sam had been the one pulling him through his senior year, but Matt and Cooper had helped him in Chicago. Getting over Kurt was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do, and Cooper knew the price he had paid for being unfaithful. So Blaine could understand his brother's concern.

"Don't worry, Coops," Blaine finally said. "Kurt's engaged and I just want to be friends with him again... that's all. I've really missed his friendship."

"Well, as long as you've got it under control, Casanova, then I guess it's alright."

"You are so sweet when you play the worried big brother."

This time Cooper was the first one to throw the pillow and muffle Blaine's laugher.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning Blaine took the subway from Lower East Manhattan to Bushwick. He got off next to Maria Hernandes Park and walked the few blocks to Willoughby Avenue. He hadn't been here since that disastrous weekend where he had told Kurt about Eli, and now he needed to shake off the bad memories and replace them with new, happier ones.

The minute Blaine stepped inside the loft Kurt gave him a warm hug. "Welcome to Bushwick," he laughed with his soft voice.

"Thank you," Blaine answered, curiously looking around. The big open area was now divided and the curtains that used to separate the different rooms was replaced with actual walls "This looks amazing, Kurt," he said.

"Thanks..., we made a few changes. Ally's boyfriend is a carpenter, so he and my dad did this in a week." Kurt grabbed Blaine's arm. "Come on, I'll show you around." Kurt dragged him to the kitchen area. "This part of the loft is now a small apartment. There is a bedroom ahead of you; real door and everything ," Kurt added dramatically.

"How luxurious," Blaine said approving.

"I know! And then the living room is still open to the kitchen in order to accommodate the large kitchen table."

"Do you ever stay here for the night?"

"Not really. My apartment is only two blocks away on Jefferson Street, so if I work late I sleep there instead of going back to Manhattan."

"Benjamin has a place in Manhattan then?"

"Yes, I'm kind of all over the place; here, on Jefferson Street and on the Upper East Side."

Blaine didn't want to ask any further about that arrangement; choosing instead to follow Kurt to the other side of the loft. The two parts were divided by a low wall, which kept the area open.

"These are the desks where Ally and I are working. You will be very familiar with those three boards on the wall before you leave us today.

Blaine smiled. He already loved it here. Behind the boards he could see another room and a buzzing sound went on and off from in there. Kurt caught Blaine's curious stare.

"Come meet Ally," he said with a wink and pushed the door wide open. Shelves upon shelves with fabrics in all colors were the first things to catch Blaine's eyes. A huge, tall table was centered in the middle of the room and in one corner, next to a mannequin, a girl with flaming red hair was bent over a sewing machine.

Her green eyes widened when she noticed them and she broke into a smile. "Oh, hi." She got up from her chair. "You must be Blaine," she said and ignored his stretched out hand, pulling him in for a hug instead.

He smiled into the red hair over her shoulder. "Yes, I'm Blaine, and I'm pretty sure you must be Ally."

"That I am," she said and saluted him with her right hand, making a funny face.

Blaine couldn't help laughing.

"You'll get used to her," Kurt said dryly, but with a caring tone in his voice.

Ally punched him on the shoulder. "Well, if you can handle me sweetie, I'm sure Blaine can, too."

Blaine liked her, right away. She reminded him a bit about Megan, even though Ally seemed bolder and more sure of herself. She wore a yellow ankle length dress that could have been from the sixties, but the way it was tailored to fit her body perfectly made it more classy.

"Can I just say that I listened to your song at least 50 times yesterday," she said, beaming.

"Wow, you must be tired of it by now," Blaine replied seriously. "I'm not sure 50 times is healthy."

"Nope, not tired... more like addicted. My body craves that song now."

"Ally, we don't want to scare him away before he's even started," Kurt whispered out loud as they all returned back to the office.

"I'll behave, I promise. So who's up for coffee?" Both boys raised their hands. "Alrighty then, coming right up," she said and swayed over to the kitchen. The smell of fresh brewed coffee soon filled the room and the easy going banter between Ally and Kurt made Blaine relax and feel at home.

Kurt led him over to the three big boards covered with what appeared to be a storyline for the play. "Okay, let me talk you through this," Kurt said and stepped closer to the third board. "It's still just major headlines, the rest of the story is in my head. But I know every detail and I'm writing like crazy these nights to push it forward."

Ally handed Blaine a cup of steaming coffee as he studied the board. "Is it okay if I take some pictures of the board, just to remember important things when I get home?"

Kurt hesitated, but then he nodded. "Sure, just don't let anyone see it."

"I won't," Blaine said quickly. "I promise."

Kurt smiled before he turned to the board again. "The play is called: "A Song for Cordelia". The title could be changed, but this is the one I'm most fond of. We have tried to create a universe rooted in a very fairytale kind of setup, so the storyline will be both metaphorical and mythical along the way. The story is centered around a young boy named Coalan, who is fairly poor and struggles to maintain life in the village he lives. One day he discovers a gift he has been blessed with, a voice given to him by the gods that is beyond beauty; a voice that can heal the brokenhearted, and let hope return in a dark situation for whoever listens to him.

The fairies of the forest and the goddesses of the sky sing his praises more than anyone. But the Evil Queen of the underworld, Morigan, hates every note that leaves his golden throat.

One day, Morigan sends her servant to the village to make Coalan an offer. If he promises not to sing anymore, she will give him fame and fortune; more than he could ever imagine. Coalan agrees to the deal, oblivious to the treasure he is trading away. Morigan keeps her promise and soon Coalan is the wealthiest man in the village and the entire fairytale world.

The fairies, however, grieve the loss of the golden voice, and they can only watch powerless as hearts are broken and people are left in despair, with no hope or healing in sight.

The fairy godmother, Sirona, along with her husband, Aidan, summons a council to discuss what to do. They decide that singing is a matter of the heart, and the solution to the problem must be found in Coalan's heart.

Their eyes fall upon an innocent girl wandering in the woods and they lead her to the village. She is lost and don't know where she belongs. Her name is Cordelia. Her long blond hair is tangled with rows of flowers; her eyes golden as the morning sun. The couple is destined to be and they fall deeply in love.

Morigan hates the new romance. It contains too much happiness for her liking, and with her servants of the underworld she lurks around in the village to strike Cordelia with a deadly disease. They succeed, despite the attempts from Sirona and Aidan to shield the girl, and she becomes very ill.

Coalan is out of his mind at the thought of losing the girl who holds his heart. There is not money enough in the world to save Cordelia and he can only watch in despair as the beautiful girl withers before him.

With his own heart broken, he cries out to a fate that denies him the one thing he loves more than anything. He breaks his promise to Morigan, and starts to sing. It's angry and stuttering at first because he hasn't sung for such a long time, but then his voice gains strength and the most beautiful song forms, coming from the depths of his soul. A song for Cordelia.

Before the song is over he is left in old ragged clothes and bare feet, but when Cordelia suddenly appears and runs to meet him, he realizes that his song has healed her from the deadly disease. Even the darkest of power could not hold her down when Coalan lifted his voice."

As Kurt was telling the story, he had come alive with a vibrancy that lit up the room, but now he looked at Blaine with a vulnerable expression in his blue eyes. It was like he had left his soul bare, and only waited for a verdict.

Blaine licked his lips, completely overwhelmed with the story that had unfolded before him. "Kurt, I don't even know what to say. This is just so amazingly beautiful. I really, really hope I can do it justice."

Kurt let out a big sigh, visibly relieved that Blaine loved it. "I'm sure you can, Blaine," he said softly. "I really am."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own the characters from Glee - but the musical is mine ;-)
> 
> As always, feel free to review and then I'll be back with chapter 5 this Sunday.
> 
> Love Melissa


	5. It's Not All About Jazz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now it's time to see Blaine's band in action!
> 
> "Sound Of Seduction" is actually the name of a Danish band that doesn't excist anymore so I have just borrowed the name.
> 
> Enjoy ;-)

Saturday nervousness and excitement made Blaine's body tingle all over. "The Cavazz" was the gig of their lives so far and he didn't want to blow it. Cooper's car was gassed up, the trailer was rented and everything packed by 3pm; it was safe to say they had plenty of time to spare.

Driving around in New York was nerve wracking compared to using the subway. Blaine had specifically asked for Josh to ride in the passenger's side. He was born and raised in New York and knew his way around Manhattan, so Blaine trusted him as a guide.

Matt and Megan were being utterly silly in the back of the car, but if that was their way of dealing with the stress it was alright. Everybody had family and friends stopping by tonight and Blaine was happy for his share of supporters.

Both Kurt and Ally had promised to be there and Kurt would drag Rachel along, more or less voluntarily.

Josh's voice was steady as he led Blaine through the heavy traffic jams. "Aren't you the least bit nervous about tonight?" Blaine asked and glanced at the young boy. "You're looking all calm and collected."

Josh looked befuddled, but then the corners of his mouth lifted to a smile. "No, I'm not nervous. I'm excited," he said.

"I don't know how you do that," Blaine uttered, eyes frantically glued to the vehicle in front of him.

"You always gets nervous before a performance, Blaine. It's kind of your thing."

"It's a thing?"

"Sure, but the minute you go on stage you forget all about it and then you bring the house down. That's your thing too, you see."

Blaine laughed out loud. "I feel so busted," he said. "But thanks for telling me."

"You're welcome," Josh replied confidently.

He was a funny kid, Josh, and sometimes it was obvious that he was younger than the rest of the band members, at other times, like now, he seemed to outsmart them all. Blaine was very pleased about having him in the band, and even more pleased about having Josh as a guide when he easily pulled up in front of "The Cavazz" in Soho.

It didn't look like much from the outside, but Blaine knew it was supposed to be small and intimate, so it fit his expectations perfectly. They were an hour early, but one of the waitresses let them in with a small shrug.

It really was a small place. Not more than 10 round tables on the main floor. The stage wasn't big either, which would be a challenge. But if they scooped the instruments closer together it might work. Blaine and Josh immediately mapped out where to put the drums so Josh should keep the best contact with Matt. It was some sort of mantra for Matt and Josh: a band is only as good as the connection between the drummer and the bass player.

Carrying the gear from the trailer to the stage was the hard part and everybody had to participate. Matt often ranted about how nice it would be to have a couple of roadies to boss around, and Blaine promised him they would hire some, once they were all rich and ridiculously famous.

With everything in place, the stage was jam packed. It wasn't raised from the ground with more than 12 inches, which meant Blaine could easily use the front of the main floor if things got too crowded on the stage.

The owner turned out to be a really nice, talkative, musician-to-the-bone kind of guy, who occasionally entered the stage if a jam session came up. He could play all sorts of instruments and he knew Megan's dad pretty well; at least enough to get all teary eyed when she introduced herself.

"How many people do you think will show up tonight?" Blaine asked curiously and evaluated the room. It would be an energy killer if the audience was limited to their family and friends only.

The owner, who now had introduced himself as Bill, put his hands in his pockets and squinted. "We have a lot of regulars, mainly musicians themselves, and they usually forget when it's non-jazz nights. So if you can make them stay, you'll have a good audience."

Blaine got pale. "How do we make jazz enthusiasts stay when we don't play jazz," he asked horrified.

Bill laughed and clasped Blaine's arm. "They can recognize a good performance when they hear it, and at the end of the day they just want to be entertained like the rest of us. Music is energy, and if your band has energy, they'll stay."

"Jeez," Blaine moaned, "so if half of my audience is leaving after the first three songs then I'll know for sure that we suck."

The spark in Bill's eyes was undeniable and Blaine's jittery movements seemed to amuse him. "Oh, if you suck they won't even stay for three songs."

Blaine swallowed hard. This was becoming unbearable.

"Listen kiddo," Bill chuckled, "I'll behave, I promise. Now go up on stage and get a feel of the room, play something to ease your nerves. I'm sure you'll do great."

Blaine turned around muttering to himself. They had to do great, they had to do better than great. He just needed to focus and stop listening to all the stupid concerns invading his mind. A beep from his phone announced an incoming text and to his relief it was Kurt.

 

From Kurt

\- Can't wait to listen to you tonight. Are you ready to do your magic.

 

Blaine licked his lips. Kurt, he could talk to Kurt. He would know how to calm him down, like he used to. He would know what to say and call bullshit on the stupidity.

 

From Blaine

\- Can I call you? I'm at loss here!

 

Kurt called back right away. "Hey, are you alright, Blaine?" he asked concerned.

"Kurt, I'm sorry for being ridiculous. I'm okay, I'm just really nervous about tonight. And I don't know why."

"You don't have to be, you're a knockout performer," Kurt tried.

"But this isn't McKinley, or Glee club, it isn't even college. This is New York, and what if the jazz regulars walk out on me before we've even played three songs. It is going to be so embarrassing and then no one will ever hire us again, and the band will be history, and I will be the one blowing it because I'm the lead, and everybody will blame me. And if it isn't the energy lacking, then it could be the lyrics, I could forget them, and, I mean in every decent music competition it would be an absolutely no-go to forget the lyrics. Simon Cowell wouldn't let me go through to the next round if that happened, and I just don't know what to do."

Kurt's voice was soft when he finally was given a chance to answer. "Blaine, listen to me. You are over thinking big time right now. That can make anybody a nervous wreck. It's true that this is a great opportunity, but it will not be your only opportunity. Tonight is about having fun and doing what you do best. You are alive when you're on a stage, you always have been. That's what made me fall in love with you in the first place. There is a chance that the room won't be jam-packed, so what? It's your responsibility to give it your all for those who show. As for Simon Cowell, screw him, Blaine, this is not a singing competition, this is hard core live music, that breathes and forms a life of its own. If you forget the lyrics I'm pretty sure you can come up with something in a heartbeat. You're a performer, Blaine, it's in your DNA, New York isn't going to change that."

Blaine let out an audible sigh that made Kurt chuckle. Blaine smiled into the phone, nothing could compare to the sound of Kurt laughing and it suddenly felt so good. "Thank you," he said relieved, "for picking me up here. I don't know why I'm freaking out, but I'm better now."

"Well it was a pleasure picking you up, Mr. Anderson," Kurt replied solemnly.

Blaine laughed now. "Just let me know if I can return the favor at some point."

"Oh, I'm sure there will be lots of opportunities for that," Kurt said drily. "I'm no picnic after all."

"Picnics are overrated anyway, that's okay," Blaine added.

The silence settled between them before Kurt broke it. "Um, do you want me to come early tonight, you know, to give you thumbs up or something like that. I mean, only if you want me to, or need it." The insecurity fluttered in the corners of Kurt's voice.

"Would you really do that?" Blaine asked and melted by the offer.

"Of course I would," Kurt said. "That's what friends are for, remember?"

"Yeah, it is. I just tend to forget that I have your friendship back. It's so new."

"I know; we have to remind each other then, because I'm not willing to lose it this time."

"Me neither," Blaine said, trying to ignore his pounding heart.

"Okay, then it's settled," Kurt said firmly. "I'll be there around 7."

"Thank you," Blaine sighed with a smile.

"You're welcome," Kurt said and finished the call.

Blaine pressed his lips together and nodded with amazement. So this was what it felt like to be friends with Kurt again. He could easily get used to that. He turned around and joined his band. "Are you guys ready to go through the set list?" he asked, and felt the energy run through his veins.

"We were born ready, Blaine," Matt said with a smug smile and played a riff on his bass.

\---------------------------------

Kurt was still clutching the phone in his hand when Benjamin came home.

"Hey, honey," Benjamin greeted and pressed his cold cheek against the palm of Kurt's hand. "Are you getting work done?" he asked and looked at the open laptop in front of Kurt.

"Yes," Kurt said with a rough voice. "I'm going out tonight, so I better get something done before I leave."

"Do you have to go?" Benjamin asked and continued into the master bedroom. Kurt could hear the dresser open and Benjamin changing into something more comfortable. "Isn't it just a concert?"

Kurt felt the annoyance stir in his stomach. "I want to go," he said with measured calmness. "It's Blaine's band, and Ally and I have promised to come and support him."

Benjamin stood in the doorway now, pulling a sweater over his head. "You mean the composer guy?"

"Yes, the composer guy, whose name is Blaine," Kurt replied dryly.

"But you don't owe him anything, do you?" Benjamin entered slowly and hugged Kurt from behind. "He works for you, that's all, you don't have to run to every concert he is giving."

Kurt moved his head away. "But I want to. He's an amazing composer, so I don't see why he wouldn't throw a good concert." Kurt bit his lip. He really should come clean about how well he knew Blaine, but it was getting trickier by the day, and Benjamin probably would insist on coming if he knew the truth. It wasn't that Kurt didn't want him there, but if he should spend time with Blaine before the concert, he was not sure Benjamin would be all that understanding.

Benjamin patted his shoulder and went to the fridge. "You're too kind for your own good sometimes. Remember to keep aiming at the goal, and use your time wisely."

"I am using my time wisely," Kurt said quietly. He didn't have the energy to go there with Benjamin today. For Benjamin the balance on the bottom line was all that counted. You're never more worth than the result you can produce. Even though that might be the case in the real estate world, music and theater could never be forced, or molded into a measurable box like that.

His fiancé gave him a peck on the cheek. "Tell me if there is anything I can do for you."

"I will," Kurt promised, feeling guilty for being edgy. He gave Benjamin's hand a squeeze before he turned to the script on the computer.

Benjamin was a really sweet guy. He had swept Kurt off of his feet when they first met, at a point in Kurt's life where he really needed it more than anything. He was generous and attentive, and Kurt had never doubted his sincerity. But there were parts of Kurt's life Benjamin would never get to understand; the passion about music, theater and the art of performance. He would always come and watch whatever Kurt participated in, and he would tell him how great it was. But he didn't get the core of it all. It was what it was.

Kurt wrote for a couple of hours and got ready to leave with a satisfied feeling. They still didn't know if the theater group would pick up the play, or when, but he hoped they'd know soon enough. His eyes searched the shelves for the right outfit. It was definitely not a suit event, but he still preferred to look nice. He decided on a pair of tight denim, his killer black boots, a slim white t-shirt and his favorite green dress vest from Marc Jacobs. This would do. The eye catcher would be the boots and maybe his ass, and the eye candy would be, well his eyes, which always turned greener when he wore the vest.

It was not that he wanted to impress anybody. He'd already impressed the guy sitting in the living room, but that was no excuse for turning down gorgeous clothes that accentuated his assets.

He kissed Benjamin on his way out, promising not to return too late, because Benjamin's parents were coming for brunch the next day.

\-------------------------------------------------

"The Cavazz" was a nice and comfortable place, and Kurt had been here a couple of times. The stage was packed with instruments and a few people were already ordering at the bar. He looked around as Blaine suddenly popped out of a backstage door. His face broke into a huge smile when he spotted Kurt.

They hugged and Blaine held on for a little while. "Thanks for coming," Blaine said and made a nervous sigh as he let his eyes wander around in the room. "Not a lot of people so far," he said and licked his lips.

"They will come, don't worry," Kurt chuckled and trailed a soothing hand down his friends back.

"Come," Blaine said and nodded towards the door. "It's time for you to meet my band."

"Great."

When they entered the backstage room, energy was buzzing, and excitement filled the air. A red headed tall guy was the first one to notice Kurt and he smiled welcoming right away. "You must be Kurt," he said with a boyish smile and greeted him with a firm handshake.

"I am," Kurt confirmed with a crooked smile. "And you must be Matt."

Matt bowed with a goofy movement. "In person, indeed. It's so good you're here, Blaine, my man, is shitting his pants about this gig."

"I am not," Blaine said with an eye roll.

Matt blinked and Blaine shook his head, concealing a smile. Their close friendship was obvious. It felt good and well worn. Matt seemed just as funny and goofy as Blaine had described him.

Blaine grabbed Kurt's arm before Matt could say more embarrassing things and led him to the two other members of the band. "This is Megan," he said and introduced a pretty looking blonde girl with a soft hipster look. "She is killing on the piano," Blaine bragged and smiled gently.

"Don't talk me up big B," she said and scrunched her nose. "I need to prove my worth tonight." She smiled at Kurt and hugged him. "I think it's so crazy that you're writing a musical," she then said.

Kurt huffed out a laugh. "Me too, sometimes I wonder if it's too crazy. But I'm happy to have Blaine to keep me sane."

"Whoa, what a rhyme," Matt said in awe. "Blaine, you keep me sane" he sang out with a breathy voice.

"Shut up, Matt," Blaine said, as his cheeks gained color. He leaned into Kurt "Do you see what I'm up against here, on a daily basis?" he whispered.

Kurt shivered by the intimacy of Blaine's breath so close to his ear. "Yes, I see it," he said giddily.

"Oh, and this is Josh," Blaine continued and pointed to a skinny looking teenager, swallowing a donut in a hurry.

"I'm so sorry," Josh said apologetic, as he dried his fingers on a napkin. "I was hungry like shit." he cleaned up quickly and gave Kurt a high five.

"You must be the starved out drummer," Kurt said with a tilted head. It was easy to pick up on the vibe within the group and he decided to relax more.

Josh nailed Blaine with a killer face. Then he let loose and turned to Kurt again. "I guess I should be offended by that, but I'm not, cause it's the truth. My mom hopes it'll pass soon. She's complaining about me eating for three at the moment."

"Oh, it'll pass," Kurt assured. "In a couple of years, if you're lucky."

Josh's mouth dropped as the rest of the band laughed around him. "A couple of years," he muttered. "Poor mom."

Everybody turned back to the noisy energy after the introduction and Kurt could have Blaine on his own again. "So are you ready to perform?"

"I am," Blaine said, still looking worried like a little kid before a dare.

Kurt had to bite his lip not to laugh. Blaine was honest to god being ridiculously adorable now.

"Rehearsal and sound check went smoothly at least," Blaine continued, oblivious to Kurt's mind going crazy. "And we've got the thumbs up from the owner."

"Well, that's a good thing, right?" Kurt said encouraging. "Can I get you anything to drink?"

"Not now," Blaine answered and checked up on time, "but if you could have a cold beer ready when we're done, it would be amazing."

"I'll take care of that," Kurt said with a smile.

Then he started to talk to Blaine about random stuff to take his mind off of things. And it seemed to be the way to go, because very soon the troubled expression on Blaine's face was replaced by an open, caring smile. Twenty minutes before the concert Josh peeped out to the bar through the backstage door.

"Whoa," he said with raised eyebrows and a pleased tone. "It's getting really crowded out there."

Blaine seemed baffled. "It is?" he asked and stumbled out the door.

Kurt followed him. "You see," he said with a warm sensation in his heart and a hand on Blaine's waist. "It's going to be an amazing night."

"Okay," Blaine said determined. "I'm ready now. I can do this!"

"I'll go out and find Ally and Rachel, if that's okay," Kurt said and examined Blaine's face to make sure it was alright.

"Yeah, you just go," Blaine assured softly. "I'm good now."

They hugged one more time before Kurt walked further into the bar scouting for familiar faces.

Rachel was the first one he spotted. She was sitting at one of the tables in the back waving energetically at him, and with a few steps she reached him and squealed in his ear when they hugged. He had to blow some of her dark hair away from his face. Leave it to Rachel to make an entrance.

"Isn't this exciting?" she said with a wide lipstick red smile. "I can't wait to hear him sing after all these years."

Kurt pulled back from her hug. "Well, I'm glad you're more excited than when I called," he said mockingly.

"It's no laughing matter, Kurt Hummel, no matter what you think. I have to rest my voice after an exhausting rehearsal," she said with a serious tone. "But of course I wanted to see him." She hooked her arm around his elbow and led him back to their table. "So tell me, is he still as good looking?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "He is Rachel, but don't even go there," he warned.

She squeezed his arm with her free hand. "I'm not going anywhere, sweetie," she responded with a wink.

Kurt shook hands with Mark, Rachel's boyfriend, when they approached the table. Kurt liked him more and more as he got to know him. He was a handsome gentleman and suitable arm candy for Rachel. He worshiped the ground she walked on, but didn't let her get away with everything.

It could be serious between them, but with Rachel you never knew. She had her own demons to fight, just as Kurt had. They didn't see each other a lot, but very few people knew him like Rachel did. And they still kept things real with each other.

"So, you didn't bring Benjamin?" Mark asked with a kind smile as they all got seated.

"No." Kurt wavered for a second. "It's not really his style of music, so I gave him the night off."

A tall man now approached their table and when he broke into a huge grin Kurt immediately recognized him. "Cooper," he said and got up to give Blaine's brother a big hug.

"Good to see you, Kurt," Cooper said beaming and then he shook hands with Rachel and Mark. He found Kurt's eyes again. "It's so great that you guys are here to support him. I hope he is ready."

"He is," Kurt replied with flushed cheeks. "He was more hyped than nervous when I left backstage, so I'm sure he's going to kill it."

A relieved sigh escaped Cooper and a nice feeling stirred in Kurt. Cooper being nervous on Blaine's behalf was somewhat different and very sweet. "You don't have to worry about him. He will do amazing," Kurt reassured.

"He deserves this so much," Cooper said softly.

"Hey, you guys want to join us here?" Kurt asked and looked around for some more chairs. He spotted Ally and Fred coming through the door and waved them over.

"I actually have two of my co-workers with me," Cooper wavered. "Do you think there is room enough for all of us?"

"Sure," Kurt said. "We'll make room! Go get your friends and then I'll fetch some extra chairs."

Five minutes later they were all seated around the same table. Kurt, Rachel, Mark, Ally, Fred, Cooper and his coworkers, who turned out to be two beautiful girls named Katie and Marie. Kurt wondered which of them had Cooper's interest, and after a while he was going for the dark haired Katie. Maybe it was one of those non-dates where Marie was invited as a buffer.

The conversation soon waved back and forth as everybody was getting to know each other. Mark and Fred seemed to get along great. Rachel was shining in Cooper's presence and she soon impressed Katie and Marie as well. Ally and Kurt tried to avoid talking about work, but they soon gave up. The musical was something they breathed, and it was hard to stop breathing, even for a night.

At 8 o'clock the main floor was packed and five minutes later, a middle aged guy entered the stage to introduce the band. Kurt had a fluttering feeling in his stomach and out of the corners of his eyes he saw Cooper twitching in his chair as well.

"We had originally booked another band for tonight, but they had to cancel a week ago," the man stated from the stage. "Luckily for us the substitutes are more than filling their shoes!"

People started clapping and whistling.

"So tonight, I'll bring you: Sound of Seduction." The man belted it out like they were at a boxing arena, and everybody applauded as the band entered the stage.

Megan, Josh and Matt went for their instruments and Blaine grabbed a mic, turning his back to the audience. He had changed clothes and was now all in black, wearing tight jeans and a slim t-shirt.

Kurt blinked a couple of times; why did he have to look so drop dead gorgeous? Megan hit a couple of gospel chords with the coolest organ sound ever, while the rest of the band backed her up. Blaine lifted his head and turned it to the side as he started improvising with a "Yeeeaaah". His profile was mapped out in the light from behind, and Kurt's heart made an involuntarily leap by the sight.

Then Blaine turned around and cued the band to an off-beat up-tempo feel with the first line.

 

You know you make me wanna'

Shout - Kick my heels up and

Shout - Throw my hands up and

Shout- Throw my head back and

Shout - Come on now

Shout- Don't forget to say you will

Don't forget to say yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

 

The music was groovy and infectious, and Blaine was dancing around, enjoying himself. Megan backed him up vocally. Her voice had a crispy tone that matched Blaine's voice really well, and their connection on stage was powerful as they played off of each other.

Kurt couldn't take his eyes off of Blaine. There was not a trace of nerves or insecurity left. He owned the stage and radiated energy to his fingertips. The golden eyes shined in the spotlight and his smile could have made the sun look pale.

 

Say you will - Say it right now, baby

Say you will - Come on, come on

Say you will - Say that you

 

The audience cheered loudly and the vibe in the room grew. Cooper was standing now, too proud to sit down.

Blaine locked eyes with Kurt for a moment and maintained the contact.

 

Say that you love me

Say that you need me

Say that you want me

You wanna please me

 

Kurt held his breath and felt the earth move underneath him. "I can't believe you just did that," he muttered. Then he emptied his beer with determination and got up next to Cooper. He let the music get to him, bringing him back to a time that was less troubled. He let the steadfast beat release whatever tension he had been carrying and started dancing without losing Blaine from his sight.

 

Say - Come on now

Say – come on now

Say – come on now

I still remember

 

When you use to be nine-years-old

I was a fool for you

From the bottom of my soul

Yeah, yeah

Now that you're grown up

And old enough to know (yeah, yeah)

You wanna leave me

You wanna let me go

 

Everybody around their table was dancing now. Rachel twirled her way over to Kurt and leaned closer to him. "He is amazing," she shouted with a laugh. "And I think he has learned some new moves." She waggled her eyebrows at him.

Kurt gave her a big grin in return, but refused to comment on the remark. She was right though. Blaine had been an amazing performer and dancer in high school, but now he was ridiculously good.

Megan cued the band to a half time feel on the beat, and the song changed to a heavy blues rhythm. Megan and Blaine took turns now, battling on impro.

 

I want you to know

I said I want you to know right now

You've been good to me, baby

Better than I've been to myself (Hey, hey)

And you ever leave me

I don't want nobody else (Hey, hey)

I said I want you to know

I said I want you to know right now

 

Rachel and Kurt developed their own choreography, picking up some steps from NYADA as the band was cued back to the fast off-beat

 

You know you make me wanna

Shout - Yeah, yeah

Shout - Yeah, yeah, right

Shout - All right

Shout - Come on now

Shout - Yeah, yeah, yeah

Shout - Come on now, hey, hey

Shout - Alright now, yeah, yeah

 

Megan cued a break and let Blaine make some crazy runs and improvisation.

 

Now wait a minute

I feel alright

Now that I've got my man

I feel, hey, alright

You've been so good to me

 

With the response from the audience after each line Blaine was belting out, it was like the song started to breathe, taking the shape of a conversation; questions and answers.

Back to up-tempo.

 

Well, you know you make me wanna'

Shout - Lift my head up

Shout - Throw my hands back

Shout - Come on now

Shout - Come on now

Shout - Come on now

Shout - Come on now

Shout - Take it easy

Shout - Take it easy

Shout - Take it easy

Shout - Take it easy

A little bit softer now

A little bit softer now

A little bit softer now

A little bit softer now

 

The band took the volume down bit by bit until Blaine was sitting on the stage and the music was stripped down to nothing but the bass doing soft riffs. Josh got up from his chair behind the drums and joined Blaine on the stage with a bottle of water. Blaine and Megan took turns singing, and when Blaine wasn't singing Josh put the bottle to Blaine's lips. They were putting on a show and the audience loved it.

 

A little bit louder now

A little bit louder now

A little bit louder now

A little bit louder now

 

Blaine got up again and Megan built up the band from the bottom one more time until they hit max.

 

Jump, jump, jump, jumping up

Jump, jump, jump, jumping up

Jump, jump, jump, jumping up

Jump, jump, jump, jumping up

SHOUT - yeeeaaaah.

 

Blaine's crispy voice made a blues run to make the finale just as spectacular as the song.

Everybody was going crazy now, ready for the next song and the band didn't miss a beat as they continued. Their repertoire was a well composed mix of rock classics and top forties from Madonna, Queen and Michael Jackson, to Bruno Mars, Katy Perry and Pink.

At some point the tempo was taken down to a ballade-feel and Blaine performed "That's not who I am". Ally grabbed Kurt's hand; a gentle smile playing around her lips. Kurt squeezed her back and lingered in the sight of Blaine behind the piano, singing his heart out.

 

Twitches and turn and forever burn

the bridges that use to make me feel safe

I do not wanna stay when my heart leaps away

telling me I ought to be another place

 

This is not who I am

There is more to me

than every mistake and who I use to be.

Don't say I'm wrong, or missing out

cause I'm getting there

I'm done being scared

 

Kurt found himself in a strange reflective mood as the lyrics twirled around in his thoughts. It summoned up a lot of the feelings he'd had for a long time about not being complete as a person yet. But maybe getting there through all the turmoils and struggles life was shoving his way was something too.

If he stopped being scared.

He didn't always know what scared him or what made him feel incomplete, he just knew that it was time to be more honest about some of his choices in life.

He went to the bar and ordered two perfectly chilled beers as the band was wrapping up with one last song, and then he returned to the table waiting for Blaine to join them. More and more people had found their way to "The Cavazz" as the night had moved on, and it took Blaine a decent amount of time to make it to the table with all his friends. Everybody wanted to talk to him and the band, thanking for the concert, and encouraging him.

When he finally made it to the seat next to Kurt he looked grateful at the beer and mouthed a thank you through all the noise around them. Cooper was bursting of pride as he formally introduced Katie and Marie to Blaine, and Rachel was all over the place praising the performance. Apparently she had forgotten about resting her voice and gushed about how bad she wanted to sing a duet with Blaine.

Kurt watched the scene, amused and happy on Blaine's behalf. He wouldn't have missed this for the world and still he couldn't shake a guilty feeling sneaking up on him. Maybe he should have brought Benjamin after all, not that he'd be that interested, but this almost felt like sneaking around and having fun without him. He decided to make it up to Benjamin tomorrow and be the perfect boyfriend when the in-laws were coming.

Blaine pushed him out of his spiral of thoughts with a nudge on his shoulder.

"What did you think about the performance?" he asked, still flustered and warm.

Kurt smiled. Only Blaine could do something like this; make a hell of a show and then still need Kurt's opinion and approval. "It was incredible, Blaine," he answered softly and leaned closer. "I'm really proud of you."

A radiant smile spread across Blaine's face before he turned to the rest of their friends again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you Wednesday
> 
> Love Melissa


	6. Someone You Have To Let In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for really beautiful and encouraging reviews both on FF and A03.
> 
> Now it's time to go a little deeper!
> 
> Hope you will enjoy ;-)

It was close to Thanksgiving when Blaine came around with the first couple of songs, and both Kurt and Ally was thrilled about the outcome. The opening number with all the citizens in the village, had a gospel feel that would work perfectly for a lot of voices and the commotion of the scene. The second song was a somewhat funny tune where Coalan realizes he can sing.

As soon as the songs were recorded Kurt mailed an appetizer to the "Pantheon Independent Theater Group" together with a summary of the storyline and a couple of Ally's drawings. The leader of the group, Michael, was positive, but couldn't say when they would have time in their jam-packed schedule to pick it up, or if they were to pick it up at all.

Kurt had hoped for more, but they just had to continue regardless of what was to happen.

There were bumps on the road, and at times the process was tiring. The writing didn't go as smoothly as Kurt wanted it to and making the dialogue and the songs fit perfectly together was a lot of hard work. For Kurt and Ally the play was their main focus, but Blaine couldn't afford that kind of luxury. After the concert at "The Cavazz", "Sound of Seduction" was booked on a regular basis. At the same time Blaine had become a popular teacher at the music school as well, so making a work schedule that could push the process forward was a challenge.

Christmas came as a much needed break for Kurt. For Blaine it was something to survive. He and Cooper went to Westerville to visit their parents about twice a year and every time Blaine had to shake off the feeling of awkwardness and not belonging at all when he left what once was his home. He didn't really argue with his parents anymore, it would be a lost cause no matter what, and he didn't feel the need to either. Everybody was polite, and suitable issues were discussed around the dinner table. But that was it.

Mid January Kurt struggled severly with lack of motivation. In his darkest hours he doubted that "A Song for Cordelia" would ever hit a stage anywhere. He was grumpy and tense, which Benjamin called him out on a couple of times, but it was hard to turn it around.

January the 28th a phone call finally changed everything. The Pantheon Theater Group suddenly faced some unexpected legal issues about a play opening in May. They had been forced to drop it with a very short notice. Michael had a plan B, but if "By Blackbird" could finish up the musical within two months the group would consider picking it up for rehearsals in April.

It was a crazy time frame, but Kurt, Ally and Blaine agreed to go for it.

Kurt wrote day and night. When he didn't write he'd spend all his time with Blaine trying to push the songs forward.

By mid february, right after a stressed out Valentines Day with Benjamin, Kurt knew he was pushing himself way too hard. But when people implied it, or whined about it, it really annoyed him. Didn't anybody understand how important this was to him? He was on a deadline and he expected his friends and his fiancé to respect that.

Ally tried to reach him from time to time, but she knew him well enough to back down when the battle was lost. She had enough on her plate anyway with all the costumes.

Rachel was whining the most, but if anybody shut friends out when she was busy it was her! Kurt decided not to give her the time of day.

Benjamin was another matter. They both had busy times once in awhile, and they had agreed on not getting in each other's way when things were heated. But Kurt didn't think Benjamin kept his end of the bargain.

So they fought a bit too much. Benjamin was mainly complaining about Kurt spending too many nights in his apartment on Jefferson Street in Bushwick, and that they still hadn't set a date for the wedding. Kurt, for his part, couldn't believe Benjamin chose now, of all times, to pressure him about the wedding; and when he slept in his own apartment it wasn't any different than when Benjamin was traveling, nursing his connections in Dubai.

It was ridiculous to go to Benjamin's apartment, in the middle of the night, just to get up again a few hours later and travel back to Bushwick. It didn't make sense, and especially not with the limited time he had on his hand right now.

When it came to Blaine things were even more complicated. Kurt loved the songs he composed and it impressed him how easily Blaine had captured the nature and the flow of the play, but the process over all was too slow.

Sometimes it was nothing but small alteration, other times Kurt had so many details in his head that he never really communicated, which made it hard for Blaine to hit it spot on. The tension between them grew and Kurt couldn't really blame Blaine, even though he once in awhile made it look that way.

With the alterations and their schedules shifting, each song took too long to finish according to the deadline, and it decreased Kurt's time to write.

On a day with the rain pouring outside the conflict between them culminated. Later Kurt blamed his bad mood on the rain, but that was nothing but a pathetic excuse after all. Blaine had been working on the song Cornelia was supposed to sing when she realizes how ill she is. Kurt loved the lyrics, but the chorus was kind of heavy and melancholy. He knew right away it wouldn't fit the set-up, or what he wanted with the scene.

"I don't get it," Blaine said with a frown. "Cordelia is singing a song about something that destroys her happiness and is set to kill her; and you say the melody is too sad?"

Kurt's head was buzzing with unfinished sentences, things he was supposed to have written already, and ideas that was slipping away. Insecurity seeped through the cracks of his exhaustion. He rubbed his temples and felt irritated. "You just have to trust me on this one, Blaine. I know what I want with this particular scene, and right after Coalan's song for Cordelia, this is the most important."

"I don't know what you want from me, Kurt," Blaine said fuming. "This song has taken me the longest, and it feels so complete to me. It wouldn't make sense to break it up and put something cheerful in there. It just doesn't make sense!"

Kurt was silent for a moment, trying to control the situation. "You work for me and Ally," he said, already hating where this was going; but all his filters were gone by now. "It is a task you are supposed to fulfill, and if I say it's too gloomy you have to believe me. It's the only way I can do it."

Blaine looked at him with disbelief as his eyes turned black.

Kurt sighed, and tried to cool down for a second before he continued. "Look, this play is my "baby", this is my future and it contains everything I dream about for myself. I have been working so hard to come this far. The storyline has been a part of me for the last two years, and I cannot compromise, I just can't."

Blaine pressed his lips hard together. "I don't ask you to compromise, I only ask you to explain this to me. Tell me why a song about a deadly disease can be too gloomy. It's not a comedy, it's drama, right? You asked for big obnoxious ballads, and I'm giving you exactly that with this song. If there are details I don't know about, then tell me. You never give me more than a couple of lines to work with, and the fact that you have everything figured out in your head doesn't rub off on me. If I am supposed to get it right faster, I need those details, I need to know what you have planned out for the scene. I need to know about the costumes, and the dance. Right now we are nothing but three individuals working in our separate worlds, magically hoping for everything to blend together at the end and look nice."

Kurt snapped. "That is not fair, Blaine. Don't you see how hard I work to get everything written down? I barely sleep, I haven't seen Benjamin for days and the song writing is taking too much of my time. And don't you dare say I need to relax or need to sleep, because keeping a deadline is not about resting or sleeping. If we don't make it, it could take a year before the theater group can pick up the play; and I'm not waiting a year, I've waited long enough as it is!"

Blaine resigned and the hurt in his eyes was heartbreaking. "Kurt, I ... um, I'm leaving for today. I need to clear my head and take a break. I will get back with a new song for Cordelia, but I think I have to let it be for a couple of days."

"Blaine, please ..."

"I'll see you tomorrow, Kurt."

When the door closed behind Blaine, Kurt sat down with a bump. This was ridiculous. How could he have been so stupid, taking all his stress out on Blaine?

The rain strumming on the window in the next room reached Kurt's ear.

He hated rain.

The urge to call Blaine, apologize, and make him come back was strong, but Kurt knew he had to do better than that. He also knew exactly what to do, so it wasn't that hard after all.

_________________________________________________________________________________ 

Blaine strode down the pavement without noticing anyone around him.

He was mad.

He was not hurt, which he normally would be in circumstances like this, but this time he was just plain mad. He could change that song in a heartbeat, and he didn't feel professionally offended or anything, but if Kurt didn't want to provide the information he needed to get it right, it was pointless.

He put up his collar, ducking his head in the cold February rain as he slowed down his pace. He suddenly had a lot of time on his hands. It was 10 now and he didn't have his first piano lesson until 2. If he hurried up he could hit the gym and work out some of his frustrations.

He took the stairs down to the subway two at a time and caught the train last minute. Then he checked his phone before sitting down. Nothing from Kurt. Maybe they both needed to cool off for awhile.

Blaine looked out the window as the train left the station. People change; life changes them with what it has to offer or what it puts them through. There was a time where Blaine would have sucked this up and tried to make the best of it. But it wasn't who he was anymore. He needed to breathe and to be honest about his feelings.

He had always thought about his relationship with Kurt as strong and something special when they had been together; and it had been. They had shared so many "firsts" with each other. They had been passionate together and still grounded. Kurt had been his rock, the one he could talk to about everything. But when things had been really rough, they had slipped. Blaine would like to think they had been honest with each other. Kurt had always been honest with him, that's what he would like to think. But maybe it hadn't worked the other way around.

Blaine let the movement of the train calm him down. Back then he had always bottled things up to spare Kurt's feelings, because he thought that's what love was all about; not being selfish and supporting your loved one no matter what. He still believed in that take on love, but he had also learned that he could not let himself be suffocated in a relationship. He could not let go of himself and his own dreams.

As for Kurt, and the friendship they tried to reestablish along with figuring out how to work together, he had to be clear about what he wanted. They had to find a new set of rules in order not fall back to old interactions.

He stepped out of the train with thoughts just as tangled as when he left Bushwick. He walked with a fast pace to the apartment and let himself in. Cooper wasn't home and it was tempting to stay here and crash for a couple of hours, but he knew it wouldn't improve his mood as much as a work out would. He grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a tank top and packed his bag with towels and a set of clean clothes.

He still hadn't heard anything from Kurt and decided to stop checking his phone every other minute. There was a message from Sam though on his voice mail, and even though the silly boy made him laugh with his latest impression of Obama saying that he should call back later, he decided to wait until after the gym.

It was freeing and liberating to let the muscles work until they were aching with pain. It switched off everything else in his mind and he rarely had a thought left in his brain when he was working out. But his subconscious still seemed to release some information during a blank mindset that made him feel more on top of things when he was done. He paced around sweating and panting, finishing the bottle of water from his bag.

He needed Kurt as a friend. More than anything he needed that. He couldn't afford to lose him once more. They had to work this out.

He jumped up on one of the exercise bikes and kept a steady rhythm. He would have to take a closer look on Cordelia's song again, and even though he had told Kurt that it would take a couple of days, he knew he couldn't let it be for that long.

He picked up the pace on the bike and went blank again, only hearing his heartbeat and his breath that found a steady fast rhythm. He kept going until he legs threatened to stop working. Then he slowed down and took control of his breath again. It had been a smart decision to come here, he could feel it in every sore muscle.

They would work this out, but Kurt had to make the first move. He could wait this out and still not let him off the hook.

The shower made him feel alive and when he once more was met with the busy streets of Manhattan he felt the bounce in his steps again.

Blaine had four students that afternoon. Two of them never really bothered to practice at home. He would have to get a hold on their parents. They would never survive the real music program if they didn't step it up. The other two were some of his favorites. He had grown particularly fond an 8 year old little shy boy named Kevin. He never said much and Blaine could feel how awkward the little boy accepted social interaction; but every time Kevin started to play, his demeanor instantly changed. The little boy would forget about any insecurity he might contain and pour his heart out in the music. If Blaine understood anything, it was that. Kevin was talented, and Blaine knew he soon would have to pass him on to the program, but he had promised himself not to let go of his student entirely.

This was only the fourth time they were together, and Blaine had tried to keep the socializing to a minimum not wanting to demand too many things of Kevin. But today he could feel a new energy between them and he decided to push things a bit further.

Kevin had played a perfect version of Chopin's Opus 64, nr. 2 and looked at Blaine with big curious eyes, clearly waiting in anticipation for the verdict.

Blaine pushed his reading glasses down to the tip of his nose and met the trusting stare with a surprised expression. Then he changed his voice slightly. "Have you been practicing day and night young Master Kevin?"

The spark in the boys eyes were unmistakable. "No," he answered with a little giggle. "Only half an hour a day, like I'm supposed to."

Blaine frowned and forgot about the funny voice. "You've seriously just practiced half an hour a day to play this good?"

"Yes, sir," Kevin confirmed with a shy smile.

"You are good, Master Kevin," Blaine continued, "good indeed."

"Why thank you sir," the little boy said beaming.

Blaine looked at him all amused. "Um, what are we here, Kevin?"

"I'm the son of a British landlord hoping to be a pirate one day and you are my financial advisor I suppose. I think we live around the 17th century."

"British, huh? I've always wanted to be a British financial advisor to some extent."

"It's cool, right?"

"You know, maybe we could sneak in a bit of pirate music in your repertoire."

"What do you mean?"

"You could play the theme song from Pirate's Of The Caribbean."

"Instead of Chopin?"

"Well, Chopin is one jealous bloke, I'll give you that much. So you can still play Chopin for half an hour a day, but then you can take ten minutes of Pirate music on top of that."

"I can do that!"

"Consider it a deal then, Master Kevin. I will bring the sheets next time and you will bring your killer piano hands."

When Blaine later was cleaning up the room before he left, the fight with Kurt seemed far away. He had never imagined that it would be so funny to give piano lessons. Kevin had seriously made his day.

As he walked back home to the apartment he decided to call Sam.

"Hello there, Blainers." Sam sounded happy

"Sam, my man. Did you leave a message on my voice mail, or was it Obama?"

"I'm sure it must have been Obama. Since he is now the "former" President of the US, he's got a lot of time on his hands."

"Goofball! How's LA so far?"

"Hot, hot, hot. It's not like Ohio in the winter that's for sure."

"Did you get a job, Sunny boy?"

"No, but I will, anytime soon. I can feel it in my beautiful bone structure."

"You know you have a job here in New York anytime you want, right?"

"I'm not joining your band, Blaine, unless you all move to LA."

"What does LA have that New York can't give you?" Blaine asked suspicious.

Sam sighed. "Mercedes Jones."

Blaine frowned. "Wait, is that what your LA dream is all about?"

"No."

"Sam!"

"Okay, it's part of it."

"Are you guys dating?"

"No, no. We're just, you know hanging out and stuff."

"And stuff?"

"Not that kind of stuff, Anderson."

"I'm just asking."

"It sounds like you're on the top of your game. How's the musical project going?" Sam asked, clearly eager to change the subject.

"Um, it's a bit rough at the moment. Kurt and I had a fight this morning," Blaine answered honest.

"About what?"

"Work stuff."

"Just work stuff."

"I don't know, Sam. I guess I could need your advice on the issue."

"God no, please ask someone else. I give terrible relationship advice."

"Well it's not about relationships. It's about friendship, and that you do very well, Evans."

"Can't you just call Obama?" Sam begged.

"I'm not letting you off here, Sam."

"Okay, spill it."

Blaine closed his eyes and focused. "Well, Kurt and I have this great opportunity to get our friendship back and to do a musical together, but it's like everything we've been through keeps weighing us down. I wrote this song that Kurt meant was wrong. And that was totally okay. I don't expect him to applaud every little note I write. But he was just sort of dictating instead of explaining properly what he wanted, and that triggered some old stuff between us. I will not budge just to get peace. I want us to talk together and figure things out along the way. But it's like he doesn't let me in. He expects me to know what he thinks and how he feels without telling me.

"Blaine, all that sounds an awful lot like relationship issues, and not just about friendship."

"I don't know Sam. I really need to talk to him about what happened between us when we broke up. I don't know if our friendship will work if we don't once and for all clear the air. But he won't, you know. He just wants to forget and move on, and I'm not sure I can do that."

"You can never force him, Blaine. But you can always tell him how you feel. Have you told him all this?"

"No, because I've only just realized it myself, right now."

"Wow, I'm good at this shit, if all it takes is you ranting on the other end of the line."

"That wasn't ranting, stupid," Blaine laughed. "It was serious business, and of course you're good at it. I told you so!"

"Maybe I should be a psychiatrist. I mean, how hard can it be. I just listen to other people's rants and then I comfort them with my Obama voice. You know, father of the Nation and shit, and their problems are solved."

"Maybe you should solve your own problems first, Sam Evans," Blaine laughed.

"I'm working on it, mom. I have three job interviews tomorrow."

"Why didn't you say that right away?"

"Because you were ranting."

"You know, I will leave you dried up in the LA sun. But please give me a call as soon as you've got a job, right?"

"Sure thing, take care Blainers."

"Likewise."

Blaine put his phone back in his pocket. He usually ran up the stairs to the apartment just to keep his blood rolling, but the heavy work out had taken its toll on him. He was really tired now he came to think of it. He would cook dinner for Cooper, maybe crash to a couple of stupid TV shows and then hit the sack early.

____________________________________________________________________________ 

After cooking dinner Blaine couldn't get rid of the fried smell in his clothes, and decided that a quick shower would do him good before he went to bed. He had just gotten dressed when somebody knocked on their door. It was only 8pm, but they didn't expect any company. He waited for Cooper to get the door as he tried to control his hair with the right amount of hair gel. Cooper's face popped into his room, his cell phone pressed against his ear. He was clearly listening intensely to whoever was on the other end of the line.

Blaine nodded and hurried out to open.

It was Kurt; tired looking, but with a soft smile on his lips.

"Hi, Kurt," Blaine said surprised. "I didn't know you would drop by."

Kurt bit his lip. "No, I guess I should have called," he trailed off.

"You want to come inside?"

"I was actually hoping I could take you out instead. I have something I would like to show you."

Blaine could literally hear his bed whisper sweet words in his ears. "Can't it wait until tomorrow? I was kind of hoping to get to bed early for once."

"Please, Blaine," Kurt said and leaned against the doorframe. It would mean the world to me and I'm just chasing some peace of mind that's all. I promise it won't take long."

Blaine's heart melted by the sight of the exhausted man. "Of course," he said softly. "Let me just get my coat."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's a shitty place to stop, but good stuff is coming up next chapter - I promise ;-)
> 
> Love Melissa


	7. To Forgive And Forget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter where Kurt is ready to talk and to listen ;-)
> 
> Hope you will enjoy...

As soon as they were down on the street Kurt turned around and faced Blaine with a nervous stare. "Blaine, can I just say that I'm so sorry for the way I acted this morning. It was stupid, I was tired and I was being highly unfair to you. Can you forgive me?"

Blaine parted his lips and captured the ocean blue eyes with a mild expression. Kurt looked cute and serious. Blaine couldn't possibly stay mad at him. "Of course I can," he answered with a smile, tilting his head. "You just really had me worried there. You looked beyond exhausted. You still do actually."

Kurt's shoulders eased down and a spark stirred somewhere beneath his tired expression. "I am completely wasted," he chuckled with relief, "and I promise to go get some sleep and make myself nice to hang out with again." He hesitated before he locked eyes with Blaine. "But I needed to know that you and I were okay first."

Blaine's heart soared by the simple words. They were definitely on the same page now, that was all that mattered. "We're okay, I promise," he said and licked his lips. He got lost in the moment and smiled shyly when Kurt skimmed his hand down Blaine's arm.

"Come, let's go," Kurt said with a content smile. "We have things to do."

"Where are you taking me exactly?" Blaine asked as Kurt tucked his hand in the crook of Blaine's elbow. They both smiled. It felt familiar and comfortable.

"We are heading for the loft. I have something I want to give you, something I want to show you, and an offer to make you," Kurt said mysteriously.

Blaine nodded and laughed. "Oh, you're lurking me back to work."

Kurt nudged him with his shoulder. "No, tonight is not about work, it's about starting over."

By the time they reached the subway, the conversation between them flowed effortlessly again.

Kurt locked them into the dark loft and switched the light on. It was awfully quiet here without Ally's humming sewing machine.

Kurt took Blaine's coat and wrapped it over a chair together with his own. Then he turned to his desk and handed Blaine a black folder, with an excited look on his face. Blaine received it curiously and saw his name printed on the front page with beautiful silver letters. Further down, written in the same silver letters, was the title of the play: A Song For Cordelia.

"What is this?" Blaine asked, and trailed his fingertips over the beautiful print.

"It's the script," Kurt said; "as much as I have by now, which isn't enough. The rest of it is notes and brainstorms put in chronicle order. Tomorrow we can have Ally put copies of all the finished sketches in there too."

Blaine browsed through the pages, eyes catching sentences, setup descriptions and dialogues. "This is … amazing, Kurt," he breathed out. "When did you do all this?"

Kurt moved closer. "I started right after you left, when I realized how stupid I had been. Then I printed out everything I had, cleaned up my notes, and added things I could remember so far. From now on everytime I finish a scene or have additional notes you can put it in the folder. If I'm lucky it will even end up being a real script." The last remark was delivered with a sarcastic tone of voice.

Blaine snorted; Kurt really seemed to be alright. "Well at least the front page is beautiful," Blaine said and raised his eyebrows. "Did you make these silver letters yourself?"

Kurt raised his chin, staring at Blaine in disbelief. "Did I decorate Pavarotti's casket myself?"

Blaine bit his lip, holding back a smile. "That you did," he said softly.

They kept eye contact for a little too long.

Kurt blushed and chuckled. "Um, I don't think we should go there."

"No, God, no," Blaine said and folded his arms around the script. It got silent between them, but Kurt seemed to relax.

"Now to the offer," he then said, looking more serious again. "I have been talking to Ally and we have both agreed on this. We want you to be a partner in "By Blackbird", on the same terms as us. You will have a say in every decision and it will be an equal ownership between the three of us."

Blaine was ready to protest because it was too much and not what he had expected at all, but Kurt stopped him before he could say anything.

"Hear me out for a minute, then you can reject all you want when I'm done."

Blaine nodded, amused by Kurt's eagerness.

"We simply want to acknowledge how much you bring to the play and how you inspires us both. I was being the biggest asshole when I told you that you worked for me and just had to deliver a product, because that is so far from the truth that I could have punched myself."

Blaine took a chance and interrupted. "So the partnership wouldn't be about guilt?" he asked. "Because you don't owe me anything like that, Kurt. We're fine and I knew you were tired."

"No," Kurt answered quickly, "it's not about guilt. It's about your talent. You don't have to feel obligated to take the offer, and if you become a partner you're not tied down to participate in future projects. We just both appreciate your take on things and we would love to include you."

Blaine was moved, he really was. He had never considered it to be a possibility, but now it felt like a incredible sweet gesture.

"Your band will always come first, Blaine, we don't want it any other way; if that's what holds you back."

"There is nothing holding me back, Kurt," Blaine said with a rough voice. "I would love to be a partner."

A grin spread across Kurt's face. "Great," he said and fist pumped in the air. "Ally will be thrilled when I tell her."

Blaine laughed at the outburst and shook his head.

"Come," Kurt then said and reached out for Blaine's hand, "Finally for the thing I wanted to show you."

Blaine hesitantly let their fingers meet, his heart fluttering in the corner of his chest by the touch. Kurt squeezed gently and led him through Ally's sewing room into a very small room behind it that Blaine hadn't noticed before. When they entered, three different gowns on hangers caught his eyes immediately.

"This is Ally's pieces of art," Kurt stated and let go of Blaine's hand again. "And to be honest I feel a bit guilty about showing them to you without her being here. But one of the dresses belongs to Cordelia, and her dress is an important part of her story line."

Kurt pointed at one of the dresses and Blaine tried to take in all the details in the beautiful design at once.

The main fabric was white, laces, like the kinds you'd use for wedding gown. On top of the layered laces was, hand sewn, the most beautiful applications of light green chiffon leaves beaded together with applications of dusty light pink roses. Blaine touched the dress in awe with the tips of his fingers, put didn't say anything.

"I know," Kurt said. "Ally may wear a lot of orange and purple stuff on a regular basis, but what she can do with costumes is pure magic. Cordelia is an earthbound goddess; her name means water and flowers. She represents spring and new beginnings. When everything is dead and cold, she brings hope and second chances; even when there don't seem to be any. That's her job, that's her calling, which is why it's so unfair that she gets struck by a deadly disease.

The one representing hope, is left with no hope at all.

But Cordelia keeps doing her job. She has to be a bearer of spring until she dies and that's what creates all the contradictions about her song and her dress. The lyrics you wrote are so beautiful in their melancholy and they describe her inner feelings, the unfairness of her situation, but I need the contrast in the melody somewhere. Not as anything cheerful, it just has to contain hope in a hopeless situation."

"Of course," Blaine breathed out. "It's so beautiful, Kurt. I don't really know what to say right now."

"Cordelia's dress will contain the contrast as well," Kurt continued. "This is the basic dress, but there will be a black veil of silk or a cape attached somehow. It will not be visible at first, but as she dances it unfolds down her back and symbolizes how the disease takes over."

"Kurt, I'm redoing the entire song," Blaine erupted.

"No, no, you don't have to do that."

"Yes, because I can do better. With all this information, I can do way better."

"Sorry for not telling you from the start."

"Don't worry about it, Kurt. We are doing it now. This is going to be amazing." Blaine beamed at Kurt, but when he saw nothing but a half hearted smile being returned and defeat shining through the blue eyes, he realized something. "Have you been giving up on the deadline, Kurt?"

Kurt licked his lips and stalled a bit. "I don't see how I can make it to be honest. I can't live like this for two months, and you and Ally shouldn't have to put up with me being grumpy all the time; Benjamin neither for that matter."

Blaine leaned up against the wall and tilted his head. "You know, I actually thought about this when I was cooking dinner today. As long as you keep trying to do everything on your own, it will wear you down no matter how much time you're given. The way we work right now is inefficient. There is too much back and forth with the three of us working different hours."

"What do you suggest?" Kurt asked open mindedly.

"What if we locked ourselves up, you and me and Ally; here, let's say for five days? We can call it a boot camp. Then we take it scene by scene. You tell us everything about the setup and your thoughts about the storyline. When you start writing the scene and the dialogue I'll start working on the lyrics as well. Then we can coordinate everything immediately. Maybe put some dialogue in the middle of the song if it makes sense, or synchronize the dialogue and the lyrics in order to pursue a read thread. If I bring my digital piano I can compose right away. Ally can alter her sketches as we work and give me some input as well. Sometimes colors can help me decide on a certain chord in a song. After those five days we will all be so deeply rooted in the play that we can balance everything out perfectly."

Kurt looked at him with big eyes, holding his breath. It was hard to tell if he loved the idea or hated it, and simply was trying to find a way to let Blaine down gently.

"Would you really do that, Blaine?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Take all that time to help me out. What about your band and your students?"

"Well, I have been substituting for some of the other teachers when they were sick or couldn't make it, so the music school kind of owes me a couple of days off. As for the band, they can do without me for five days. It's no problem for them to practice on their own. I'll put Matt in charge." Blaine smiled confident. "Tell me what you think."

"I think it would be amazing." The light finally appeared in Kurt's beautiful eyes. "Do you think we could make the deadline anyway?"

"I think we can, and if things get too tight we'll bring in some more people. I'll have Matt help me arrange the music. He is amazing at that."

"I don't know how many people we can afford to pay for the job," Kurt said thoughtful.

"You said you had sponsors and fundings you seeked, right?"

"Yes, that's what makes the boat float right now, that's how we could hire you in the first place."

"We just have to get more sponsors, don't we?"

Kurt looked worried. "But I don't see how I can find the time for that."

Blaine became eager now. "But you shouldn't. You're the creative director, why not let someone else take care of the rest?"

"Who?"

Blaine shrugged. "I'll ask Coops. He would love to do it. Just think about it. With his big pasty smile and his undeniable charm, he would get sponsors in no time."

Kurt let a giggle slip. "He would just point at them or shout at them, right? Then they wouldn't dare not to sponsor."

Blaine dropped his head and laughed too. "Exactly, leave it to Cooper to be intense!"

They both looked at the dress again and new lines for the lyrics started to form in Blaine's imagination. He could do this, he could do it better than the first time. "Thank you for showing me all this, Kurt," he said. "It means a lot."

Kurt looked down and nodded with a shy smile.

Blaine rubbed his arm. "Right now I think you should go home and get some sleep though. You look exhausted," he said softly.

"Um ... I actually wanted to ask you if we could go to a bar and grab a beer or something," Kurt said squinting. "I know I kind of promised to get you come home at a decent hour, but ... I need to talk to you."

There was something raw and begging in his tone of voice and Blaine frowned, wondering what had happened. "It's not that I don't want to, Kurt," Blaine tried. "But I'll be here tomorrow too. You don't have to fight your way through the entire night."

Kurt raised his chin and looked up at the ceiling before he blinked hard. "I'm searching some peace for my soul, remember? And I will sleep so much better after we've talked."

Blaine nodded slowly, getting really worried. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I'm ready to listen, Blaine," Kurt said, eyes still wet in the corners. "I want to know the things you tried to tell me five years ago when we broke up, and I think I'm finally ready to hear what you have to say."

"Okay," Blaine said, a bit taken aback. So many thoughts ran through his head all at once, and a part of him suddenly resisted going there, not sure what they would find on the other side. But they needed this. Their friendship needed this and Blaine was not the one chickening out now. "Sure, Kurt," he said gently. "Let's just ... let's grab a beer."

They ended up in a small bar Kurt was familiar with, close to his apartment. It was a slow night in the middle of the week, but it was nice with a place that wasn't too crowded.

They ordered and sat down at a corner booth facing each other. Kurt seemed flustered and Blaine knew this would be hard on both of them. But talking is better than not talking and he wanted to encourage Kurt all he could.

Kurt was nursing his beer for a while before he finally met Blaine's eyes. "It's weird, because I've never had a problem about honesty. But listening to the truth about myself is a different matter though."

"Kurt, this is not about the truth, or right or wrong. It's about feelings, and they are what they are. They are sometimes unreasonable and far from logical, but they are still just as real. Unless they are put into words or action they are nothing but a mystery to the one not feeling them."

Kurt smiled a bit more confident. "You're right, and I'm ready." His blue eyes got wet again and Blaine couldn't stop himself for reaching out for Kurt's hand. Kurt took it and held on. "Please talk to me, Blaine."

Blaine cleared his throat, not sure where to start. But he decided to just go with the flow and say the things that came to him first. "Throughout your senior year, after I transferred to McKinley, I never once doubted that I wanted you to go to New York and follow your dreams," he started. "I had one main goal in my life; I wanted to support you all that I could, because I loved you. But I also realized, as the year passed by, that the separation between us might be much harder than I had anticipated. Sometimes I doubted that we would make it, and it tore me apart, because you were the love of my life."

Kurt rubbed his thumb over Blaine's knuckles, but didn't say anything.

"I tried to talk to you and tell you how I felt," Blaine continued. "But you were certain that we would make it, and I wanted to believe you so bad. But I was scared, Kurt.

When you didn't get into NYADA I was heartbroken because you were heartbroken, and at the same time I hoped that you would stay in Lima the rest of the year and wait for me. But having you around, in a place where you didn't belong anymore, with all of your talents on hold was worse than letting you go. It took me awhile to realize it, but when I did I had to help you make up your mind, and encourage you one more time.

At first it felt alright. I was so proud of you when you landed the internship at and I tried to busy myself with extra curricular activities." Blaine wavered. "But I missed you like crazy. I missed you physically in a way I hadn't anticipated and at the same time I felt you were slipping away from me, just as I had feared you would.

I tried to make it work, telling myself I was being stupid and selfish. When I made it to Class President and called to tell you, you didn't answer your phone and I couldn't reach you. And when you finally heard, it didn't seem to be that big of a deal compared to everything you were experiencing in New York.

And why would it be?

That night I realized how many things I had been doing for you. Not just about being class president, but in general. And the minute you were gone it all lost its meaning. Everything I had at McKinley was connected to you. The friends I had was your friends and every classroom, every rehearsal reminded me of you. I did a lot of things to get your approval, even though you would have given it for free.

I don't think I've ever felt so lost in my life before, and nobody seemed to understand. Sam he tried, he really did, and somewhere along the line I think Brittany went through a similar thing, but I still felt like I was fighting all alone.

I tried to tell you, but the words got stuck in my mouth and you were busy all the time."

Kurt nodded and dried a tear away from the corner of his eye with his free hand. Blaine took a deep breath before he continued. Ahead of him was the hardest part still to tell.

"Eli was just a random guy who befriended me on Facebook. I'm not sure how he got my name, but he started sending a lot of "encouraging" messages to me. At first I didn't think much about it, but then one afternoon, where you hadn't returned my calls it just snapped inside of me. I got this terrible, terrible idea that maybe you and I weren't meant to be after all. Maybe we weren't as strong together as we had thought all along. Maybe you would be nothing but my high school sweetheart, just a memory.

So I went...

I made the decision in a split second and took off. I went to his house, and everything was over and done within 20 minutes. Even before I left his house my whole world was tumbling down around me. I felt completely overwhelmed with guilt and one thought kept playing in my mind as a broken record. You and I were meant to be together, you were the only one for me, and I had just screwed it all up."

Blaine could feel the tears on his cheeks. At a moment like this the wounds were just as raw and exposed as the night it had all happened.

"I never considered not telling you. I knew I had to, which is why I made the surprise visit. To this day I regret however that I didn't make a surprise visit before I did something that stupid. If I had been honest with you, if I had told you how I really felt, and not just over the phone, I could have made you listen.

I fought so hard with the guilt in the months to pass and I felt like a horrible, horrible person. Sam was the one helping me to move on. That's why our friendship still exists I think."

Blaine met the blue eyes across the table and held on to Kurt's hand as if it was a rescue line to safety.

"Kurt, I know I have asked for forgiveness before, but I need to ask for it once more. Can you please forgive me for hurting you in the worst way possible?"

The tears were streaming down Kurt's face too and Blaine just wanted to hug him and tell him that everything was going to be alright.

"Yes," he breathed out and squeezed Blaine's hand. "Yes, I forgive you, and I should have, a long time ago."

Blaine felt the weight of the world lifting off of his shoulders and a gratitude bigger than he could have imagined reached him to the core. Kurt smiled at him, the most amazing smile he had seen since they met in New York, and Blaine just knew that this would do them both so much good.

He grabbed a couple of napkins from the dispenser on the table and offered Kurt some too. They dried their eyes and laughed a bit awkward about the outlet of feelings, there in a bar in the outskirts of New York.

Blaine finished his beer and ordered next round for them. He sighed and manned up again. "Now it's your turn, Kurt. I need you to talk to me too."

"Okay," Kurt said and breathed out through pointed lips. "There is no easy way to do this, is there?"

"No," Blaine said, still all raw on the inside. "But it's harder not to do it."

"I know," Kurt said quietly and licked his lips before he started. Their hands found each other again, like it was a necessity to maintain the physical connection between them, before they could say things that was this hard.

"I think I was very naive throughout my senior year," Kurt finally started. "And it honestly didn't occur to me that we would be in troubled waters. I guess I was so excited about moving here with everything this city could offer me. McKinley seemed so small all of a sudden. And I missed you, I really did, but at the end of the day I think you missed me more.

When you came and visited me, telling me you had been with another guy, it was beyond my grasp. I felt so betrayed that I could hardly breathe. I knew long distance relationships are failing for a lot of people, and I knew that cheating wasn't that uncommon under those circumstances, but I had never, in a million years believed that you would do that to me. I trusted you to have my back at all times, and if we ever broke up that it would happen in a decent way. I believed we could stay friends forever. I'd never imagined that you shouldn't be a part of my life one way or another. You broke my heart into a thousand pieces that night and I didn't know how to heal it if I didn't just cut you off and moved on."

Blaine felt his head pounding. How else would Kurt have felt?

"The months that followed were like living in an emotional hell. I hated you and loved you at the same time. My mind wanted one thing, but my heart wanted something else. My boss at the time, Isabelle Wright, knew about all this. She noticed I was on the rocks and I was too hurt to pretend otherwise, so I told her. Since then she kept an eye on me, and every time I told her that I had to move on, that done was done and I couldn't do anything about it, she always asked me to consider forgiving you. Because the only way to a healing heart goes through forgiveness.

But I couldn't.

I kept having these terrible images about you and him. Kept wondering if he was better than me in bed, if he had made you laugh, or if you had looked at him the way you looked at me. I was so angry at you, but I was also angry at myself. I suddenly questioned my worth and nobody had made me do that before. The stupidest thing was that no matter how hard I tried, you were still only a heartbeat away. Always here, right under my shirt. I know you tried to reach out for me, but I couldn't reach back, Blaine, because that would mean I had to open up for all the things I tried to bury and I wasn't ready for that. So I shut you down and looked the other way. I busied myself in NYADA and Vogue. I tried to forget, and I thought I had, you know. I thought I had succeeded, until I heard your voice again, filling every corner of the loft when we listened to your submission.

The worst part of it all was that I really missed your friendship. You were the one who knew me best when things were the hardest, and despite the five years that have passed, I sometimes still feel that way, like this morning."

"I'm so sorry, Kurt," Blaine whispered.

"I know, Blaine, but I'm sorry too. I need to ask for forgiveness too. For not listening to you when you needed me the most, for taking you for granted, and for not talking to you when you tried to reach out for me once more. Can you forgive me for that?"

"Yes, Kurt. I forgive you." Blaine smiled through the tears that apparently wouldn't end for the night.

"Thank you," Kurt said and reached for more napkins. "Wow, this is freeing. I can't remember when I last cried this much. It's years ago."

Blaine smiled, feeling all giddy and relaxed from the beers. "To friendship," he said and cheered.

"To friendship," Kurt replied with a grin.

They kept talking for awhile, but Kurt got more and more drowsy and Blaine insisted that he should get some sleep now. It was getting really late and Kurt offered Blaine a sleepover on his couch.

"Are you sure Benjamin doesn't mind?" Blaine asked, not wanting to cause any problems.

"No, it's okay," Kurt said with sleepy eyes. "He knows I'm staying at Bushwick tonight anyway."

When they entered the apartment Blaine made sure that Kurt was tucked to bed right away, before he made a bed for himself on the couch with the extra set of sheets and duvets Kurt had.

Five minutes later he heard the steady breathing from the bedroom. He hoped Kurt would sleep in the next morning and get some energy back.

Blaine couldn't fall asleep right away. A happy buzzing feeling kept wandering around in his body. Bits and pieces of the conversation with Kurt returned and started a chain reaction of thoughts and feelings. Kurt would always mean something special to him and the love they had shared back then was still a part of the energy between them. How could it not be?

When Blaine finally caved in and started to drift off, it wasn't the things said that followed him in the blissful darkness, it was the feeling of Kurt's hand in his; warm, caressing, and open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review and tell me what you think.
> 
> Some of you have been asking about the metaphors and symbols in the musical and how much of Kurt is hidden there somewhere. But tell me what you see and I'll make a comment next time about the things I've had in mind throughout the process of writing the story.
> 
> To the guest who started reading because Santana appears as a character - just keep on reading ;-). Santana is important to Kurt and even though she is a minor character in the story itself, she is a major character to Kurt. Oh, and I'm sorry I tricked you ;-) (Not sorry)
> 
> See you Wednesday
> 
> Love Melissa


	8. Wicked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ready for a chapter more? On a personal level this is one of my favorites ;-)
> 
> I promised to tell a bit about the metaphors and symbols in the musical and here are a few thoughts. If you're not interested, you can just go ahead with the chapter.
> 
> The idea for the entire musical comes from that one line Burt said to Kurt about "West Side Story" - "You just have to write your own stuff." And here goes the things I've had in mind when I wrote the musical:
> 
> \- Coalan finding his voice, is Kurt finding his passion for performing. When Kurt sings he moves people and can touch their hearts.
> 
> \- Kurt doesn't give up on his "voice" freely like Coalan does, but it gets suffocated in disappointments and heartbreak. He loses his way.
> 
> \- Cordelia's eyes are the same colors as Blaine's. She represents hope and spring the same way Blaine did for Kurt when they first met.
> 
> \- Cordelia's illness is the bitterness Kurt is living with. The black veil represents that bitterness. First it's barely noticeable and out of sight, but as he moves on it covers him more and more and threatens to take him over completely.
> 
> \- When it comes to Cordelia and Coalan - well, the moment Coalan goes back to the start and to his true calling he gets to have Cordelia as well. ;-)
> 
> I will post different things and thoughts about this story on my tumblr blog as well. I hope to have a link for that purpose only very soon. You're always welcome to ask me any questions there as well. My tumblr name is Melissa Motown.
> 
> Hope you like this chapter ;-)

Blaine had one more lesson with Kevin before boot camp and he couldn't help loving the kid more and more. Kevin's entire demeanor had changed over the last couple of weeks since they started with the pirate music. While he used to tiptoe into the room, too shy to say anything before he was asked, he now smiled at Blaine and claimed, "I can play the entire theme of "Pirates Of The Caribbean."

"No way," Blaine said surprised.

"Yes way," Kevin gave back, shining like a little sun.

"But I only taught you the beginning. How did you learn the rest?"

"I don't know," Kevin shrugged off, "I found it on YouTube and then I listened."

"Like one of those tutorials?"

Kevin frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well, if you go on YouTube and type: How to play Pirates Of The Caribbean, somebody shows you how to play it on the piano."

"Oh" Kevin said. "No, it wasn't like that. I just listened to a recording and then tried to play the same thing on the piano."

Blaine couldn't believe his own ears. "Now you got me excited. Let me hear." He patted on the bench by the piano and prompted the boy to sit down.

Kevin started to play, with blushing cheeks and fast hands; working his way through the number and Blaine became more and more impressed. There were only minor mistakes in the part the boy had learned on his own, but that wasn't important. The main issue for Blaine, as a teacher, was how the music was flowing effortlessly through the boy and how he lit up the room.

When Kevin had finished, Blaine laughed and gave him a high five. "Kevin, that was just like the coolest thing ever. That is really hard to do."

The freckled boy's mouth split into the biggest smile Blaine had seen yet. "Look, why don't you play it one more time, and I will play on the other piano in the corner. Then I can improvise, and we can play together."

Kevin nodded eagerly and got ready for a reprise. The rest of the lesson was flying by, both enjoying themselves, when Kevin's mom suddenly stood in the doorway.

She was a beautiful woman named Joyce, with long dark hair and a mild expression. She reminded Blaine of his own mom when he was a kid. They'd only spoken a few times. Usually Blaine didn't interact a lot with the parents during lessons because he only had his students for a limited time before they had to move on to the program.

Kevin packed his bag and bounced over to his mom. She kissed him on the cheek and told him to go out and play for ten minutes because she needed to talk to Blaine. Kevin waved at them both and disappeared with a happy smile.

Blaine didn't know what to expect but asked Joyce to take a seat at one of the chairs.

She thanked him and looked at him hesitantly before she said anything. "Kevin is very fond of the Pirate theme you taught him," she started. "And he has worked very hard practicing this week."

Blaine tilted his head and looked closely at her. "That's nice to hear, however I sense a but in there somewhere."

Joyce nodded slowly, clearly uncomfortable about the things on her mind. "It's just that he is applying to the classical program, and I don't want him to lose interest in that."

"Oh," Blaine said. "I don't think he will lose interest. He is very capable of going both ways."

"But won't his chances of succeeding as a classical pianist decrease if he doesn't focus completely on that?"

Joyce didn't seem hostile and her tone of voice was open. Blaine decided to be a bit bold. He smiled. "You know, for the first few months, when Kevin came here he was very shy and very quiet. I couldn't figure out if it was a part of his nature, if he was nervous, or if something else bothered him. I decided to give him the time he needed and not push him too hard. But something happened with him when we started to talk about pirates. He relaxed and I got a glimpse into his fantasy world. That was the only reason why I played something else for him. Today I see a completely different boy. I'm not claiming it's only because of the music, but I just have this feeling that the music gives him a sanctuary, somewhere to escape to, even if just for a little while."

Joyce looked at him with big eyes. "It's just that we've always heard classical music at home, and his dad was a pianist as well. This has been Kevin's dream ever since his dad died."

Blaine's heart fell. "I didn't know he had lost his dad?"

Joyce nodded. "It's almost two years ago, but it's still hard on him. Well, it's still hard on both of us."

"I can only imagine," Blaine said compassionately. "Look, Kevin is incredibly talented; I'm sure you've heard that a lot. But music is more than talent...it's also emotions, it's life, and it's about breathing. Today, that's what I saw in your son... I saw him breathe."

Joyce got teary eyed but Blaine continued. "I'm not saying Kevin should give up on his classical training; we can easily do both. I did both when I was his age and today I still love classical music. I just feel that we should see where this will take him. He has managed to listen to a very hard number and learn it on his own. I've never seen a kid his age do that before."

Joyce looked proud despite her tears. "I'm sorry for getting so emotional, but Kevin is struggling so much and he doesn't have a lot of friends. I'm very protective of him, probably too protective. It has just been hard handling his sorrow on top of my own."

"I can understand that," Blaine said. "Even though I still have my dad, I've never really … had him, you know."

Joyce gave him a trusting smile, as if she knew exactly what he meant. Blaine sat up straight. "Can I convince you to allow us a tryout period of 3 weeks? We can divide the lesson time; playing Chopin half of the time and rhythmical music the other half. If you or Kevin at any given time decides that it's too much, you just let me know."

Joyce smiled for the first time since she came. "It's a deal," she said and shook his outstretched hand. "And … thank you for taking an interest in him."

"No problem. He is an amazing kid."

"I happen to think so, too," she confessed with a wink before she left.

Blaine loved his job as a music teacher, and he couldn't wait to tell Kurt about his number one favorite student.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

"Wouldn't it be great to spend a quiet Saturday night at home?" Benjamin asked Kurt while on an early afternoon walk in Central Park. Their damp breaths were a subtle reminder of winter's unwillingness to loosen its grasp on the city.

"We can't," Kurt answered, knowing well what would come next. "We have tickets for "Wicked" tonight and you promised me you'd come."

"Oh, right...I completely forgot about that." Benjamin took a glance at his fiancé.

"No, you didn't forget," Kurt stated with an obvious edge to his voice, "you just don't wanna go, and instead of telling me a week ago so I could have arranged something else, you waited until the last minute."

Benjamin stopped Kurt with a tug in his arm. "Look, Kurt, I've already seen Wicked and so have you. Maybe if it was a new play it would be easier to drag me along."

Kurt clenched his jaws. "But why do I have to drag you to these things? Why can't you just go to make me happy, even though you might be bored to death?"

"Would you do that for me?" Benjamin asked with a tired expression.

"I do it every time we go to the different cocktail parties you are invited to with all of your contacts."

"So you're not enjoying yourself to those parties, at all?"

"Of course I am, but a lot of times I would have preferred staying home or doing something else. There is only one topic at those parties; estate. And I might be interested in decorating, but I'm not interested in whether a location is a 4.5 or a 4.8." Kurt shook a bit in the cold. "I go because I know it's important to you."

"You cannot compare those two things, Kurt," Benjamin said with a sigh. "Going to the theater is entertainment, those parties are a part of my job. If I don't attend, then I'm missing out on some big opportunities."

"But that's not the point. This isn't about career move, this is about support. Do you believe musical theater is important to me?"

"I know it is, of course. And if tonight was about landing you a role or supporting you network in the biz, then it would have been a different matter."

Kurt closed himself off with crossed arms now, feeling the need to protect himself. "But going just to be there for me; just doing something I'm passionate about, is not enough."

Benjamin threw his hands to the side. "I will not turn into Rachel's Mark if that's what you're asking. I'm an independent man with a life of my own, and I refuse to become a puppet like he is."

"Mark is not a puppet," Kurt hissed. "I can guarantee you that much. He just happens to love musical theater as much as Rachel and I do. I don't expect the same things from you. I know it's not your passion, but I would like you to be there for me once in awhile."

Benjamin pulled his shoulders up to his ears in tension, hands deep pocketed in the blue woolen coat. "This isn't really about Wicked, is it?" he asked.

Kurt shook his head. "No, tonight is just the last drop in a cup that's very full at this point."

"Look, let me make it up to you. We could go on a vacation, maybe a cruise or something. I'm sure I could arrange a nice trip," Benjamin tried.

"There are certain things you cannot solve with your money, things that needs to be solved with your heart instead." Kurt looked down and kicked the gravel at his feet. "Look, I'm going to walk back to the apartment now, and I'll find somebody else to go with me tonight."

Benjamin closed his eyes. "Please, don't be upset."

"That's too late, but it doesn't have to be the end of the world that I'm upset."

"You're sure?" Benjamin asked with a tilted head. He stepped closer and leaned in for a kiss.

Kurt pulled away, but managed a small smile in return. "I'm sure, I just need some time now to cool off."

"What if you can't find someone to come with you?" Benjamin asked as Kurt was walking away.

Kurt turned around and shrugged. "Then I'll go alone."

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

Kurt's feet were turning into ice cubes and he had to pocket his hands deeply now that he didn't have Benjamin's warm body next to him.

They usually didn't argue a lot. Mainly because Kurt would keep things locked up. But the truth time with Blaine about their past had triggered something inside of him. He cared about Benjamin, a lot, but there were times where he didn't feel all that loved. Romance for Benjamin was a nice dinner, expensive gifts, or a vacation. For Kurt it was way more than that. Romance should also be moments of love in a jam packed schedule, a promise of something more than the day to day struggles. It should also be about the little things like the touch of the fingertips or a long lingering stare that made the butterflies in your stomach flutter with their feather light wings.

He shook his head in confusion as he walked along. Things beneath him that he had counted as rock solid, suddenly seemed to slide. He didn't know why, but there was a shift in his life. Hopefully for the better.

He picked up his phone and hit the icon of a smiling Blaine.

Blaine picked up right away. "Hi, Kurt." His voice sounded happy and warm.

Kurt tried not to smile too broad. "Hi Blaine." He cleared his throat. "Um I was wondering if you're like insanely busy tonight."

"That depends," Blaine said amused. "Do you have anything insanely in mind?"

"I know it's a last minute call, but I happen to have an extra ticket to "Wicked" tonight and I don't know if you have been to the theater yet. If you've got plans I understand, and then you are free to say no of course. I mean nobody's forcing you and I'll just go alone or I can try to find somebody else." Kurt was babbling beyond what was normal, but he simply couldn't help it.

"Did you say "Wicked"?" Blaine asked thrilled. "That would be so great. I would love to go."

"Really?"

"Of course. Tell me where to go and when, and I'll be there in a heartbeat."

Kurt's head was spinning. He didn't know why, but there was something about the way Blaine talked that made him fuzzy and warm inside. "Great," he said with a smile in his voice. "The show's at the "Gershwin Theater" on Broadway and it starts at 8 o'clock. Maybe we could meet outside around 7.30?"

"I'm all in and I'm practically bouncing here!"

Kurt chuckled. "Well you were the right one to ask then."

"Oh, wait, what do I wear? Is it casual or is it fancy with a suit and everything?"

"There is no clothes code for Broadway, but you know, wear something nice."

"No, no, no, no," Blaine objected. "You seriously have to be more specific than that, Kurt. Something nice to me isn't necessarily something nice to you."

"Okay, okay," Kurt said laughing. The panic in Blaine's behavior was really sweet. "Tell me what you want to wear, and I'll wear something similar. Then you don't have to feel overdressed or underdressed."

"Um, okay, I can do that, I can do that. I um, I think I want to wear a suit for my first time in a Broadway Theater. Is that okay with you?"

"Sure, we'll come in suits."

"Great," Blaine said relieved. "Thank you so much for taking me."

"You're welcome, Blaine," Kurt said softly.

After they had hung up Kurt had forgotten about his feet being cold and he couldn't help smiling all the way home. The prospect of taking a thrilled Blaine tonight, instead of a reluctant Benjamin was not a bad trade after all.

As soon as he got home he found the suit he had been choosing in his mind. It was tailored to fit him perfectly and had a modern cut to it. It was stylish, but not over the top. He found a black dress-shirt that needed to be ironed, but if he did it right away he would still have time to work a couple of hours on the script.

He had been preparing for "boot camp" the last couple of days, trying to get ready for Monday morning. He still had so much to do, but he would have to trust Blaine and Ally to help him get there. And he knew they would.

He was still ironing when he heard Benjamin come home. Kurt wasn't mad at him anymore. The walk had made him good and he gave his fiancé a big smile when they faced each other again. The relief in Benjamin's face was visible and Kurt regretted being so harsh.

"So, did you find someone to go with you?" Benjamin asked curious.

Kurt nodded. "Yes, Blaine will come. He hasn't been to a Broadway show yet and he was really excited."

"Oh," Benjamin said with a flat voice. His eyes wandered from the smile on Kurt's face to the beautiful dark gray suit on the hanger next to him. "Well, you're sure dressing up I can see."

Kurt shrugged it off. "Yeah, but you know it is Broadway, and I have been looking forward to this ever since I bought the tickets."

"About that, Kurt," Benjamin started. "I'm really sorry, and I want you to know that if Blaine hadn't accepted your invitation I would have come. You're not supposed to go alone."

"Hey," Kurt said and stepped closer, putting his arms around Benjamin's neck and giving him a soft kiss. "Don't think about it. I just needed to tell you how I felt and no harm is done. Enjoy your quiet evening and then I'll be home later."

Benjamin kissed him back and smiled. "Okay."

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Blaine's jittery moves were not missed by Cooper. "If I had known it would be such a big deal for you to go to the theater, I could have invited you months ago," he stated teasingly still sweaty after a run in the park.

Blaine paced the floor in excitement. "But don't you see, it's not just any musical and it's not just any theater. It's "Wicked" at the "Gershwin Theater." Blaine waited for a response from Cooper, just a sign that he understood how huge this was. Then he explained. "Kurt and I used to dream about something like this all the time; ever since he went to New York for Nationals in his junior year."

"And you're sure it's not a date?" Cooper said and waggled his eyebrows.

Blaine rolled his eyes. "No, it's not a date, someone else should have been with him who couldn't make it. This is nothing but Kurt being a good friend. And if you're going to be good brother, then behave about this."

"Must have hit a nerve there," Cooper mumbled and chewed on a banana.

Blaine gave up and ignored the remark. He wouldn't let anything ruin this night.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Kurt looked amazing in the tailored gray suit, accentuating the long lean lines of his body. Blaine had to close his eyes and compose himself for a brief moment before he approached him. The broad shoulders, his narrow waist, the way he was holding himself, witnessed of a confident, handsome man instead of a struggling teenage boy. He was beautiful, and Blaine would never pretend otherwise.

Kurt's smile reached the sparkling blue eyes when he spotted Blaine. They hugged long enough for them to breathe in each other's arms. Not too intimate, but still more than they had done before. Blaine's body hadn't forgotten what Kurt felt like; his mind had tried, but his body knew better.

They went into the theater, small talking about indifferent things that somehow became important when listened to. With their coats well taken care of Kurt gave Blaine a once over with a humming approval.

"You look handsome tonight, Mr. Anderson, if I may say so," he complimented with a cute smile and offered Blaine the crook of his elbow.

"Why thank you, sir," Blaine replied with a gentleman's bow. "So do you, Mr. Hummel; a beauty for the eye, if you ask me."

Kurt bumped their shoulders together. "Oh, you're too kind with the compliments."

They beamed at each other and went for the "American Theatre Hall Of Fame", placed in the lobby of Gershwin Theater. Blaine had always wanted to see it and he looked in awe at all the nameplates and the pictures hanging on the wall, representing the greatest names in the theater world. Men and women who had worked harder than most and had been acknowledged for making a difference.

"So who is your biggest idol of them all?" Kurt asked.

Blaine sighed and let his eyes wander over all the names on display. "That's really tough, there are so many." He contemplated for a moment before making a decision. "As a composer I would have to go with "Andrew Lloyd Webber" and "Leonard Bernstein"," he finally said.

Kurt shot him a warm smile and nodded. "Think about all the music we would have missed out on if they hadn't pursued their talents and believed in themselves."

"I know," Blaine replied. "But even though they are great composers, don't you think that even they from time to time doubted themselves?"

"I think everybody is bound to doubt sometimes?"

"Do you doubt once in awhile?"

Kurt cleared his throat, something vulnerable snuck up on his face. "I doubt all the time, but I rarely let it influence me for long."

Blaine nodded. That was Kurt as he knew him, and still something gave him away, maybe the small flicker of his eyes or the way he almost held his breath."Do you think our names will be up there sometime in the future?"

"Why not," Kurt asked and found his calm again, locking eyes with Blaine. "Somebody's names have to be up there; why not ours?"

Blaine knees went weak for a moment. There was something disturbingly and amazing about this unsaid thing that seem to grow between them. Kurt was giving Blaine access to himself bit by bit; still hesitant, but more trusting than before.

"What if we could make an even bigger impact on the theater world together than apart?" Blaine asked, though he was afraid of overstepping.

Kurt's eyes went soft. "Maybe that's the biggest lesson for the two of us to learn."

Blaine's cheeks burned. This was supposed to be a night of reconnecting and having fun, not a night of wanting to kiss Kurt so bad he could taste it. "Um, what about you?" he stuttered, eager to change the subject. "Who are your idols?"

Kurt blinked, like he just remembered where they were, and then he faced the wall again. "I would have to go with "Julie Andrews" and "Christopher Plummer" if I'm limited to two."

"Sound of Music," Blaine said knowingly. "I probably should have guessed that."

"Well, what can I say," Kurt shrugged off. "You do know me pretty well, still."

The silence between them became solid. "Let's promise each other to get up on that wall," Kurt said and bit his lip.

Blaine nodded and let confidence chase away the new vulnerability. "That's a deal, Mr. Hummel. We will be in the "Theatre Hall of Fame" one day."

They had balcony seats, first row, pretty much center of the stage. The view was amazing and Blaine sat up straight in the seat looking excitedly around. "How did you manage to get these killer tickets?" he whispered loudly.

"That's a NYADA benefit I suppose," Kurt answered. "You don't have to be a part of a lot of plays before you get good contacts, even if the roles are small. As long as you have played more than a "tree", or "citizen no. 26", things are bound to get easier in the tickets department."

"I just know the coolest guy," Blaine said beaming.

"If you're referring to me," Kurt said with a smug smile, "then yes you do."

"You know, I'm gonna come and see every role you're ever going to play on a Broadway stage. Even if you're just playing a freaking tree."

Kurt moaned. "If I ever fall that far down from stardom, I'm seriously not going to tell you."

"I would stalk you, and look for green leaves in your hair."

Kurt chuckled. "As if would ever have leaves in my hair."

"Well, don't say I didn't warn you."

"Okay, does that mean I can come to all your concerts?"

"God no, you would be bored to death," Blaine claimed.

"I don't see how."

Blaine suddenly jerked up. "Oh, oh, maybe you could come as a guest star and sing with me."

"Nope, that's not going to happen," Kurt responded dryly.

"Pleeeaaase."

"No, don't, don't look at me like that. It's not going to work … at least not for a while."

Blaine laughed at Kurt's determined expression. Kurt would still do a lot of things for him; things that really mattered, and that was all he needed to know.

The seats in the theater was filling up fast now, connecting row after row. The excitement became dense in the air. By the time darkness surrounded them Blaine was more than ready.

The orchestra started after the final tuning and the curtain revealed an enormous stage, more beautiful decorated than anything else Blaine had seen. It was big and overwhelming even from the balcony and everything about the settings captured Blaine to the core. When Galinda descended in her see through bubble to talk to the citizens of the city, Blaine glanced at Kurt. He seemed just as captured, and a soft beautiful smile played around his lips. They both leaned a bit closer to each other until their shoulders and arms were touching. The heat from Kurt's body was like a soothing wave radiating over to Blaine. Then he paid full attention to the play, content in what felt like a safe haven to him.

Blaine knew Wicked as his own back pocket. They had been very close to making it the "Spring Performance" at college through his upperman year, but had ended up with "Cats" instead because of financial reasons. But to know the storyline, to know every chord by heart was not the same thing as seeing it live in a Broadway Theater, with some of the most talented actors and musicians in the world.

It was beyond compare.

The volume of the orchestra combined with the more delicate passages was mesmerizing and every stroke on the violins found its way to Blaine's heart. From there he let himself get lost in the beloved tale about the green skinned Elphaba who wasn't evil in the beginning, but just wanted so desperately to belong. Blaine's loyalty and compassion had never really followed Glinda. His heart belonged to Elphaba, the center of struggle. When the first soft notes of "Defying Gravity" vibrated against the soaring ceiling, Blaine could tell Kurt got just as emotional next to him, and with big eyes he watched how Elphaba rose up above all other people, revealing the beautiful overwhelming gown never lifted from the floor.

But it was not until "For Good" that he lost it for real.

 

I'm limited - Just look at me

I'm limited

And just look at you, you can do all I couldn't do,

Glinda

So now it's up to you - now it's up to you

I've heard it said - that people come into our lives

for a reason

Bringing something we must learn

And we are led

To those who help us most to grow

If we let them - and we help them in return

 

There was no way Blaine could have held back the tears; even if he had tried. The duet between Glinda and Elphaba was so beautifully performed and Blaine had always loved the lyrics more than anything. But this night, in New York, at this point in his life, it was so much more. Every word sung out resonated in his soul, and he acknowledged that the song more than anything described his feelings for Kurt.

 

Well, I don't know if I believe that's true

But I know I'm who I am today

Because I knew you

Like a comet pulled from orbit

As it passes a sun

Like a stream that meets a boulder

Halfway through the wood

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?

But because I knew you

I have been changed for good

Nobody had had more impact on his life than Kurt, nobody had known him better or had loved him more.

It well may be

That we will never meet again in this lifetime

So let me say before we part

So much of me is made from what I learned from you

You'll be with me - like a handprint on my heart

And now whatever way our stories end

I know you have re-written mine

By being my friend

 

When the tears escaped the corners of his eyes and started to stream down his face, he suddenly felt a napkin being pressed gently into his hand.

He looked grateful at Kurt and dried his eyes, embarrassed by his emotional outlet. But then Kurt's hand stayed with him, offered gently and without hesitation. Blaine's breath got stuck in his chest.

 

Like a ship blown from its mooring - by a wind off the sea

Like a seed dropped by a skybird

In a distant wood

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?

But because I knew you

Because I knew you

I have been changed for good

Kurt hadn't withdrawn his hand and Blaine didn't want to let him go. Their fingers lingered in the grip and Blaine rubbed his thumb over Kurt's knuckles.

And just to clear the air

I ask forgiveness for the things I've done you blame me for

But then, I guess we know - there's blame to share

And none of it seems to matter anymore

Kurt intertwined their fingers and Blaine tightened their grip to let him know that it was okay.

Like a comet pulled from orbit - as it passes a sun

Like a stream that meets a boulder

Halfway through the wood

Who can say if I've been changed for the better.

I do believe I have been changed for the better

And because I knew you

Because I knew you

Because I knew you

I have been changed for good...

 

They didn't let go of each other for the rest of the play, but when they went for a beer later they didn't mention it or talked about it either. There was not much to talk about after all, Blaine thought. They had shared a very beautiful moment and Blaine felt too raw and exposed emotionally to wanting to put words into anything, so it suited him fine; and Kurt seemed to feel the same way.

In the bar they relived every scene and every song and Blaine kept asking Kurt about his experiences on Broadway and what parts he dreamed about playing.

It was late before they parted.

______________________________________________________________________________________________

Later, when Kurt was lying in the darkness listening to Benjamin breathing calmly next to him, he was emotionally drained. He would remember this night forever, layer it in his heart for safekeeping, never letting it go. Seeing Wicked like that, together with Blaine, had been overwhelming. Experiencing one of his favorite musicals through Blaine's eyes and remembering the excitement, was like seeing it for the first time all over again. The unguarded approach, the way Blaine had let himself be carried away, reminded Kurt about something that had been lost for a while.

He had been like that once.

He had believed in so many things. He had loved New York wholeheartedly when he first got here, but somewhere along the way disappointment had pinned him down, trying to convince him that life would never be as he had dreamt about.

Blaine challenged him all the time without knowing it; and it thrilled him and frightened him at the same time. It was hard to describe it, but Kurt felt more alive than he had done in years; a numbness that had muffled his emotions was lifting.

He sighed and twisted and turned in his bed as silently as possible, afraid to disturb Benjamin.

They probably shouldn't have held hands.

Benjamin would never understand something like that, and Kurt couldn't blame him. But he didn't regret it never the less. It had been so intense and Kurt's heart had been beating way too fast. He just had to remind himself that it was what it was. He and Blaine knew each other so well and they had just shared a very beautiful moment together as friends. That was all.

At 2 am Kurt still wasn't sleeping, more like staring angrily at the ceiling. He would be all grumpy tomorrow if he didn't sleep soon. Then a quiet buzz woke up the display on his phone and he looked at it frowning. A text at this hour better had to be important. The smiling face of Blaine spread the darkness of the bedroom. Kurt slid the message open, hoping nothing bad had happened.

 

To Kurt

-Hey, are you asleep?

 

Kurt relaxed again and bit his lip. Blaine, you silly boy, what a stupid question.

 

To Blaine

-What do you think? I'm still high after the show.

 

Kurt glanced at Benjamin who was still sound asleep.

 

To Kurt

-Can I call you?

 

Kurt made a quick decision.

 

To Blaine

-Give me two minutes and then I'll call you.

 

He got up from the bed without making any noise and snuck out of the bedroom. Then he wrapped a blanket around his shoulders and sat down at a little repo by one of the big windows in the living room. The view was breathtaking with all the city lights and the tiny cars driving around in the street way down below him.

Then he called.

"Hey," Blaine said muffled before his voice became clear. "I know it's really late and I promise you it won't take long."

Kurt chuckled. "I thought for a moment that you needed to be rescued from some sneaky gay bar or needed money for a cab, because you had been drinking all your money away."

"Excuse me, is that really what you think of me?"

"No, not really.

"Thank you."

Kurt stretched his legs with his head resting against the window. "But if you're not drunk and if you don't need help then what's the emergency?"

"Now you make me feel all bad," Blaine whined, "because there really isn't an emergency. I just … um … I mean when I came home I was in this crazily creative mode, and I had to compose something. Then I started out with a couple of lines for Coalan's song to Cordelia, and now I'm all hyped because I think it turned out alright. I just need to know what you think of it before I continue."

Kurt smiled down in the phone. "And it couldn't wait until tomorrow?" he asked kindly.

"No, no, no, I couldn't possibly sleep until you'd heard it."

"Are you going to sing on phone?"

"Yes, if that's alright?"

"Okay, maybe it will help me fall asleep as well, so give it a go."

Kurt could hear Blaine put down the phone and getting ready by the piano. The first chords started flowing and he closed his eyes to pay full attention.

With a whisper from your softened lips

you spoke and love arose

With a breath you captured beams of sun

and shades I never knew

With a kiss you turned my world around

my heart will stay all heaven bound

If you have to leave, I'll stop to breath

there's no way I'll be left behind

Please stay my sweet Cordelia

I wither without you

Kurt let the tears fall, hoping with all his heart that Benjamin wouldn't wake up all of a sudden.

Blaine had picked up the phone again. "That's it so far, now I just need to hear if I should move on or tune into something different."

Kurt choked in his attempt to gain control again.

"Kurt, are you there?" Blaine quietly.

"Yes, yes I'm here."

"Are you crying?"

"No," Kurt said, "yes, maybe."

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, I really am. It's a very beautiful song, Blaine. The lyrics fit perfectly and the melody is emotional."

"So you like it?"

"I love it," Kurt breathed out. "I don't want you to change a thing!"

"I'm happy to hear that, but I'm not sure you're really okay though."

"I don't know, I think I'm going through an emotional time, that's all."

"Emotional how?"

Kurt dried his tears away in the blanket wrapped around him. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Do you think that plan B can be just as good as plan A, or will everything else be lost if your first dream didn't come true?"

Blaine was quiet at first. "I'm not sure what you're talking about here, Kurt, but I firmly believe that plan B can be even better than plan A. We just don't realize it until later in life."

"I had so many dreams when I came here to New York," Kurt explained. "I wanted to be on a Broadway stage, I wanted to make it, you know, and not just to be okay, but to really see things come true. It has always been my fuel, especially through rough times that someday I would make it, and it would be worth it all."

"So plan A was NYADA and then the big parts on Broadway, and plan B is writing a musical?" Blaine guessed.

"Maybe. I know that nobody gets the big parts on Broadway right away, nobody, not even Rachel's there yet, but she still gets okay parts. I'm sure she'll end up with the main roles at some point. I just feel really disheartened at the moment, and I know that I confessed that I doubt every day, that everybody doubts. But I'm not sure I can survive the doubt for much longer."

"Kurt," Blaine's voice was gentle as ever and Kurt dwelled in the loving way his name was said out loud. "I believe this is a part of the creative process, it hurts, and it hurts the most when you're in the middle of it and the light at the end of the tunnel is so far away that there's still nothing but darkness. But then something magical happens and you pull through; the light will show and the reward will be so much more fulfilling than anything else. I know you're first and foremost an actor and a singer, but when you create something that people in the future will interpret and be moved by, you have made a much bigger impact on people's lives than you would ever have dreamed about. And that's why I think plan B can become the new plan A, don't you see that. Then you haven't compromised or settled for something less. You just have a new goal that will bring you further than the first one."

"You really think?"

"I'm positive. Composing wasn't my plan A. I'm not sure I had a plan A when we were in high school. I have never been as determined as you, or so sure of what I wanted when I was 16 or 17, but I figured it out eventually and now I combine two things that I love more than anything: performing and composing."

Kurt sighed deeply. "I'm just worried that I have given up on things because I spent all of my time writing the musical, instead of attending more auditions and keep pushing harder."

"One thing doesn't have to rule out the other, does it? Right now your focus stays with the musical, because it can give you a chance that you might not be given the traditional way. Like you said; Broadway is traditional, and if things should evolve and not stay the same, even Broadway needs someone to think differently. They need plays that uses countertenors, or plays that approach the classical parts in a whole new way. So instead of going to one audition after another, being more and more discouraged each time, you are doing something that can change things ten years from now, twenty years from now. And game-changers are the ones that should be on America's Hall of Fame, if you ask me?"

"You're good, Blaine, really good." Kurt could feel the worries move around and find a more approachable perspective.

"I don't know about that," Blaine said. "But life has a tendency to humble you along the way and teach you new lessons from time to time."

"That's true. But I haven't been a very good student."

"There's a time for everything, Kurt. Don't beat yourself up here, you don't deserve that. Look, we're going to kick ass on bootcamp. We will push hard, keep on working until we drop on the floor of exhaustion and we will see this musical come through. We will aim high and not compromise. We will learn the important lessons along the way, and our next musical will be even better."

Kurt almost choked in a chuckle. "So you see us go through this madness more than once?"

"Of course, that's the only way of getting better, and once curtain call has happened on opening night you will have forgotten how hard it was right here in the middle."

Kurt felt so much better and the sleepiness snuck up on him for the first time that night. "Okay, let's do this, let's kick ass."

"Yaaay,"

"Thank you for the song."

"Well, it was my pleasure, now I'm going to let you sleep."

"I will. Bye Blaine."

"Bye, Kurt."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, please review ;-)
> 
> Next chapter will be up already on Friday. I'm going to Chris' book signing in London on Sunday and will probably have other things in mind ;-)
> 
> Love Melissa


	9. Boot Camp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early chapter up and now it's time for a Boot Camp :-)
> 
> Thank you for some amazing kick-ass reviews. I don't get a lot, but those I get makes me smile for days. I'm really grateful!
> 
> We're are half way through the story now...

Kurt was the first one to arrive at the loft Monday. They had all agreed on an early start. The day before Blaine had brought over his digital piano as well as his computer. It was all wired up in the bedroom for him to compose and record behind a closed door if he needed to. One of the beds from the bedroom had been moved into Ally's sewing room. It did take up a lot of room but she was pretty satisfied with the arrangement and called it her little nest. With Ally sleeping in her own room and Kurt in the bedroom, Blaine was left with the couch. Kurt had tried to persuade him to take the real bed, at least some of the nights, but Blaine wouldn't hear anything about it, claiming that he would be perfectly alright on the couch.

The fridge was bursting with groceries, there were coffee enough to keep them awake for several days and Kurt had brought a substantial collection of musicals on DVD for them to crash to every night.

Kurt went straight to the bedroom and started unpacking his clothes. He wasn't aiming for a week of fashion but he refused to spend five days in sweatpants and t-shirts only. It would block his creativity on the spot.

When the door was pushed aside he knew immediately from the struggle that it was Ally. Somehow she never succeeded to make the opening big enough for her to get through with all her bags and sewing supplies. In her mind she could always easily slip through until a bag or her coat got stuck.

And as usual Kurt hurried out to push the door wide open.

"Thank you," she panted with red cheeks, slightly out of breath. "I swear one of these days I'm going to make Fred put a real door up. I always seems to have an argument with the sliding door and I have a tendency to lose."

"Your life would be so much easier if you opened the door a little wider before you tried to squeeze your way in," Kurt said with a headshake. "But I could be wrong, obviously," he added quickly when he caught her annoyed stare.

"Kurt, if you're saying something about my weight, I'm going to kill you; it's a simple as that!"

He relieved her from all her bags and her coat, and pecked a kiss on her nose. "I'm not talking about you honey, I'm talking about all the things you drag along every day. And the door actually does slide wider if you keep pushing it."

She tried to kick him with her orange boot. "Kurt Hummel, if you and your sorry little ass don't behave, this is going to be a very long week."

He shook his ass in front of her, teasingly. "It's going to be an amazing week, because you looove my ass."

Ally started chasing him around the table when Blaine peaked inside the door.

"Am I interrupting something here?" he said with raised eyebrows, "'cause I can come back later."

Kurt turned around on the spot, blushing by the sound of the soft voice. "I um, no, Blaine … I think it's safe for you to come in," he said, more high pitched than usual to his own regret.

"Great," Blaine replied with a spark in his warm eyes. "I like your ass too, by the way."

Kurt dropped his jaw, going for an offended look, but Ally was laughing so hard it was impossible to keep a straight face. "I accept the compliment, thank you very much," he replied coy before turning around on his heel and marching into the bedroom again to finish unpacking.

He could hear Ally and Blaine's muffled voices, talking and laughing. He loved that they were getting along so well, it meant the world to him. With everything in place there were still shelves to share in the closet. "Blaine," he yelled out the door.

"What?" Blaine yelled back from the kitchen. The sweet aroma of fresh brewed coffee seeped into the room. "If you need a place for your stuff, you can have it in here."

Blaine suddenly stood in the doorway. "You don't have to yell. I can hear you loud and clear," he chuckled.

"Oops," Kurt said with a sheepish smile. "Um, it's just," he nodded at the empty shelves, "there is room for your clothes too, that's all."

Blaine looked into the closet and nodded. Kurt sensed the hesitation and almost backed out of the proposition again, but then Blaine parted his lips and smiled. "Cool, I'll just go get my bag then."

With everything settled they got seated around the kitchen table, armed with coffee and Oreos enough to keep them running for a couple of hours.

"Okay," Kurt started and flipped up his laptop. "I would like to start with a difficult scene today that I haven't fully formed in my head yet."

Blaine and Ally looked expectantly at Kurt.

"I'm talking about the scene where Morigan rages over the love growing between Cordelia and Coalan. All the different evil constellations fight each other and find it hard to agree on a solution. I want it to be a discussion, waving back and forth, with a lot of things happening on stage. It starts out pretty controlled but then it escalades, visually and musically.

Blaine started writing something down in his notebook with a focused look. "How many characters do we have on stage and who is participating?" he asked.

Kurt named four main characters besides Morigan and their supporters.

Blaine scribbled some more before he spoke up. "Wouldn't it be interesting to give each constellation and main character their own melody line, connected to their point of view? At first they sing it separately as solo parts while people are listening. Then as the argument gets more heated the melodies starts to intertwine as if they are all talking at the same time. I can build it up in the orchestra as well. Morigan can have her own melody line that vocally will be on the top range to illustrate that she's the leader and she is making the final call."

Kurt was clearly intrigued by the idea. "That would be amazing," he said with an eager smile. "We would have to come up with some powerful lines for them to sing. Lines that means something on their own, but will make even more sense together – or maybe contradict each other."

"Like the gospel feeling you had in the opening number?" Ally suggested.

"No," Blaine answered. "The opposite actually. I would like to make the melodies almost clash with different dissonances and high built-up chords."

Ally looked puzzled and impressed. "All those cool things you just said, I think you should go for it. Dissonans-built-up-chord-shit, it just works for me every. single. time."

"I know," Blaine said and waggled his cute eyebrows. "Now what will you do, miss designer, to match the highly built-up chords?"

"I will work with four different colors to the main characters, which I totally think we should call "The Evil Four" from now on," she snorted. "I'm done with Morigan's gown, but I only have vague drafts of the other dresses, so I'm pretty open to anything."

Blaine scribbled some more.

"I think I could visualize the escalation of the conflict in my choice of fabric. If I work with chiffon or another light material it would fall smoothly around their bodies as long as they are keeping calm, but if they start moving and using their arms the fabric would unfold and make a more fuzzy impression."

Blaine was getting jittery by the idea. "I could connect the melodies with the colors somehow. It would help me to make them distinct differently."

"Why haven't we done this before," Kurt asked, taken aback by what happened in front of him. "This is so funny."

Ally danced a little victory dance on her chair, high fiving herself, Blaine scribbled some more with a big smile on his face, because Ally was being ridiculous, and Kurt looked frantically around for a marker. "We should write these things down on a board or something," he said. "Then we can all work around the same information."

He frowned. They only had three boards and they were all pinned with notes and drawings. Then his eyes fell on the white wall between the kitchen and the sliding door and a spark started dancing in his blue eyes. "We could use this," he said thrilled and marched over to the huge untouched white area in front of him.

"Um," Blaine said confused, "are you sure you want to do that?"

"Hell yeah," Kurt bubbled, "we can leave it as a reminder of our very first musical, or we can paint it over if the musical flops."

"Yaay, Kurt is letting his hair down today," Ally squealed, "I like it Mr. Hummel, you're so sexy when you're daring and in control."

Kurt winked at her and with no hesitation he wrote the names of "The Evil Four" on the white wall, with room enough to brainstorm each individual.

They discussed characteristics, temperaments, background stories, clothes, quirks and appearances. From here Ally started sketching and Kurt and Blaine needed to come up with the lines for the song.

At Blaine's request they sat down separately for ten minutes and wrote as many lines they could come up with before comparing them.

Blaine moved to the couch and Kurt stayed at the kitchen table. His body was tingling of excitement. This would move the musical to a higher level and it was hard to imagine ever doing this without Blaine. He and Ally had always worked well together, but they worked on very different areas. Blaine challenged them and pushed them to make everything blend in new ways.

He glanced over at Blaine's bent back. His hair was curling on the nape of his neck and his broad shoulders were rising and falling with every breath he took. Kurt smiled and wrote a couple of more lines, wondering what Blaine would come up with.

When the ten minutes were up, and yes, Blaine had timed them on his phone, they got together to compare notes. Blaine had written a full page, which was insane Kurt thought as he looked at his own 5 lines.

"Kurt," Blaine sighed dramatically and waved his own paper in Kurt's face. "You have to focus here, baby."

Kurt got soft by the endearment, no matter how funny it was meant to be, it still felt nice. "Don't mock me here," he said and bumped into Blaine on purpose. "I'm not the composer, you are!"

They continued the banter as they agreed on four lines that both could work in the dialogue and in the song, and Blaine went straight to the bedroom to come up with the solo parts for "The Evil Four". Kurt got behind his laptop and started writing the dialogue with the brainstorm on the wall within view. He let himself be lost in the dynamic between "The Evil Four" and Morigan, writing it as a draft first and then going back to pick up on the finer details.

Ally pulled out four blank sheets and placed them in front of her. She too kept an eye on the brainstorm on the wall. With a steady hand she quickly made four rough sketches in four different colors. Then she pulled out the finished sketch of Morigan's gown and studied the design. She chose four different things from Morigan's gown that she could incorporate in the new dresses of "The Evil Four".

After an hour Blaine returned from the bedroom with a satisfied smile playing on his lips. "Okay, I need you guys to hear what I've got so far, just to make sure that I'm heading in the right direction."

Kurt stretched in the chair and skimmed what he had written up until now. "Let's pick up what we've all got. I need an opinion about this too," he said.

They followed Blaine into the bedroom and flung themselves on the bed, as Blaine sat down at the piano. The chords he started playing created a mysterious atmosphere of dense tension, rising and falling, constantly developing. Then he started to sing the solo parts of each of "The Evil Four".

Ally grabbed Kurt's hand and Kurt winked at her. Once more Blaine blew them away and pushed their imagination forward.

Blaine continued with the chords for awhile and then he turned to Kurt as he kept on playing. "Come here," he said and prompted Kurt to sit on a chair next to the piano.

Kurt got up hesitantly and studied Blaine's sheet of paper.

"Are you ready?" Blaine asked with a soft smile.

"I sure am," Kurt said with a broken voice, "um ... ready to do what exactly?"

"To sing, you silly boy," Blaine said and locked eyes with him. "You take one line, and I'll take another, then we can test how the lines work together."

Kurt licked his lips and tried to focus. "Okay, just tell me what to sing."

It didn't take long before their voices blend together, intertwining and splitting the melodies. There were times the harmonies would clash and support the mysterious take from the chords, other times it was differences in the rhythm that drove it to an odd stressful place. But it was never, ever not beautiful.

Ally jumped up from the bed and fetched her four sketches. Then she spread them out on the floor and started drawing to the stirred up harmony.

As soon as two lines were rehearsed, Blaine would teach Kurt a new line and go to a completely new place with his own melody.

For Kurt this was a moment of magic; nothing less. The way Blaine dared to experiment and go a couple of wrong ways just to get it so right at the end, was mesmerising to witness and to be a part of.

After a while of singing back and forth, Blaine shot him a cute smile and stopped a recording on his computer.

Kurt squinted with a horrified expression on his face. "Don't tell me you just recorded that!"

Blaine chuckled. "Of course I did, now I can go back and pick out the best parts and make beautiful music."

Kurt moaned. "You could have warned me first, you know."

"If you knew you were being recorded you would have held back and been subconscious about how you sounded. I needed us to be free and get into the creative process."

"But still," Kurt said firmly, well aware that he had forgiven Blaine already.

"I have to agree with Blaine," Ally mumbled from the floor, still all lost in her drawings. "The creative process has be unrestrained."

"Aren't you the smart one all of sudden," Kurt said dryly.

"I am," she said without blinking, turning her sheets around for them to see the sketches of "The Evil Four".

They looked amazing and so many ideas ambushed Kurt's mind. He decided to get his computer and read what he had written so far.

The dialogue was running fluently and right on the spot. As Kurt was reading, he kept adding things on the way and go back to read it once more. He had taken a very funny angle to "The Evil Four" and soon Blaine and Ally was huddled up against each other, laughing at the crazy assumptions and situations Kurt had put the characters in. This scene would turn out to be one of the strongest in the play.

From there they needed to work separately again, but this time Kurt and Ally stayed in the bedroom as Blaine continued composing. It was inspiring to write to the music and it felt nice to be together in the same room.

After six hours of hard work, the scene was complete. Ally had sketched enough and was already constructing the sewing patterns, and she had a fairly good idea about fabrics.

Blaine had finished the song and would work out the arrangements with Matt, and Kurt was done with all the dialogue.

They quickly made some sandwiches and collapsed on the couch. It had been intense and they had been very disciplined. Now it was time for a break. When they had finished eating, Blaine went for a run, Kurt took a nap in the bedroom and Ally crashed on the couch with a magazine.

They spent the rest of the afternoon with a less complicated scene, but the method was the same and it worked perfectly. Kurt felt so much weight lifting off of his shoulders and as the hours passed by he and Blaine became more and more giddy and silly. It was beyond liberating. Somewhere from the corners of Kurt's mind he got aware that this carefree way of existing was something he almost had forgotten. When was the last time he had laughed so much? When was the last time he had lowered his guards long enough to really feel something again?

The lack of concentration late in the afternoon made the boys go to the kitchen and get dinner prepared. Ally was designing patterns and she was in a good roll, so they decided not to interrupt her.

They listened to music as they cooked and sang along as if the last five years had never parted them. After half an hour the smell of garlic, roast in the oven and fried vegetables lurked Ally away from the sewing room.

"Do you have any idea of how cute you two look together in a kitchen?" she asked yawning and sat down at the table.

Kurt bit his lip and thoughts that shouldn't be in his dizzy head snuck in anyway, but he didn't say anything. Blaine seemed fine with the remark though and turned around to blow Ally a kiss. Kurt wish he could relax just as much about it, but things were stirring too much inside to allow him that.

"You can set the table, Ally," Blaine said and checked the roast one last time. "We're almost there. Red wine is fine with you guys, right?"

"Yes," Kurt answered sheepishly. "Red wine is fine, as long as we still can work effectively tomorrow."

Blaine chuckled. "I wasn't planning on getting you drunk, so you don't have to worry."

"I don't worry," Kurt mumbled under his breath.

They all got seated to a delicious dinner with red wine and candle lights. Ally praised their skills in a kitchen and Blaine and Kurt cheered on a success.

It felt rewarding like nothing else after a really hard day of work. Kurt sketched out the plan for tomorrow, and even though they had hoped to work some more after dinner, they soon realized that they were too worn out.

Full, happy, and relaxed, Kurt offered to do the dishes if Blaine and Ally would pick a movie and arrange some snacks. He only had one condition; it had to be a musical. They were on, musicals only, this week.

Blaine cleaned up around the couch and Ally went through Kurt's extensive musical collection.

Kurt could hear her talk to herself as she made two piles of movies. Apparently there was a "go" and a "no go" pile.

"Ooh, ooh," she suddenly said excited. "Can we please watch Moulin Rouge please, please."

Kurt froze, with the brush midair and shoulders all tense. He closed his eyes, trying to keep his voice normal. "I'm not really in the mood for Moulin Rouge," he said with his back still turned to her.

Ally moaned. "Nooo, how can you not be in the mood for Moulin Rouge, you love it, you've always told me that."

"And I do love it, I just …"

Blaine came to his rescue before he could think of an excuse. "Kurt is right," he agreed. "Tonight is not a night of impossible, forbidden love, tonight needs to be as funny as the day."

Kurt relaxed and continued with the dishes, grateful that Blaine had understood right away. Even though things were going well between them in this new found friendship, he could not watch Moulin Rouge with Blaine just yet. It was painful enough to do it without him.

Ally complained loudly and Blaine couldn't help laughing at her. "What's in it for you anyway?" he asked.

"What's in it for me?" Ally asked surprised. "The costumes, Blaine, have you ever paid attention to the costumes!"

Blaine mouthed an "oh" with his lips. "Of course, but you know what, we can find some beautiful stills from the movie for you to look at before you go to sleep," he said mockingly.

"You are no fun, Blaine Anderson," she complained with a sigh. "I thought I could have an accomplice in you from time to time."

"Well, what can I say," Blaine smiled. "You caught me on a sore spot, that's all."

"Then get your sweet ass over here and help me pick something Lady Hummel would like too."

"I'm warning you, Ally," Kurt yelled from the kitchen, "only Santana gets to call me Lady Hummel. That privilege does not go to you."

Ally laughed and winked to Blaine. "That gets to him every single time," she whispered. "Okay, I'm done now, sorry," she yelled back.

"Hey, what about Annie?" Blaine asked and picked up the DVD. "She is cute, funny and ginger, and the music is amazing."

Ally laughed. "So you would pick her because she is ginger, is that what you're saying?"

"Yeah, she has the same hair color as Matt, and once he has a bunch of ginger kids I will make them call me Uncle Blaine."

Kurt smiled, and joined them after the last wet towel was drying over a chair. "You'll be a great Uncle Blaine," he said and put the DVD into the receiver.

They all got comfortable in the couch. Kurt was sitting in the middle with Blaine on his right side and Ally on his left. A big bowl of popcorn was placed in his lap and with his feet on the coffee table he hit play with the most content feeling in his body. He hadn't seen "Annie" for ages and he had to admit that she was captivating. Blaine was falling to pieces next to him and kept on gushing about the sweet red haired girl.

As the evening passed they all slouched further down in the couch, cuddling under a ton of blankets. Ally rested her head at the end of the couch with her feet in Kurt's lap and Blaine had his head on Kurt's shoulder. With sleepy eyes he had asked for permission, and Kurt had assured him that it was alright. They were sitting so close that Kurt could follow Blaine's calm breathing as he started to drift away.

Kurt wanted to stay here forever.

He wanted to stop the time and linger here until he was ready to let go again; if he would ever be ready. He leaned his head against Blaine's dark hair, connecting them, just for a little while with Blaine sound asleep. But he would have to snap out of it and return to the real world. The world where he was engaged to Benjamin, and where he was supposed to be thrilled about arranging his own wedding in a not so far future.

____________________________________________________________________________ 

The first thing Blaine's fuzzy mind registered the next morning was the promising smell of coffee. He was lying stretched out on the couch, now unfolded to a fairly comfortable bed. He only vaguely remembered Kurt helping him before he had passed out. He didn't even remember watching Annie to the end. What fun company he had been!

He stretched and tried to see who was stirring around in the kitchen. Ally was making breakfast and it sounded like Kurt was in the shower.

He tried to sit up straight, just to give his body a gentle reminder that it was supposed to move again.

"Hey sleepyhead," Ally said cheerful when she discovered his messy hair peeping up from the couch. "I'll have breakfast ready in ten."

Blaine rubbed his face. "What time is it? I feel like I'm late for something."

"It's almost 9 o'clock, and Kurt would have been telling us off if it wasn't because he overslept too."

"Well now I feel guilty. I'm pretty sure I have slept more hours than he has."

Ally snorted as she set the table. "I know. I think both you and I fell asleep in his arms."

Blaine got up and put some pants on. "Well it's his fault, you know. He could just stop being such a good cuddler."

"He is, isn't he?" Ally said with a funny wrinkle on her nose. "And he gives amaaazing foot massages."

"God yes," Blaine gushed, clearly remembering blissful cuddling sessions from high school. He walked around in the room for awhile trying to shake off the soreness from yesterday's run and found a clean t-shirt to wear.

When Kurt later joined them at the table Blaine's heart lost a beat, only one beat, and only because he wasn't fully prepared. It was not that Kurt was wearing something out of the ordinary, and he hadn't coiffed his hair differently, but there was this strong presence around him, something different. Kurt caught his stare and Blaine had to blink a couple of times before landing on his feet again.

Kurt sat down with a subtle smile and took the first sip of coffee with a content expression on his face, then he turned to Blaine. "So, did you sleep alright?" he asked. "I still think it's ridiculous that you won't switch places with me during the week, you should take the bed tonight."

"I've slept like a stone," Blaine answered, "so no need to worry. But I don't completely recall making my own bed."

Kurt smirked unmistakable. "Well you wasn't very helpful, I will reveal that much. I think you could have slept standing, so I figured it was okay that I helped you out."

Blaine nodded sheepishly.

"Speaking of which," Kurt continued and pointed at Ally and Blaine with his knife. "The two of you suck at watching movies. You would never survive a marathon of any kind."

"We know, we know," Ally apologized with a pout, "and we're really, really sorry, right Blaine?" Blaine nodded quickly. "Very," he confirmed.

"It wouldn't have happened if we had watched Moulin Rouge though," Ally continued innocently.

Blaine side eyed Kurt, who lifted his chin like he always did when he got defensive about something. "Of course you would have fallen asleep, don't make this about the movie," he bickered.

It had been an awkward moment, yesterday, about that. Blaine had felt it just as strong as Kurt apparently had. Moulin Rouge was a no go. Blaine had actually not seen it since their high school days. It had not felt right, and now he didn't want to jinx it. Besides, he would hardly survive if he was supposed to see it together with Kurt anyway.

After breakfast they sat down and discussed the focus scenes for the day. It was smaller scenes compared to yesterday, but once they were done, half the script would be done. Blaine had written 8 songs so far, and he would have to write at least 4 more. Maybe they would reprise parts along the way, but new material was still required.

They agreed to do the big scene with Cordelia's "Ode To Life" on Wednesday, and the rest of Coalan's song for Cordelia Thursday. Friday was destined to be about a lot of pick-up scenes.

Kurt started writing "filler" dialogues and Ally focused on smaller designs for extras, thing that would be easy to design and easy to sew and adjust. Blaine headed for the bedroom to work on a reprise and the beginning of the Overture.

It didn't take long before Kurt tiptoed into the bedroom and started writing on his laptop. Blaine turned and smiled at him.

"It's just … very inspiring to write to your music," Kurt mumbled through a subtle smile, his blue eyes glued to the computer screen again.

Blaine got all warm inside and nodded. "You're welcome," he said softly.

"Thank you," Kurt whispered.

Blaine continued, and slowly the connection between some of the songs showed. After a couple of hours he got up and fetched Kurt something to drink.

"You wanna hear what I've written so far?" Kurt asked as he thankfully took the glass of juice Blaine handed him.

"Sure," Blaine said and got seated on the bed.

Kurt started reading. He altered his voice along the way, from the wicked high pitched witches to the very soft voice of Cordelia that only spoke of hope and flowers. Again Blaine chuckled at the witty remarks that once in awhile popped up. Kurt knew how to work an audience and the writing was so skillful.

"This is amazing, Kurt," he said. "Maybe we could put some music to it. I don't mean like an actual song, but some of the lines could be sung with funny quirky tunes."

Kurt moved a bit closer and sat up more straight. "That would work perfectly I think," he said and lingered in the eye contact for a long strong moment.

Blaine's heart started racing like crazy, he couldn't handle having Kurt this close. It felt so much nicer than it should. Blaine licked his lips and noticed how the blue stare caught the motion. Then Kurt found his eyes again and a sad expression drifted through like a cloud blocking the sun for a split second.

"I'll go get this printed out," Kurt said with a broken voice and snapped back to the computer screen. Then he lifted his chin and smiled at Blaine like nothing had happened. "And then I think I'm on the lunch-team today."

Blaine nodded weak and smiled back as he tried to force his heartbeat back to a normal pace. When Kurt had left the room, he slid down on the bed and covered his eyes with his arm. This shouldn't be happening. He had promised himself that he wouldn't go there. They had promised each other, hadn't they? But all his willpower disappeared when Kurt was close, and all reason disappeared in the memory of how those lips had tasted, how falling into his arms always had felt like home. It was painful and real, so close and yet further away than ever. Because he couldn't; he was not the one being with Kurt. He was not the one being engaged to him, he was not the one lucky enough to marry him.

A message buzzed from his phone and Blaine forced himself to check in to reality.

 

From Cooper

-Hey Bee. Can I bring dinner for you guys tonight? Then you can keep on working and I can get to see you for a couple of hours.

 

Blaine smiled. He would never be tired of Cooper looking after him. It was nice and it meant something for both of them.

He got up and walked out to the kitchen. "Is it alright if Cooper comes over tonight? He will bring food."

Kurt and Ally turned at the same time. "Sure," Ally said and Kurt nodded in agreement.

"Thanks," Blaine said and texted back.

 

To Cooper

-You're welcome. Just bring something delicious. We deserve it ;-)

______________________________________________________________________________________________ 

By the time Cooper had been in the loft for an hour Blaine knew that it was all he needed. His brother had a tendency to say things that was so lame, that the three of them burst into laughter. He always winked at Blaine right before he delivered the worst lines, and Blaine had to literally dry tears from his eyes more than once. It lifted the mood around the table and it felt liberating to let the musical go for a couple of hours.

"Oh, I've got some really good news, by the way," Cooper said when things had calmed down a bit and they were too full to move or laugh anymore.

Blaine raised his eyebrows curiously.

"I've landed you guys a decent donation and a future sponsor," he said beamingly.

"Really?" Kurt asked excited.

Cooper nodded. "You will have a donation for $20,000 dollars now; and a down payment each month for $10,000 dollars, which means you can hire some extra help when it's needed, or you can spend some more money on costumes."

Ally, Blaine and Kurt just looked at Cooper, jaws dropped and no words to speak.

Blaine was the first one to snap out. "Cooper, who would donate that kind of money into an off-off Broadway musical?" he asked squinting.

Cooper hesitated long enough for Blaine to realize that something was up, but he had never in a million years expected what he was told next.

"Dad has," Cooper answered simply, "or his company has. But it will be a fair and square contract with advertising obligations like every other sponsorship."

Blaine frowned, as thousands of thoughts ran through his mind. "What have you said to him, Coops?"

"It's not what you think, Bee, and if you'll just hear me out, you'll see he has the best of intentions."

Kurt rubbed the small of Blaine's back. "Ally and I can do the dishes now, then you guys can talk in private if you need."

Blaine nodded and cleared his throat, feeling thrown by this news. "Maybe we could go for a walk, Coops. I haven't been outside all day," he suggested.

"Let's do that," Cooper said and gave Kurt an appreciative smile.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

The cool air felt nice on burning cheeks and troubled minds. Blaine took a deep breath before they started walking, trying to sort out what he really felt about this. "Look, it's not that I want to be defensive or anything," he started, "but the man goes from not approving of my choice of college and my choice of career, to suddenly financially supporting a project I hardly will make any money of until a couple of years ahead; if we are lucky. Can you blame me for feeling that I just got bought?"

"No, I'm not blaming you, ever," Cooper answered calmly, "but things are changing, Blaine, you're just not aware of it yet, because you haven't been involved."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Dad has been in touch with me ever since Christmas."

"To check up on me I presume."

"No, to make sure you were alright and that you were happy. He want you to do well; even though you don't believe that right now."

"Then why has he always made me feel like I wasn't good enough?"

Cooper's blue eyes contained nothing but understanding. "Don't you think he has done the same thing to me? You think he just disapproved because you turned out to be gay, but I don't remember him applauding me for anything either."

"Then why are we even doing this? We don't need him," Blaine said beggingly.

"Because he is reaching out," Cooper explained. "I don't know if anything specific has happened, I can't get mom to say anything, but something has changed, and I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt."

"How have you been in contact? Is he emailing or calling?"

"He is calling, a couple of times a week. Not asking for anything or giving any advice I didn't want in the first place. He tells me something about his business and things he has read or seen, things he and mom have done, and then he asks about us."

Blaine got worried. This seemed so off. "You don't think he's sick, do you?"

Cooper shook his head. "Mom has promised me that nothing is wrong, and I'll have to take her word for it." Cooper put an arm around his younger brothers shoulder. "Tell me what you're thinking, Bee."

Blaine shrugged. "I don't know. I just feel that if I take his money, I owe him something in return. Maybe not at first, but later he could turn it around, and I don't like to owe him anything. I want to do this on my own. I want to prove that no matter what he thinks of me or my career choices I can do it without him. I don't need him anymore."

"Blaine you don't have to take the money if you don't want to. It's your choice. All I feel obligated to say is that things are changing. I think he is really trying, for the first time ever. Maybe you could call him, or I could make him call you. Then you can make a decision later."

"I'll think about it," Blaine said lost in his own thoughts. "I promise."

"That's all I'm asking," Cooper said with a genuine smile.

Cooper was so much like their dad in appearance, the same blue piercing eyes and the boyish smile, but their personalities couldn't be more different. Their dad was an ambitious businessman with an impeccable image, at all times collected and calculative. Cooper on the other hand had been indecisive and dreamy up until he landed his current job in New York. There was something playful about him that had never really changed, something Blaine hoped never would change.

When they returned to the loft Cooper was invited to stay for movie night, but he was meeting up with the guys from work, and had to leave.

When he was gone Blaine felt overwhelmed by this new information about his dad and he didn't say much. But Kurt and Ally seemed to understand perfectly and they took care of him in the sweetest way possible. As soon as they started watching "Chicago", Kurt pulled him closer like it was the most natural thing in the world, letting Blaine rest his head on his shoulder like the night before. Once in a while he caressed Blaine's hand or his arm, just to let him know he was there.

When Ally went to bed she kissed his cheek and ruffled his hair. "See you tomorrow, sweetie," she whispered. "Everything is going to be alright."

"I know," Blaine said thankful. "And I promise I'll be fun to hang with again."

"Don't worry about it, beauty," she said with a smile and went to bed.

Kurt moved to one end of the couch and put a pillow on his lap, prompting Blaine to lie down. They didn't say anything important to each other. Kurt just put on another movie and ran his hand through the dark soft hair.

Blaine decided to let go and very soon he drifted off to a place where his dad maybe could be proud of him and approve of his choices.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, please review - and then I'll be back Wednesday ;-)
> 
> Love Melissa


	10. Come What May

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Wednesday is here!
> 
> I had an amazing trip to London and I did get to meet Chris. It was all I had imagined and more ;-)
> 
> Now back to "A Song For Cordelia."
> 
> This is the second half of boot camp and it's about time Blaine and Benjamin meet!

"Do you think you can handle it, Anderson?" Kurt asked and squinted. He was pulling his best poker face, determined not to break.

Blaine nodded slowly from across the table before making a head roll. "I'm sure I can handle it, Mr. Hummel."

"Only the toughest ones pull through, you know that?" Kurt drummed his fingers against the table.

"I'm tough enough," Blaine answered, lifting his chin and chewing gum with a snap of his jaw.

"What if you fail?" Kurt cracked his knuckles as he made a twitch with his upper lip.

Blaine pointed his lips not to smile. "An Anderson never fails," he then managed to say with steel in his eyes.

"That's what they always say, but this is hard core song writing, it's not for everybody."

"Well I'm not everybody, and I'm ready."

"Ready for what!"

"For writing Cordelia's song."

"I can't hear you!"

"I'm ready for writing Cordelia's song."

"Then go!"

Blaine got up so fast that his chair fell over before he ran into the bedroom and shut the door.

"I don't think I have words for what just happened between the two of you," Ally said slowly, "and I'm not sure I want to know."

Kurt shot her a warm smile. "Don't pretend like you're not just as crazy, girl, and to be honest, all I care about right now is to see him happy again."

Ally went to the table and squeezed Kurt's shoulder. "I know," she said, "he really is something."

Kurt pulled out his laptop and started writing the dialogue of the day, as he secretly side eyed her.

She smirked, but said no more.

After an hour of unfocused work Kurt gave up and snuck into the bedroom to write. It calmed him down and gave him an opportunity to cheer on Blaine as the song of Cordelia's heartbreak formed. Right before lunch Blaine had finished the song, and Kurt was in awe of the result.

"What do you think?" Blaine asked with big, honest eyes.

"I think it's the most beautiful of them all, Blaine, that's what I think."

Blaine bit his lip before a shy smile put the sun and the stars in his eyes. "Thank you," he mumbled happily.

After a quick lunch Blaine went to the gym. It had been easier to write Cordelia's song than he had imagined. Apparently the song had been there, in his heart and in his head, all along.

He worked himself hard and stopped thinking about anything for a while. Every worry, and every confusion the last days had presented him for, whether it was about his dad or his feelings for Kurt, disappeared for a while. The shower washed it all down the drain and when he stepped out of the gym, hair still damp, he felt strong and focused again.

In the loft Ally had already started making dinner and Blaine went to the bedroom to get rid of his bag. Kurt was lying, spread eagle on the bed, sound asleep. Blaine stopped by the sight and let the shiver, running through his body, wear off until he could move again. Kurt was breathtakingly beautiful. His face all relaxed and calm, and his chest rising and falling with every breath. His neck was stretched out, lean and milky white, with the pulse moving like a subtle heartbeat right underneath his jaw line.

Blaine was falling in love with him, faster than the first time, or maybe he had never fallen out of love. Maybe his heart had kept on struggling with its own purpose all these years, so determined to come back home.

Blaine found a blanket that he gently tucked around Kurt, afraid he might disturb him or wake him up. And with one last forbidden look he closed the door behind him and went to the kitchen to join Ally.

"Can I help you," he asked and looked at the delicious meal she was cooking.

"Sure," she said cheerful. "Fred is coming for dinner, so I'm making his favorite dish, salmon wrapped in prosciutto with pesto and fried vegetables."

"Sounds amazing," Blaine gushed. "Can I chop anything?"

"Chop away honey bun."

Blaine washed his hands, found a cutting board and a good knife. "I'm looking forward to get to know Fred," he said and got started on the fresh carrots in front of him.

"That's so sweet of you to say that," Ally replied with spark in her green eyes. "He is the best, Blaine, and even though I really enjoy these days with you guys, I miss him alot. We're usually not away from each other for very long."

"That sounds like love to me," Blaine said with a gentle smile.

"It is," Ally answered. "I don't want anybody else. I don't think I'll ever find anyone who gets me the way he does. He's not freaked out by my quirks and weird ways of thinking, and every time I tell him that I just need more fabric, or sewing equipment, he totally agrees." Her eyes grew big and her red hair framed her blushing cheeks in a cute way.

"Then make sure you hold on to him, and try not to do anything stupid," Blaine added quietly.

"I'll never let him go, Blaine." She stole a couple of chopped carrots from his cutting board. "What about you?" she asked with a tilted head. "Anybody special in your life?"

Blaine glanced at her. He was not sure how much she had picked up on the tension between him and Kurt, but he decided to play it innocent. "No, not yet," he answered. "I've been on a couple of dates here in New York, but nothing that has been worth repeating really. Right now I don't have the time anyway. I would be a terrible boyfriend with all the things I'm trying to keep on my plate."

"You have to make time for love, Blaine." Ally touched him lightly on his arm, forcing him to stop working.

"I know, but I need to be swept off of my feet, or else I'll rather stay single."

"I'm sure you will be swept off of your feet, just wait and see," she assured.

They worked for awhile in silence. There was one question Blaine was dying to ask her, but he was afraid it would reveal too much of his own struggles. "What is Benjamin like?" he finally asked, all focus still on the chopping board in front of him. "Kurt never really talks about him, and I need to know that Kurt is happy … as his friend, I mean."

Ally cleared her throat and blew a lock of hair away from her eyes. "Um, I know Benjamin loves Kurt very much. If he could buy him the world he would do that. It's just that … most of the time Kurt doesn't really want the world, he just wants his worlds to connect."

"What do you mean?" Blaine asked.

"Benjamin is not a part of the theater world at all. He will happily attend every show Kurt is a part of, but besides that he doesn't really get the magic of the performing art. Benjamin is good at dinners, exclusive clothing, the right location for an estate, and spoiling Kurt. But he doesn't blend very well with the rest of Kurt's friends. Santana and Benjamin is an absolute no-go. Santana can't stand him, and as you know she is not a girl who keeps her opinions under wraps."

Blaine chuckled. "No, that has never been her forte."

"I mean, I know how to handle Benjamin, but he and Fred couldn't be more different, so double dates don't happen. Kurt and I have given up on that account. But I know they get together with Rachel and Mark from time to time, and besides that they are close with a lot of Benjamin's friends."

"Do you think Kurt loves him back?" Blaine asked with a beating heart, knowing he probably was overstepping.

Ally sighed and dried her hands on her purple apron. "You are entering a dangerous territory here, Blaine, and I will not betray Kurt in any way. I have to believe that he loves Benjamin. I don't see why he would agree to marry him if he didn't love him." She hesitated. "But sometimes I can't help wondering if Kurt doesn't deserve more."

Blaine held his breath for a moment before he dared say what was on his mind now. "If I, for some reason can't be here for Kurt," he said with a thick voice, "will you promise me to look after him?"

The sad expression in Ally's eyes caught Blaine off guard and he frantically searched for his footing again.

"I promise," she said, and then she bumped his shoulder in a playful way, and the sadness was gone as quickly as it had appeared. "But you better stick around, boy. I've gotten quite attached to you."

Blaine kissed her cheek and jumped to the sliding door when a knock interrupted them.

"That must be Fred," Ally said happy.

Blaine pushed the door aside and expected the easy going carpenter on the other side, but instead a good looking guy with blond, slightly ruffled hair and grey eyes was staring back at him. He seemed just as surprised to see Blaine but then a full force smile appeared in the handsome face.

"You must be Blaine Anderson," the man said and offered a firm handshake. "I'm Benjamin, Kurt's fiancé."

"Oh, hello," Blaine managed to stutter as he invited Benjamin inside with a hand gesture. His mouth went dry as an invisible iron hand squeezed around his heart. Up until this moment Benjamin had been nothing but a blurry character somewhere in Kurt's life. Someone Blaine knew existed, but hadn't been forced to deal with yet.

"Hi Benjamin," Ally said with badly hidden surprise. "I didn't know you were coming over tonight."

Benjamin passed her a bottle of red wine and winked. "You know how Kurt can be. He is so stubborn when it comes to work; afraid that I might distract him, I'm sure." Benjamin looked around in the apartment. "Where is he by the way?" he asked curious.

"He's taking a nap," Blaine said and pointed to the bedroom door, still trying to figure out what to do with himself.

"Well sleeping sure won't get the work done," the blond said teasingly.

Blaine felt a strong need to defend Kurt, and it was stupid really, the guy only tried to break the ice, so he decided to shut up.

Now Fred peeked in through the door.

"Fred," Benjamin said a bit strained and nodded. "I guess I'm not the only one butting in today."

Fred squinted. "Hi Benjamin, well I was invited so that doesn't really count as a butt-in, does it?"

Benjamin forced a laugh and Ally gave Blaine a knowingly look.

"I think I will go in and kiss the sleeping beauty then," Benjamin said and excused himself.

Blaine's heart was beating fiercely by now. Images of Benjamin and Kurt kissing felt like fire in his veins. He was obviously losing his mind completely. He had no right to be jealous, but he was, big time. He turned around a busied himself with a conversation with Fred instead, yet all his attention was pointed to the closed bedroom door.

______________________________________________________________________________________ 

For a split moment, when soft lips were pressed against his mouth, Kurt thought it was Blaine kissing him. But then everything got twisted and felt wrong; the scent, the sensation and the way his body responded. He jerked up and was met by Benjamin's amused gray eyes instead of the golden warm stare that had followed him, asleep and awake for the last couple of day.

"Jeez, Ben," he gasped, and sat up straight in the bed. "You scared the shit out of me. What are you doing here?" He ran a shaky hand through his hair and tried to adjust to reality.

"Is that a way to greet your lover?" Benjamin asked mockingly.

"No, of course not." Kurt responded with a weak smile. "I was just sleeping heavily, I guess."

"And here I was, thinking that you worked night and day."

"We have worked night and day," Kurt said still dizzy and sleepy.

Benjamin sat down next to him on the bed. "If I had known Fred was going to be here, I might have chosen another day to drop by though."

Kurt raised his eyebrows, determined not to give in when the subject was Fred. "If you had called and told me you were coming, I could have enlightened you," he said drily and got up to fix his clothes.

"Come on, honey," Benjamin said and grabbed his hand. "Let's not fight now that I'm here."

Kurt reluctantly moved closer, suddenly freezing now that he had left the comfortable warmth of the blanket. "I don't want to fight either," he said. "Just try to make this a good night, even if Fred isn't your cup of tea."

"I'll behave," Benjamin said with a pout and gave Kurt's back a rub. "Oh, and I've met Blaine."

"Oh ... I see," Kurt stuttered. He suddenly realized the extent of the catastrophe this night potentially might be heading towards. And whatever tension Benjamin and Fred had going on it was nothing compared to the minor detail that Benjamin still didn't know the truth about Blaine.

Kurt braced himself and tried to smile convincingly to Benjamin before they walked out to the living room.

Blaine, Fred and Ally were all busy setting the table and getting dinner ready. Blaine seemed quiet and Ally and Fred were catching up on different plans for the weekend. It became obvious within minutes that the dynamic and the atmosphere in the loft had changed to something forced and guarded, and Kurt hated that. He couldn't get eye contact with Blaine and it made his heart so uneasy.

He was even more on pins and needles as they started to eat. This could go wrong in more ways than he could count, and unless he could get a private moment with Blaine, trying to explain everything, there was no way he could prevent the inevitable.

"So how are things going with the play," Fred asked and winked to Ally.

Ally's eyes grew big with excitement. "We're really far," she said and started eating. "Blaine is doing an amazing job, connecting all the dots. We couldn't have done it without him."

Benjamin frowned. "I thought Kurt was the one in charge, I mean, he is the writer after all, right?"

Kurt shot Benjamin an upset glare, but Blaine was the one answering before any real damage was done.

"You're completely right, Benjamin. I'm just here to make Kurt and Ally's dreams come true." Blaine's expression was open and honest. "And to tell you the truth I'm blown away by their talents, it's an honor to be a part of it."

Benjamin side eyed Kurt. "I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to offend you or anything," he assured Blaine.

"I'm not offended at all," Blaine said and smiled.

"How do you guys work together?" Fred asked curious. "Do you have a method or a schedule?"

"It depends on the scene," Kurt answered, happy that the first crisis had been avoided. "If it's a central scene we make a brainstorm in order to figure out what is important and how to incorporate certain things in the costumes and in the music. Then we go apart and work on our own areas for a while until we fit everything together, like puzzle pieces. It would never have been half as good if I had worked all alone."

"Don't you disagree from time to time?" Benjamin asked.

Ally, Kurt and Blaine looked at each other. "No," they said in unison before they started to laugh.

Fred squeezed Ally's hand and smiled, but Benjamin didn't seem satisfied with the answer. "It just feels weird, doesn't it?" he said. "Somebody must have given up on their pet peeves along the way. Nobody agrees all the time."

"Well, this is not a competition, Ben," Kurt said and sipped to the wine in his glass.

"But you've always said that NYADA was one of the most competitive places in New York, so you can hardly say that the musical business isn't competitive."

"But these three aren't exactly auditioning for the same role," Fred commented dryly. "They are working together to make a product that's good enough to compete with other musicals."

Benjamin rolled his eyes. "I get that, Fred."

Kurt suddenly felt so tired. He didn't need this kind of drama right now and there was a reason why Ally and he kept their significant others apart most of the time. Somehow Fred brought the worst sides of Benjamin out in clear daylight. He never behaved like this when he was alone with Kurt, or when he spent time with his own friends. It was a matter of chemistry and it always left Ally and Kurt exhausted.

"It's more like three creative heads are doing better than one. Isn't it the same thing in the estate business?" Again Blaine was gently guiding the conversation forward.

Benjamin looked at him in sheer astonishment. "No," he said, "It's the opposite, actually. If you don't get the idea first or the sale first, you're screwed."

"That must be stressful," Blaine stated with a frown.

"It can be, but I love the thrill of the game," Benjamin explained. Then he squinted at Blaine. "Where do you come from by the way?"

By that simple question the conversation had made a u-turn and was now heading in a disastrous direction. Kurt tried to make eye contact with Blaine, but he just looked at Benjamin instead with an expression Kurt could hardly read.

"I'm from Westerville, Ohio," Blaine answered amused.

"Oh, what a coincidence." Benjamin smiled. "Kurt is from Ohio too. Did you know that?"

Finally Kurt had Blaine's full attention. He silently asked that question Kurt would have given anything to answer in private, but all he could do right now was pleading Blaine for forgiveness and understanding with his desperate stare.

Blaine blinked a couple of times and then his attention shifted back to Benjamin. "Yes, we've talked about Ohio. What about you? Where are you from?" he asked, moving the conversation smoothly away from him and Kurt.

Benjamin sat up straight in the chair, pride seeping through his answer. "I was born and raised in New York, and I'm going to die here too. I cannot imagine living anywhere else."

"What if Kurt got a job in Chicago or had a big opportunity in LA, you would surely have to take that into consideration." Fred once more found a way to push Benjamin.

"Kurt loves it here in New York, don't you honey?" Benjamin asked and put his arm around Kurt's shoulder.

"Yes," Kurt answered tired, "I like New York."

When all safe subject to discuss for the evening was emptied, Fred stretched. "Well, we better let you guys get back to work," he said and stroke Ally's cheek. "Thank you for an amazing dinner, baby."

"Oh, are you going to work more today?" Benjamin asked surprised.

"Yes," Kurt said quickly, "definitely".

Ally nodded convincingly to back him up.

"Okay," Benjamin said disappointed. "I guess I'll be heading home too then." He got up and smiled to Ally and Blaine. "Thank you for a lovely night."

"You're welcome," she replied and Blaine nodded.

When Kurt joined him and they went to the door to say goodbye, Blaine got really busy with the dishes. The last thing he needed right now was to witness a kiss.

Ally and Fred helped clear the table and then she whispered: "I'm going to follow Fred down, is that okay?"

"Of course," he said, "just take your time." He glanced once at the door and realized that Benjamin already had gone. At least it hadn't been a long smooch of goodnight then. Maybe it had just been a peck on the cheek.

Kurt joined him, filled up the sink and added soap to the water, as Blaine got hold of a towel, ready to dry the clean dishes.

After a moment of silence, Kurt spoke up first. "Thank you for saving my sorry little ass tonight."

"You're welcome," Blaine answered mildly. "I trust you have a good reason to keep quiet about our past."

Kurt's shoulders slouched. "I'm not sure if it's a good reason. I never planned not to tell him. It was just …. when we first met again, I needed to figure out if we could work together without having Ben hovering over me out of jealousy. And as time passed it became more and more awkward, and now I can't seem to find the right moment." Kurt changed his voice and made a funny expression. "Benjamin, this is Blaine, he was the love of my life in high school, is it okay if I work really close with him again?" Blaine snorted and Kurt facepalmed. "It's just not the easiest thing to say, right?"

Their smiles wore off again as they kept on working in silence. Then Blaine cleared his throat, suddenly aware of the closeness between them. "So I was the love of your life?"

"Of course you were," Kurt said softly.

"You were the love of my life too."

"I know, Blaine." Kurt's smile was subtle but really sweet.

"If I was Benjamin I would be jealous," Blaine continued after a while.

"I know, and it makes me a horrible, horrible person," Kurt moaned.

"No," Blaine chuckled, "but maybe you should be the one telling him before someone else does. It's just one tiny slip and it will be out there. Imagine Santana or Rachel in the same room as Benjamin."

Kurt whimpered by the thought. "That's just not going to happen. Look, I'll tell him after boot camp, I promise."

Blaine bumped Kurt's shoulder gently "Well, until you tell him, your secret's safe with me, but I just might take advantage of you in the meantime."

Kurt giggled. "I'm not one to complain, but now we're discussing this subject how are things with you ... in the dating department?"

Blaine smirked. "Um … I've dated a couple of guys here in New York, nothing too serious though."

"You have?" Kurt asked with big blue eyes, looking ridiculously cute in all his badly hidden puzzlement.

Blaine laughed. "You seem so surprised."

Kurt closed his mouth and lifted his chin. "No, I'm not surprised … I just … I didn't know, that's all."

"If you say so," Blaine shrugged teasingly.

"What kind of guys?"

Blaine took his time. "Oh, just, you know, tall, handsome, really HOT guys."

Kurt splashed soap on Blaine. "Of course," he said and rolled his eyes.

"Guys, who satisfy me in bed and makes me scream their name when I come."

"God you're so ridiculous," Kurt said and gathered more soap in his hands.

Blaine entered the fight with his own armor of bubbles and open war was declared.

"I see the mood has lifted significantly in here." Ally's voice startled them both and they turned around to face her with sheepish smiles and foam-smeared hair.

"Doing the dishes doesn't have to be boring," Kurt answered coyly as Blaine tried to shape a new hairdo in his curls, ending up looking like a puddle.

Ally slumped down on a chair. "To be fair I'd say that Fred and Benjamin tried today."

"I guess." Kurt shrugged, not seeming that impressed. "I think Blaine had a good influence on them, actually."

Blaine frowned. "What have I done?"

Kurt burst a laugh and ran his hand through Blaine's hair to put it down again.

"You mean besides being diplomatic and open minded?" Ally asked and winked.

"I didn't do anything," Blaine trailed off.

"Yes you did," Ally said, "and then you really covered well for Kurt's minor decision not to enlighten Benjamin about certain issues from his past."

Kurt glared at Ally. "That is a business between me and Benjamin … and maybe Blaine, and we've already covered it, so you don't have to worry."

Ally waved her hands in surrender. "I'm not worried, not at all, actually."

Kurt bit his bottom lip and blushed.

"So are we working some more?" Blaine asked, not willing to let the good mood be ruined that easily.

"God no," Ally gasped. "We deserve our movie tonight just as much as any other night. What do you guys want to see?"

Kurt was the first one to answer, clearly finding his confidence again. "I would really love to see "Les Mis".

"I'm in," Blaine said happy and turned to Ally.

She squinted. "I'm in too, on one condition."

Kurt raised his eyebrows.

"That we get to see Moulin Rouge tomorrow. It will be our last night together, and I need to see it."

"Okay," Kurt said with a shrug.

"Okay?" Blaine asked with big eyes.

"Yeah, why not? The story is great, the costumes are explicit and we love those dancing hoes, right?" Kurt said with a blank face.

Blaine scratched the nape of his neck. "Well I guess we're watching Moulin Rouge tomorrow then."

Ally rested her head on her fist. "Guys, one of these days I'm going to figure out what it is with you and that musical."

"There's nothing," Kurt assured her, and got up to find the snacks.

________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

Thing were getting pretty hectic the next day; as if they all had realized that boot camp was coming to an end, and that they needed to push it all the way through to fulfill their goals for the week. Kurt was printing page after page of dialogue and scene descriptions, constantly editing and updating their script folders. With papers all over the table he could suddenly grab a certain sheet and hurry to the bedroom where Blaine was composing. Then he would ask if a specific line could be incorporated; and every time Blaine would follow him and completely get why that line was so important to add.

Other times Blaine would come and fetch Kurt because he needed him to sing a passage, or needed them to sing something together. Especially when it came to Coalan's song Blaine would keep Kurt around most of the time. He needed it to be perfect and he wanted to make sure the song matched Kurt's vocal range completely.

Kurt had gotten used to Blaine recording most of what they were singing, and he didn't feel so hesitant anymore. It was intoxicating to give every feeling an outlet and not be embarrassed, or over think it, but just trust that they would hit the perfect song or the perfect line in the creative search.

Once in awhile Blaine would teach him some of the chords so they could play together. Those were the moments Kurt treasured more than anything. Sitting close together, hands brushing and heads almost touching could spiral Kurt out of this universe. To be the source of the soft smile on Blaine's lips or making him laugh so hard that the corners of his eyes wrinkled, became a reward in itself for Kurt.

He knew he was supposed to fight it and not lose track of his life, but he didn't want to fight, he wanted to drown instead. The only thing that held him back was Ally, and then the guilt that sometimes threatened to take over and crush him. He knew Ally wasn't blind and no matter how subtle he tried to be he was aware that so many things gave him away. He just didn't know how to change things back, he didn't know how to stop falling in love.

Once you fall - gravity doesn't offer a return.

Ally was done with all sketches and now she was constructing patterns and writing endless lists of fabrics she wanted to buy. There was so much work ahead of her, but she had connections enough to help her through most of the ordeal.

Around 7 pm Blaine claimed that he didn't have one more note left in his brain. He ordered some dinner for them, while Ally and Kurt wrapped up for the day. They were all exhausted, but happy and satisfied at the same time.

After a decent Chinese meal and a bottle of cheap wine shared, they were ready for the last movie night. Blaine pulled out the couch and made it to a bed from starters, and Ally fetched a ton of blankets and duvets. They bundled up and made themselves comfortable before diving in completely in the love story between Christian and Satine.

Blaine held his guards up for a while. There was so much Kurt in every line and every note sung. Ally commented on the costumes from time to time and it helped him distancing himself from the flood of feelings, but before he knew it the first fragile chords to "Come What May" filled the loft and vibrated against his heart.

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place

Suddenly it moved with such a perfect pace

Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste

It all revolves around you

Blaine fought the tears; he really did, but they snuck up on him, welling in his eyes. When Kurt found his hand under the blanket they shared and laced their fingers together, he gave up and let the tears fall. He couldn't win, no matter what he did, there was no way out of loving Kurt, but he couldn't. Kurt was not his to love.

They both clung on to each other as if their lives depended on it, reassuring each other - but of what, exactly?

And there's no mountain too high

No river too wild

Sing out my song and I'll be there by your side

Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide

But I love you – until the end of time

Blaine still remembered promises whispered in the dark more than 5 years ago. Promises about this particular song, and now it was all lost. No matter how close Kurt held his hand, they had lost what they once had.

Ally was sobbing on the other side of Kurt.

"Well this was your idea," Kurt said to her with a thick voice. "Now you have to go through it, just like us."

"I know," Ally said and reached for a napkin. "But it's so beautiful, and you can't run away from love that beautiful just because it's hard and just because it's against all odds." She blew her nose. "Some things are just meant to be, you know."

Blaine could hardly breathe. He had to move, he had to do something to let go of Kurt's hand again. He dried his eyes and offered to get drinks and snacks for everyone, just to shake the moment.

When he returned it was easier to relax again and cuddling with Kurt didn't feel so cramped, or out of place as the movie continued.

They jumped right to special features as soon as the credits rolled over the screen, but Ally had to give up after ten minutes and stumbled into bed.

After a while the voices from the different interviews became blurred and Blaine closed his drowsy eyes.

When he woke up again it only felt like a moment later, but the tv was switched off and only one single lamp was spreading a dimmed light in the livingroom.

He could feel Kurt's warm body right next to him, breathing calmly. They were both lying on the bed. Blaine's head was resting on a pillow up close to Kurt's chest. He could feel the weight of Kurt's arm over his waist and their legs lightly intertwined.

His own arms were tucked into Kurt's side, like he was seeking comfort, or trying to hide from something around them. He froze for a moment as every sensation gathered to something logical. He didn't remember how they ended up here, but if Kurt didn't like it he would probably have gotten into his own bed.

The scent of Kurt's cologne settled like a calming feeling in his stomach and he inhaled until he got dizzy. It's weird how much memories are connected to scents, like the scent in itself was a feeling.

Kurt stirred a bit and Blaine was just waiting for him to wake up and excuse himself before leaving, probably feeling that Blaine had overstepped his physical boundaries.

Kurt moved his hand from Blaine's waist and up to his back. "Just tell me if you want me to leave," he suddenly whispered, "I'm kind of cramping up your space here."

Blaine's heart beat faster. "I don't want you to leave," he whispered back.

"Then I'm staying, at least until Ally get's up in the morning. She would never let me hear the end of it if she found us like this."

"I know."

Kurt kissed his hair and relaxed again. Blaine couldn't sleep right away. He was so scared that everything would disappear if he closed his eyes again.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

When morning came he was alone again in his bed, tangled with nothing but sheets and blankets; and it was the most lonely feeling in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take time to review or tell some of your friends about the story ;-)
> 
> See you Sunday.
> 
> Love
> 
> Melissa


	11. Two Times Lunch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for some really heartfelt reviews 3
> 
> Now to a chapter where Ally finally speaks her mind...

"Michael... hi." Kurt panted as he picked up the phone. He was taking the stairs two at a time. Friday after they had wrapped up boot camp, Kurt had mailed a huge part of the script to Michael, leader of the Pantheon Theater Group, and he was excited to hear from him so soon.

"Hi, Kurt, how are you?"

Kurt let himself through the sliding door to the loft and put down his shoulder bag. "I'm fine, just anxious to hear what you think of the play."

Michael laughed, "I can only imagine, so I won't drag this out and make it any harder on you."

Kurt's heart was in his throat in a matter of seconds. If the play wasn't picked up now he wouldn't know what to do next. This was their best shot by far, especially if he wanted to play the part of Coalan.

"You know we read a lot of scripts throughout a year," Michael started, "and every time we have to assess how different setups will suit the group and the theater, not to mention timing and trends as well."

"Yes, of course," Kurt said as he heard his dream shake at its foundation. "I understand that."

"And this time I had a couple of my coworkers read it too."

Kurt closed his eyes and felt the seconds passing by, slow and painful.

"… are you there, Kurt?"

"Yes, yes I'm here." Then he suddenly detected the strained tone of withheld laugher in Michael's voice.

"KURT, WE LOVED THE SCRIPT!"

"What? You did?" Kurt felt the blood rush back in his veins as if it had been withheld, and all at once was granted free passage again. "Seriously, don't do something like that to me. I'm nervous enough as it is."

"I'm sorry," Michael chuckled. "I couldn't help it. I honestly cannot believe this is your first script. The storyline is amazing and the dialogue is funny and dramatic and emotional. We would be honored to pick it up."

"Oh, I didn't write it all by myself ... wait, what did you just say?" Kurt couldn't fit the words in his mouth, choking on their way out.

"We are picking up the play," Michael repeated, amused.

"You are? Oh my god, that is just so amazing!" Kurt had to sit down, feeling the excitement bubble its way into his head.

"We just have one minor challenge though."

"Minor or major, it doesn't matter," Kurt said quickly. "Just tell me what to do and I'll do it."

"We have to start casting in 2 weeks and rehearsals must begin in 4. Do you think that's a realistic timeframe?"

"No, it's not," Kurt said laughing, "but we're going to do it anyway. We didn't exactly have a realistic timeframe for writing it either, but I have the most amazing team on my side."

"Great! I honestly cannot wait to work with you, Kurt. What about the music? We've only heard two songs so far and we need to hear the rest before casting."

"Oh, of course. I'll have Blaine email you a link to the rest of the songs. You're in for a treat, by the way, he is such a brilliant composer."

"We could tell from what we heard so far. Oh, one more thing...do you want to participate in the casting?"

"I'm not sure I'll have the time for that … maybe just for Cordelia." Kurt answered.

"Of course," Michael said. "We have to find someone who can match you vocally."

Kurt smiled giddily. This was actually happening. He would be male lead in a musical he had written. He would sing Blaine's songs that were composed for him and he would wear Ally's astonishing costumes. "I can't wait to see this come true, Michael. God, I need to catch my breath for a moment. Um, what do I do next?"

"If you can email me the recordings for the rest of the songs today, I'll listen to them with a couple of the musicians tomorrow. By the end of the week, I should have the first draft for a rehearsal schedule ready."

When they had finished the call Kurt closed his eyes, feeling dizzy and ecstatic. As soon as his thoughts were coherent again, he picked up the phone and hit the icon with Blaine's happy face.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

"I assume that was good news," Cooper said when Blaine burst out from his bedroom, dancing to imaginary music with a ridiculous happy smile glued to his face. "It was the best kind of news," he said and made a twirl. "A Song for Cordelia was just officially picked up, and they didn't just like it, they LOVED it! My music, and Kurt's story and Ally's costumes will be out there for people to see. This is huge and Kurt deserves it more than anybody."

Cooper strode up to his little brother beaming and lifted him up in the air with a tight, breath depriving, bear hug. "I'm so proud of you, Bee. We should celebrate, you know."

Blaine laughed as Cooper let go of him again. "I'm all for celebrating, as long as you pay."

"I've got it covered," Cooper answered nonchalantly, his thumbs inside the band of his pants looking like a rich uncle giving his poor nephew a treat. "You just name it.. a restaurant and a movie, or whatever you want to do."

Blaine grinned, shaking his head at his brothers ridiculous pose before he walked to the dinner table and flipped up his laptop. "I just need to email some music files to this Michael guy, then we can make plans."

Cooper turned around. "Oh, you haven't talked to dad yet, have you?" The ice blue eyes narrowed in on Blaine, poking that one sore point he usually tried to avoid.

Blaine shifted uncomfortably in the chair. "Um, no … but I'll do it before we leave. I promise."

"I think that would be great."

Blaine nodded and focused on the songs he had recorded with Kurt so far. He knew Cooper was trying his best, but he was not sure his brother understood how difficult it was to do something as simple as call their dad.

When the files were emailed, the restaurant and the movie were picked out, and he had showered, he couldn't postpone the task any longer.

He gathered all his courage and returned to his bedroom, closing the door behind him.

It was still in the middle of the afternoon and his dad would most likely be occupied at work. With a bit of luck,he wouldn't even pick up and then Blaine could tell Cooper that he at least had tried.

Unfortunately, his dad picked up right away.

"Blaine, is that you?"

"Hi Dad," Blaine said surprised. "I wasn't sure if I would be able to reach you at this time of day."

"Oh, I'm here, Blaine, I was hoping you would call," his dad said happy. "Just hang on a minute and I'll sneak out of this meeting."

"But, I can call you back later if you are busy," Blaine replied quickly. "You don't have to leave a meeting just to talk to me."

"No, it's alright, I promise."

Blaine removed the phone from his ear, looking at it as if it would reveal a secret, or offer some kind of explanation for what had just happened. Why would his dad leave a meeting for this? There had to be something wrong, something he wasn't telling them. Maybe they were getting a divorce. He had no clue how things were between his parents. Mom would never admit if they were in trouble. Things like that would remain unsaid in the Anderson family.

His train of thoughts were interrupted by his dad's voice again.

"Okay, I'm back. Thanks for waiting."

"Um … you're welcome." Blaine sat down on the bed.

"How are you doing, Blaine?"

"I'm doing great, really great actually. But I have a feeling you know all about that."

"Yes, I have been talking a lot with Cooper lately. But I haven't been stalking you or anything, I just … I needed to know that you were doing okay in New York."

"Are you okay, dad?"

"Yes, yes I'm fine."

Blaine sighed. "Look, about the money for the company, I don't really know what to make of that."

"I know, Blaine, and I don't blame you, but I promise you there are no hidden agendas and I don't expect anything in return, other than the advertising obligations that the contract will contain."

Blaine laid down in the bed, following a crack in the ceiling with his eyes. "But why, dad? Why now? You didn't approved of my career choice in the first place and suddenly you want to support a play I'm composing for? Forgive me for being confused here."

"Blaine, you don't have to take the money if you're not comfortable with it, and if you decline there will be no bad feelings between us. It's your choice. But before you make a decision, could we please meet for lunch or something?" his dad pleaded. "Cooper can join us."

"Um, sure. I just don't know when we will be in Westerville the next time."

"Oh no, I'll come to New York. Maybe I can arrange some business meetings while I'm there..."

Blaine frowned, still not sure what was happening. "Dad, are you sure you're okay? You're not sick or anything, are you?"

His dad chuckled. "No, I'm fine, don't worry about it. And I will be even better if we can meet."

"Of course we can meet," Blaine said quietly.

"How about tomorrow? Do you think you can manage to squeeze it into your schedule? I know how busy you."

"Well, it would have to be around 11am. I'm teaching in the afternoon and later I have a band rehearsal."

"That'll work fine with me. I'll make sure to be there at 11."

"Great. I better check with Cooper and then we can text you about a location."

"That's amazing."

Blaine could hear the smile in his dad's voice and for the first time throughout their conversation, his hope rose. Not much, but enough to be felt and registered.

"Oh, and Blaine?"

"Hmm."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, dad."

 

To Kurt

-I just talked with my dad…

 

To Blaine

\- Was it good or bad?

 

To Kurt

-I'm not sure yet, but I think it was good.

 

To Blaine

-Then I'm happy for you. What did he want?

 

To Kurt

-He wants to come to New York and have lunch with me and Coops.

 

To Blaine

-I think that's good. Maybe things can change between the two of you.

 

To Kurt

-I'm not sure. Don't know about the money yet!

 

To Blaine

-Only take the money if you're okay with it. Ally is making a budget without the money. Take your time.

 

To Kurt

-Thanks. How are you doing?

 

A couple of minutes passed by without a reply from Kurt and Blaine almost thought he had been occupied with something else, but then one more message arrived.

 

To Blaine

-I'm doing okay … but I miss you …

 

Blaine pressed his lips hard together before he gave in to a giddy smile.

 

To Kurt

-I miss you too ;-)

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Kurt's eyes were welling with tears as he looked at the last text from Blaine. He was so confused and had all of these raw emotions hidden right underneath the surface, but quickly becoming exposed. He and Blaine had parted late Friday afternoon when boot camp had officially ended. Now Monday, it felt like they hadn't seen each other for an eternity.

It had been the longest weekend ever. Benjamin was on his way to Dubai for two weeks and Kurt was one big mess of feelings mixed with guilt. If boot camp had lasted just one more day, he would have ended up kissing Blaine. There was no escaping these feelings when Blaine was close. There was no way to prevent drowning in those amber eyes and being sucked into his light of laugher and gentle caresses.

Benjamin could tell something was up, but Kurt didn't even know what to say to him because he still didn't understand it completely himself.

So, he had to do what he did best...work until he couldn't see straight, keep his eyes on the goal, the musical, and try not to do something stupid in the meantime.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Blaine decided to walk to the music school after the lunch with his dad and Cooper. He needed the fresh air to sort out his feelings and to deal with the aftermath of the last couple of hours.

The conversation, especially between Blaine and his dad, had been strained at first. It wasn't easy to suddenly trust a man that he, years ago, had decided not to trust. He didn't think about his dad as strict or vocally loud throughout his childhood, but the high expectations put on him and Cooper had always been the fundamental tone vibrating within the four walls of their home. A man is measured by his success in business and his ability to support his family.

Dad is defined by his oc title and money in the bank – Cooper use to say when they, from time to time, had discussed the issue.

It had been a disappointment for their dad that Blaine turned out to be gay. It had never been put into so many words, but that feeling was palpable never the less. His father was not particularly religious or old fashioned, but it had somehow scarred his manhood and his perception of his son. Blaine had never expected his parents to be in love with the idea, but if his dad had at least tried to deal with it somehow, Blaine just might have thought of him as hero. But, as it turned out, his father did everything but deal with it. Things gradually had become awkward between them and eventually his dad had run out of words to say to his own son. They had become strangers to each other despite the fact that they had lived under the same roof. And his mom had been so nervous about stirring the peace in her precious family that she just pretended everything was alright.

Blaine knew his parents loved him, but the love was hollow and it left behind a feeling of not being good enough.

Kurt had been an answer to a lot of heartache by the time they met in high school. He had loved Blaine unconditionally and had offered all the acceptance Blaine had longed so desperately for all his life. Years of soul searching had made him aware of one thing: he needed to be loved, to be seen and to be assured of his worth. What his dad hadn't been able to give him, he had found in Kurt. And when Kurt suddenly had slipped away, he had searched for the love and assurance elsewhere.

Blaine shoved his hands deeper into his pockets. One thing had become very clear today though; his father's change of heart had been triggered by a very tragic event in his business partner's life. Robert's 23 year old daughter had committed suicide; a beautiful girl with a bright future ahead of her, had been so unhappy that she had made the final call. Her dad had never known about her struggles or her self-hate. He never saw it coming and the fact that he would have to live with that guilt forever had made quite an impression on Blaine's father.

Cooper and Blaine had listened in silence as their dad, with a shaky voice, had told them about the tragedy, and how the event had been a huge wake up call for him concerning his own sons. He had apologized to both of them for not showing them how much he loved them.

Blaine would never forget his dad's begging eyes as he told about all the situations where he had failed as a father, downright asking for forgiveness.

Blaine had forgiven him.

In a small café on 58th street in New York, on a Tuesday around noon, Blaine had forgiven his dad.

He knew, more than ever, how important it was to be forgiven. It didn't magically remove all the hurt from his childhood and his youth, but it was a start. He was scarred and he always would be to some extent, but he was willing to give his dad a second chance. Maybe they would stumble and fall along the way, but they would at least try.

First step would be a weekly phone call from his dad. Next step would be his parents coming to New York to watch "A Song for Cordelia". Those two steps Blaine could handle. It was within his reach and a way to learn how to let his parents into his life again.

To finally accept the sponsorship and the donation was another leap of faith he had decided to take, and he couldn't wait to tell Kurt and Ally.

He picked up his pace. He was teaching this afternoon and had to hurry now.

When Blaine arrived to the music school, Kevin and his mom weren't there yet, so he started messing around with the song, "The Evil Four". It was important that he scored both a piano version and an orchestra version. Within minutes, he had gotten so lost in placements of chords and cool riffs that he didn't notice Kevin coming through the door, listening in silence.

"Woah, hey there, pirate guy," Blaine said when he suddenly caught the movement of the boy from the corner of his eyes. "I didn't see you." Blaine smiled and scooted over. "Come sit and play with me."

Kevin's freckled cheeks rose in a curious smile. "What were you playing?"

"Oh, I'm writing a musical with some really cool friends of mine. This song is about an argument between four witches, and I'm not talking about old, crooked witches with warts. I'm talking pure evil." Blaine narrowed in on Kevin's big eyes.

"Can you teach me how to play it?" Kevin asked, a bit out of breath.

Blaine grinned. "Sure, if you want to. It might be a bit difficult at first and I'm not sure your fingers can stretch far enough, but we'll figure it out somehow."

They started with the first eight bars and as always, Kevin surprised Blaine with his ability to pick up on things right away. They worked concentrated for 20 minutes, with heated cheeks, both equally lost in the music.

"I want to write musicals with my friends,too, when I grow up," Kevin stated.

"You don't have to wait until you grow up to write music," Blaine said. "The music is there, inside of you, just as much now as it will be when you grow up. You just need to give it a voice."

"Do you think I could?"

"Absolutely. You don't have to start with a big number like this... aim a bit smaller at first. Your goal could be 8 bars of something you think sounds cool, or pretty, or evil."

Kevin looked curious at his teacher. "What are your friends' names?" he asked.

"Kurt and Ally," Blaine answered with a smile.

"What are they like?"

"Um … Ally is this very colorful girl. She loves to sew and she laughs a lot. She is making all the costumes. Kurt is … well, Kurt is this amazing guy with the most beautiful stories in his heart; stories about love."

"But also about evil," Kevin interjected with a smirk.

"Yeah, because sometimes you need evil and hardship to really understand the power of love," Blaine confessed and blinked. "But nothing beats love. It's like the king of all super powers."

Kevin squinted at him suspiciously. "Flying is pretty cool, too," he added.

Blaine laughed. "And x-ray vision."

"And freeze frame, or freeze time."

"Yep. What about running at the speed of light?"

"That one is cool, too," Kevin said thrilled. "I think I'm going to write music about super powers."

"Yay," Blaine said, high fiving his young friend.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ally took a step back from the basic sewing-pattern she just had constructed. With different alterations and variation in fabric and texture, it would be a great design for the women in the village. It was almost a week since boot camp and every day had been spent on patterns. Soon, she would have enough material to hire a couple of her friends to help her out. Some of them were working on a freelance basis for different smaller theaters, so she would be able to hire them full time. That should be enough extra help to finish the work according to the time frame they were left with. Luckily she didn't have to have the costumes ready until week five in the rehearsal plan.

Kurt was working in the room next to her. She watched him, bent over the computer, typing like crazy. He had three days left to finish the script. Next week, the loft would be filled with people organizing and making sure everything was ready before the casting began. No wonder he was busy.

But she needed to talk to him.

She needed to know if he was alright, if he was happy, and more than anything, she needed to confront him about his feelings for Blaine. He would most likely tell her to mind her own business, and she would respect that, but she needed to make absolutely sure that he understood what she saw and what she had realized lately.

After removing her tooling belt with the scissors and needles, she embraced herself for a little persuasion. She knew that Kurt would be downright difficult about her lunch plan offering, so she gathered herself and walked to his desk with determined steps. "Kurt, I want to take you out to lunch today. We both need a break," she said, perky.

Kurt frowned and didn't even move his eyes from the computer. "Um, can't we just eat here?" His finger's tapped relentlessly on the keyboard.

"No, we can't. I'm taking you out on a lunch date. We need to get out of here for a while … and I have … some things I want to discuss with you."

Kurt's eyes found hers over the rim of his glasses. "Can't you just tell me what's on your mind here? I promise I'll listen. I'll even turn off the computer, or at least turn it around so I can't see the screen." He winked.

Ally crossed her arms, but smiled. "Nope, not good enough. I want your full attention, and as long as you and your computer are even in the same room, I'm not going to get it. You may look at me, but your brain will spin like a wheel with ideas of what to write next."

Kurt leaned back and sighed. "Now you have me worried. Am I in trouble?"

"Nooo."

"Ally, you're not leaving me and the company, right? Because if that's the case I will throw a fit no matter where we are, and then you would prefer to have me here."

Ally rolled her eyes. "What are you talking about, silly boy? I'm not going anywhere … other than to lunch … with you. So you better click that save button and get a move on."

"I'm not hungry," Kurt argued stubbornly, "so it will be a very cheap treat for you."

"Of course you're hungry, and I'm not going to say anything to you until you have eaten a nutritious meal. You're too busy to eat these days and if you lose any more weight, your tailored clothes will not be that tailored anymore. It will look nothing but off-the-rack."

Kurt looked at her in shock. "I cannot believe you just said that. Take it back, take it back right now."

She could hear the laughter in his voice and knew she had won. "I'll take it back after you have finished lunch."

Kurt reluctantly shut down his computer and gave Ally a kiss on the cheek before he got his coat. "I still can't believe you would say something that offensive," he mumbled as she shot him a heartwarming smile.

They had a favorite lunch place in Bushwick, only a walking distance from Willoughby Avenue near Maria Hernandes Park.

The weather was beautiful; spring was ready to gain more power and children were playing in the park. Ally snuck her hand around the crook of Kurt's elbow, enjoying the easy going chatter between them. Kurt seemed surprisingly relaxed considering the long hours and days lying ahead of them.

They stepped into the crowded pasta bar and managed to get a table in a faraway corner, pretty undisturbed from the rest of the guests.

As soon as they had mixed their salads from the buffet, Kurt dug in right away.

"For someone who wasn't hungry, you sure eat well all of a sudden," Ally stated.

Kurt glanced at her. "Of course I was hungry. What are you even talking about, girl?"

"Must have been my misunderstanding," she said squinting.

"Must have," Kurt agreed, with spark in his blue eyes.

They enjoyed the meal and Ally told Kurt about the girls she had hired for the next weeks. They discussed how they would fit extra people into the loft with room enough to work, but Kurt was sure they would come up with some sort of solution.

When they both had finished eating, Kurt narrowed in on her with a gentle expression. "What's on your mind, Ally? I'm ready to listen and I don't have one single script line in my head," he said encouragingly.

Ally twitched in the chair before she found her calm again. "I want to talk to you about Blaine," she said.

She saw the acknowledgement in his eyes, as if he had known all along what this would be about. "Okay..." he said hesitantly.

"Kurt, I cannot even begin to explain how much boot camp meant for me. It was so intense and funny and rewarding during the entire process. But, there is one thing that still sticks with me here a week later. Something that made me realize certain things about our friendship."

Kurt looked at her, open minded and cautious at the same time. "I have never seen you the way you are when you're with Blaine," she stated gently. "I have known you for three years and by now I thought I knew you really well, but I'm not sure anymore."

Kurt examined her face. "What do you mean, Ally," he said puzzled. "Of course you know me, you are one of my closest friends."

"I believe that," she said and bit her lip with flushing cheeks. This was harder to say than she had imagined. "Kurt, when you're together with Blaine, you lower your guards completely and become carefree, and playful, and giddy, and I … I suddenly realized that I had never seen you like that before. It's like I've never met the real Kurt; the Kurt who dares to be optimistic, dares to hope, and who has courage enough to be happy."

Kurt blinked and something in his eyes seemed to embrace what she was saying.

"What I'm about to tell you next is none of my business and you are completely entitled to tell me to shut up, but I need to say it anyway." She cleared her throat. "You're nothing like that when you're with Benjamin, or even when you talk about him. Actually, with Benjamin, your guards are at their highest. And I'm not judging by the dinner last week, that was hard on everyone... I'm talking in general. I know he is different when you're alone with him and when he doesn't feel the need to compete all the time, but I cannot remember ever seeing you smile at Benjamin the way you smile at Blaine."

Kurt got teary eyed in front of her, but he still didn't say anything. Ally reached out for his hand and he took it willingly.

"I guess I just want you to be sure that you're not losing the right guy, for the second time, just because you're engaged to someone who basically could be nothing more than your consolation prize."

Kurt rubbed her knuckles and let the tears stream down his face.

"Tell me if I'm out of line, Kurt," she said beggingly. "Tell me if I should just shut up and leave you alone. You know I will respect that."

Kurt dried his tears away with the back of his free hand. "I don't want to be left alone, Ally. I just need a minute here. This is a lot to take in."

She nodded, her heart overflowing with compassion for the man sitting in front of her, and waited patiently for his next words.

"I love Blaine so, so much," Kurt finally whispered in despair. "I'm falling for him so deeply that I don't know which way is up or down anymore. I don't know where to go or what to say. When I close my eyes, he is all I see. He is with me constantly, in my dreams, in my thoughts, in every line I write, awake or asleep, he is always there. I don't know what to make of it and I feel so guilty towards Benjamin. He is leaving for Dubai and I don't want to talk to him about this right before he has to leave. That wouldn't be fair. Besides, I don't know what to tell him, I don't know if I love him or if I ever have, and at the same time I'm so scared of just throwing two years of a relationship and an engagement out the window. He doesn't deserve this; he never signed up for this. I'm so lost, Ally," he breathed out. "I don't know what is happening."

Ally could only imagine what Kurt was going through right now. "Things take time, sweetie," she said softly. "And the answers you're looking for will be there, maybe not now and maybe not tomorrow, but soon. It will not stay unsolved...just follow your heart."

Kurt smiled sadly. "It's more complicated than that. I'm afraid. I've never told you why my break up with Blaine was bad and why a part of our past is making us both more cautious."

"You don't have to tell me, Kurt. I know what break ups can be like and I know how bitterness and hurt can affect you for a lifetime."

Kurt looked thoughtful. "Has Blaine ever mentioned me? Has he ever talk to you about all this?"

"Not directly," Ally stalled. "But he has hinted at some things that were pretty obvious."

"Like what?" Kurt held his breath.

"Last week, he asked me if you were happy with Benjamin."

"Do I want to know what you answered," Kurt asked, tiredness showing in his face and voice.

"I tried to be diplomatic," Ally said vaguely. "Then he said something else that I didn't quite get the meaning of at the time. He asked me to look after you if he couldn't be around."

Kurt's brows furrowed. "Why would he say something like that?"

Ally leaned closer. "Kurt, you have to understand his point of view. If he is falling just at hard for you as you are for him, how do think it makes him feel to see you engaged? How would it make you feel if it was the other way around?"

"I would hate it," Kurt whispered. "I don't think I would survive it, to be honest."

"He won't either. If you marry Benjamin, I don't think Blaine will stick around, not in the company and maybe not even in New York."

"But I'm not marrying Benjamin," Kurt said fiercely and then he clasped a hand over his mouth, as if his own words had betrayed him.

Ally lifted an eyebrow. "You're not?" she asked calmly.

"I don't know, Ally. I'm just so confused and torn. I really don't know..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review and then I'll be back Wednesday ;-)
> 
> Love Melissa


	12. Not Yours To Lose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many great reviews. I haven't been able to reply to you all, but I will because they all meant something different to me.
> 
> So next chapter is up and things are moving a lot forward, but also a bit backwards...
> 
> Enjoy!

Kurt jerked up from his laptop and stretched with a loud cracking noise before he looked around with a satisfied smile. Megan, who was sitting across the table, noticed the change in his face and followed his stare. Their eyes met and Megan had to smile too.

"I know, it's crazy, right?" she said in her own sweet way.

Megan was like calm waters and a warm prickly feeling on your skin. And when you spent time with her you'd think you'd have her all figured out, but you never had. Kurt really liked her and Blaine had been smart to suggest her as editor of the script.

What blew his mind right now however, was the buzz and the commotion going on in the loft.

Ally, Kurt and Blaine had called on family, friends and everybody owing them a favor ever, to pull through the last preparations before the play had to be ready for rehearsal.

Ally's three sewers worked non-stop in her craft room. It had been quite a challenge to install them there - until Burt and Carol had made an entrance. Burt had organized three different desks, built together to fit the room and now four sewing machines could work at the same time.

The office, where Ally, Blaine and Kurt usually had their desks and their computers, were rearranged to make room for all the costumes already finished.

Kurt and Megan sat at the kitchen table with a printer installed underneath the table. When Kurt was done with a scene he would print it out and give it to Megan who'd go through it with the eyes of a hawk. While she would make little notes, and ask questions for clearance, he would go to the next scene. They worked really well together and Kurt reluctantly had to admit that she was spot on when it came to the things he had missed in the creative process.

In the bedroom Matt and Blaine had arranged a music room/recording studio, where they were harmonizing and arranging all the music. Burt had removed the two beds out to the living room and placed them up against a wall, and once again he had built up the room up with the desks needed.

And Carol, god bless that sweet woman, would cook for them, do the dishes, and make sure there was enough coffee at all times.

Kurt felt downright happy here in the middle of the mess and the commotion, truly, right into the bones kind of happy.

Once in awhile he would get up and slip into the music room, just listening to Matt and Blaine working together. Then Blaine would give him one of those smiles that could melt the North Pole and Kurt would just revel in the attention and the way his stomach would twist into a delightful tickling sensation.

Other times Blaine would come out and sit next to Kurt at the kitchen table. He would pour coffee into Kurt's mug and scoot close enough for their arms and legs to touch as if he needed this physical refill once in awhile, and Kurt loved to give it to him.

When they talked in general they always stood too close, their hands were always brushing against each other too many times, and Kurt's heart got used to the uneven flutter in its before so steady pace.

Kurt knew this couldn't go on forever, but he got so lost when Blaine was around, and he felt so powerless when Blaine lit up the world around him.

He had not forgotten the conversation with Ally last week, and he knew his relationship with Benjamin was cracking at its very foundation right now. He had to come clean with Benjamin, he just didn't know when to do it, or what to say. How do you break another guy's heart when he thinks a wedding is just around the corner? Benjamin was in Dubai now anyway, and wouldn't be home until Saturday night.

Kurt pushed the gloomy thoughts aside. He refused to deal with heavy emotional stuff right now. It would have to wait.

His phone went off and he picked up the call right away when he saw it was Michael.

"Hi, Michael."

"Hey, Kurt … um we have sort of a problem, not fatal, but huge enough."

"Okay - just spill it."

"Our choreographer is pregnant, and now it turns out that her body is fighting the baby like crazy, so she throws up 24-7 and has been hospitalized. I don't really have a replacement that is good enough at the time, so I wanted to hear if you've got any connections that can help us out on such short notice?"

Kurt sat down and rubbed his forehead, a bit overwhelmed. "I have to think about it, Michael. Most NYADA students are so close to their exams at this time of year that it's unlikely they'll have the time. Besides, I need it to be someone we can trust with the task, someone who can get the idea of the story and the music right away."

"Yeah, I know, that's why it's a bit tricky."

Kurt got up and looked around in the room until he found Blaine's calm stare, holding the eye contact as he continued the call. "Michael, give me a couple of hours, and I'll see who I can get a hold of."

"Great, talk to you later."

Blaine strode over to Kurt the second he hung up with a worried expression. "Is everything alright?" he asked quietly and skimmed his hand down Kurt's arm.

Kurt leaned into the touch and gave Blaine a thankful smile. "Well we are one choreographer short, so that's kind of an issue."

They both leaned against the kitchen counter next to each other, mirroring every movement between them. "Okay, who can we call instead?" Blaine asked with big thoughtful eyes.

"I'm trying to think of somebody."

Blaine inhaled sharply when an idea suddenly hit him. "Didn't you say that Santana has a dance studio here in town? I bet she could make something cool."

Kurt jerked up and looked thrilled at Blaine. Then he leaned in and gave him a big wet kiss on the cheek. "I knew it was smart to keep you around, Anderson," he said with a smirk.

Blaine chuckled and tried to dry his cheek with his hand, but Kurt stopped him with a tuck in his arm. "No, leave it there," he said and winked. "It's a good luck kiss, you just wait and see."

Blaine rolled his eyes but lowered his hand again. "Now go make your phone call you stupid boy."

"I will," Kurt said with a grin before he hit Santana's number.

When she picked up he didn't give her a chance to say anything. "Hi Tana my sweet girl and favorite bitch number 1. How are you doing?"

"What do you want, Lady Hummel!" Santana said grumpy with her beautiful, raspy voice.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

When the day was coming to an end most of their friends had gone home. The designers would be back at 8 tomorrow, and Matt and Megan had a concert they wanted to catch; some jazz-thing Megan's dad was a part of. Blaine was waiting for Cooper to come and pick him up. They didn't have a lot of plans, and it was getting late anyway, but a movie on the couch was just about what Blaine had energy for anyway.

Burt and Carol were stirring in the kitchen, talking with Kurt. Blaine enjoyed the muffled voices and the friendly banter between them as he started to pack his bag. Burt and Carol meant the world to him. Burt had been there, almost like a father, at times when things had been toughest with his own dad.

Carol turned around and caught him watching them. She reached out for his hand, and dragged him into a warm hug. "I'm so happy to see you again, Blaine." She rubbed his shoulder and beamed at him. "We're just about to have some ice cream, why don't you sit down and join us?"

"No," Blaine said quickly. "Cooper's picking me up any minute now, and I think you guys need some family time."

Burt looked at him in utter surprise. "Blaine, you are as much a part of this family as any of us, of course you're welcome."

Blaine drew a sigh of relief. Burt was a man of his words, and the significance of those words fell like rain in a dry desert. Maybe he could pick up the pieces of the shattered relationship with his dad, but for what he knew, there was nothing as secure in the world as Burt and Carol Hummel.

He swallowed hard, trying not to reveal his emotions. "Well, maybe we'll just stay for a little while, if it's alright with Cooper."

"If Cooper is okay with what?" The door behind them slid open and Cooper's blue eyes and white smile peeked in.

"Ice cream, Coops," Kurt said and winked at Blaine, before he went to the cabin and took out plates enough for the five of them.

"Of course, I'm always ready for ice cream." Cooper put down his coat and strode over to Carol and Burt. "I'm happy to finally meet you," he said and shook hands with both of them. "I've always wanted to thank you for being there for Blaine when I was doing a bad job at it myself."

"Nice to meet you too," Burt said with a crooked smile, and a firm grip, side eyeing Blaine.

Blaine rolled his eyes. "Sometimes you sound like you're my dad, Coops."

"That's just to make you to listen to me and my words of wisdom, Bee."

When the table was set with ice cream and about ten different kind of toppings, the banter and laughter continued between this expanded family. Cooper wanted to know what was needed in the days to come. He had taken two days off to help out, and since he was the only one with a car, they decided he could shop for groceries and run different errands. Besides that, he and Burt would get started on the program and the pamphlets, making sure that the sponsors got enough space for advertising without taking focus from the play and the role list visually. Burt and Carol had two more days in New York, and would have to head back to Lima by Wednesday night.

Kurt and Blaine were supposed to attend the audition for "Cordelia" Thursday, and Friday Kurt was handing over the final script to Michael. It would give the cast a weekend to read it and start memorizing lines. Then the rehearsals would start out Monday.

"How are things going with Megan?" Blaine asked Kurt. He was suddenly worried about Kurt making it to the deadline. There was still a lot of finishing up to do.

Kurt made big puppy eyes before he answered. "Can I keep her, please? She is just amazing."

Blaine chuckled and took a mental picture of Kurt for being cute. "No, I got her first. You can only borrow her."

"Maybe we should let her choose," Kurt said with raised chin.

Carol took the last bite of ice cream from her plate. "I think Megan would choose Matt, so you'd both lose. I'm just saying."

Blaine dropped his spoon. "What do you mean that Megan would choose Matt?"

Carol stalled and looked anxiously around. "Um … did I just say something that's not supposed to be said?"

Cooper chuckled. "No Carol; my money's on Matt and Megan too."

Blaine narrowed in on Cooper. "Like they are dating or what? I honestly don't see that, and besides, Matt would have told me. I'm pretty sure he would have told me something like that."

Cooper shrugged. "I don't know if they are dating, but they certainly have a "thing" going on."

Blaine grew quiet for a while. Was he really so blind that he hadn't noticed if two of his best friends had a "thing" for each other?

He turned to Kurt for help. "Kurt, have you noticed anything?"

Kurt squinted and made a funny face. "Um … yeah, I kind of have."

"But just recently, right. I mean it's only natural that I would miss something like that because I'm like crazily busy right now."

Kurt was twitching in his chair by now. "I pretty much noticed when I met them the first time. You know at the Cavazz concert, backstage."

Blaine tried to think back, but he didn't see anything else than Matt and Megan just being, well, Matt and Megan.

He switched to Burt. "Burt, what about you?"

Burt sat up straight in his chair, looking around for help, but everybody was just staring at him in anticipation. "What have I got to do with this?" he asked innocently.

"You have been here all day too," Blaine explained and held his stare.

"I would like to play "Switzerland" for this one," Burt claimed, a bit proud of himself.

"No, you can't play Switzerland," Blaine objected.

"Of course I can."

"No, because by playing Switzerland you are admitting that you've seen something too. If you hadn't you would have come to my rescue. I know you would."

Burt gave up. "Okay, kiddo. Look, it's just that she laughs a lot at the things he says, and he is saying a lot of things to make her laugh."

The rest of the table had a giggle attack when Blaine dropped his head down on Kurt's shoulder. "I am just the worst friend ever."

Kurt ran his fingers through the dark hair after he had composed himself from the hilarious situation. "No, Blaine, you're actually one of the best," he said with a smile and squeezed Blaine's hand.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Cooper and Blaine came home later than expected and the movie turned into a lying-on-the-couch-almost-sleeping kind of move. When it was over and the frozen frame of the menu had silenced everything in the living room, Blaine confessed for the first time what was on his mind and in his heart every hour of every day.

"I'm in love with Kurt."

When he said it, it was nothing but words, getting stuck and muffled in the silence; not at all as powerful as the feeling itself.

"I know, Bee," Cooper answered softly lying on the other couch.

"Of course," Blaine breathed out, not surprised that Cooper had seen right through him.

"And I think Kurt's in love with you too," Cooper added.

Blaine jerked his head around to look at his brother. "Why do you say that?"

Cooper raised his eyebrows. "Why does that surprise you so much?"

Blaine sat up in the couch and pulled his knees up to his chest. "Because he's engaged. He will start planning his wedding when the play is taken down again, that's why!"

Cooper sat up too and narrowed in on Blaine's worried face. "So when Kurt is looking at you like you're the sun and the moon and the stars in his universe what do you think that is?"

"He's not looking at me like that," Blaine answered with a stubborn snap of his head.

"Really, Bee? You have to open your eyes and see things for what they truly are, not just about Matt and Megan, but about you and Kurt as well."

Blaine ran a hand through his hair, fighting so hard to think straight. "Look, with Kurt there will always be something, I don't know … chemistry. There always has been, from the moment we met. We're just … comfortable around each other. I'm pretty sure that's all this is for Kurt."

Cooper didn't look convinced at all, but obviously decided to change tactics. "Why is it okay for you to be in love with him, but awful if he's in love with you?"

"Because … then I have ruined everything for him. Then I'm nothing but an intruder in a perfectly happy relationship. Don't you see that?"

Cooper squinted. "If Kurt is so happy in his relationship, then tell me why he is falling in love with you."

"But he's not, Coops," Blaine said with a broken voice, beginning to feel utterly defeated.

"Open your eyes, Blaine, and tell me it isn't so," Cooper said with love in his blue eyes.

Blaine slouched back in the couch and covered his eyes with his arm. His head was spinning out of control.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

The Pantheon Theater was old and a facelift was much needed, but it contained soul and history enough to make up for it. Kurt had been here a couple of times, both on stage and in the audience, but nothing could compare to the connection he felt with this place right now.

He was supposed to meet up with Michael and a girl named Rose, who was likely to play Cordelia. He had asked Blaine to join them too. He was needed at the piano and Kurt wanted his feedback about Rose. The casting of Cordelia suddenly seemed to be the key decision for the success of the play, and for some reason he was nervous about meeting her. What if she didn't look anything like he'd imagined when he wrote her?

"Hey, Kurt." Michael's voice startled him from behind and he turned around.

Next to Michael was a beautiful young girl, with long blond, curly hair held back by a pair of shades. Kurt smiled. "Hi."

"Sorry we were running a bit late." Michael put down his bag before his hand reached out to the girl. "This is Rose Portmont, and Rose, this is Kurt Hummel."

Rose and Kurt shook hands and smiled at each other. "I've been so excited to meet you," Kurt said and raised his brows.

"Likewise," Rose said. "I hope I can do your play justice, Kurt."

Michael laughed. "Rose is no longer one of our regulars. She decided to give it a break to try something different," he explained. "I called her anyway, and first she said no thank you, but then I "accidentally" delivered her the script."

Rose blushed but shrugged it off right away. "I know, I know, Michael, and I'll bet you'll never let me hear the end of it." Then she returned to Kurt. "But he's right. I read the script and I instantly knew I wanted to give it a try." She examined his face and dimples showed, framing her smile. "It's such a beautiful story, Kurt, and the music is amazing and breathtaking. But I want you to know that this is a real audition for me, even though I'm not up against anybody else at the moment. If you don't see me as right for the part, I want you to be very honest with me. This play needs the right Cordelia."

"You don't have to be nervous, Rose," Kurt said assuredly. "Today is about singing and getting to know each other. And with all the nice things you are saying about the play, I'm sure we'll get along."

The door to the entrance of the theater opened with a big noise and Blaine came running in, red cheeked and stressed out. "Sorry," he panted repeatedly on his way. "I have been behind schedule all day, which is actually a terrible excuse, but true never the less."

Kurt's heart made a leap as he took in Blaine with a happy smile on his face. He looked beautiful today. Not as pulled together as usual, but very vibrant and energetic and hot … no sweet!

He meant to think sweet.

Hot just kind of snuck in there. Kurt took a deep breath to get the scent of Blaine, before he put a hand on his shoulder. "This is my music magician. Without him there would be no Cordelia."

"Awww," Blaine said with a cute stare and beamed.

"Blaine, this is Rose," Kurt said smugly.

Blaine broke the eye contact reluctantly and finally noticed the girl next to Michael. "Hey … Rose … wow."

Kurt chuckled. "What, Blaine?"

"She is gorgeous," Blaine said with big eyes.

"She can also hear us, very well."

"I see," Blaine said noddingly.

"But we like her, she says nice things about our play."

Michael and Rose started laughing. "Why do I feel I just witnessed a scene with Gollum from The Lord of The Rings," Rose asked.

"My precious," the boys said in unison.

Rose shook her head. "I don't know what I signed up for here."

Blaine winked at her and offered her a handshake. "I'm Blaine by the way and don't worry we're only that crazy when we have been working 24-7 writing a musical."

"If the crazy goes with your music I'll take it any day, Blaine," Rose responded. "I'm so in love with Cordelia's songs and I already know them by heart."

"It's sweet of you to say that," Blaine gushed, "and now I don't know what to do about myself. "

"Then go sit at the piano and let's do this," Kurt said and headed towards the scene where the piano was settled.

Blaine and Rose followed him and Rose stood next to Kurt at the side of the piano.

The soft chords of a duet between Cordelia and Coalan rose from the black wood and Kurt started with the first part. He could feel Rose very presence by his side and when she joined him for the next part he smiled into the singing. Her voice was soft and slightly dark in it's color as it vibrated perfectly underneath Kurt's tone. She didn't look at the sheet lying in front of her as she let go and turned around to face Kurt.

They started acting out and Rose followed Kurt's lead perfectly, clearly very familiar with the musical material. They started the build up towards the middle of the song and she had no problem following him as they climbed higher. Their voices started to blend even more as they both slightly adjusted to each other.

She felt right; to the core of Kurt's bones she was just right.

When they ended the song on a soft note, holding each other's hands, Kurt let the sound settle in the room before he reached out and gave Rose a warm hug. "Thank you so much for being my Cordelia," he whispered emotionally and let go of her again.

She looked equally happy. "You have an amazing voice, Kurt, and I would be really honored to play Cordelia."

Kurt turned around to Blaine, wanting to make sure that they felt the same way about her. But Blaine was pretty busy hiding a tear in the corner of his eyes.

"Are you crying, Blaine?" Kurt asked teasingly, determined not to let him get away with it.

"Of course I am," Blaine answered and blinked. "That was too beautiful not to shed tears for."

Kurt loved him.

He loved everything about him. His sensibility, and the way he got lost when it came to music. A sweet tenderness overwhelmed Kurt, and everything inside of him cried out – If you will let me, I'll love you forever, and I will never ever let you down.

Blaine scooped over on the piano bench and patted on the leftover space next to him, prompting Kurt to sit down. Kurt obeyed and sat down with a beating heart.

"Rose, can I get you to sing Cordelia's "Ode to life" for us?" Blaine asked curiously. "I mean if you know it well enough."

"I'd love to," she answered.

"I have the lyrics right here if you need to remember."

"No, I'm good," she said with a broad grin.

"Great," Blaine said, because I think Kurt will need the sheet when he's playing."

"What do you mean?" Kurt asked twitching on the bench.

"You play the chords, and I'll pretend to be the rest of the orchestra. Then we'll play together."

"Blaine, I don't know the chords well enough, I'll just end up ruining a perfect moment," Kurt whined.

"You'll do absolutely perfect," Blaine assured calmly.

Kurt felt the heat from Blaine's body right next to him and knew he couldn't say no. "God Rose, can you forgive me beforehand if I screw up?"

"We're just getting to know each other, right?" she answered with a smug smile. "So don't be nervous."

"Now aren't you a quick learner," Kurt mumbled and rolled his eyes. She just winked in return.

The first chords were a bit shaky, but then he hit a steady pace together with Blaine to a point where he could swear their breathing was synchronized.

Every sweet moment he had shared with Blaine the last couple of weeks, was woven into every tone, and every color of the melody. It made him feel like he belonged, like they belonged, and if his world should ever make sense again, he needed to be with Blaine.

The realization hit him hard and yet again, as soft as a kiss. Who had he tried to fool? He would never be happy with Benjamin, because he had never truly loved him, not the way he loved Blaine.

When their hands were at rest again and the song was finished, he didn't know where to look. It was too much, and too emotional, and he needed it to be solid inside of him, before he could grasp it.

"Are you okay?" Blaine asked with a smile. "You did really well, I knew you could play it."

Kurt didn't say anything until Michael and Rose were occupied with the rehearsal schedule on the other side of the piano. Then he tucked in Blaine's sleeve and whispered: "Is it possible to have a musical orgasm?"

Blaine bit his lip and blushed slightly. "Then he narrowed in on Kurt's blue eyes. "Totally."

_____________________________________________________________________________

Outside the theater the ecstatic energy about finding Cordelia got the better of them. Blaine scooted his hands deep down in the pockets of his coat and laughed out loud. "Kurt, this is really happening, and it's going to be the ride of our lives."

Kurt looked out of breath and beautiful, and pure happiness rose in Blaine's chest when he tucked his hand under the crook of Blaine's elbow, bouncing in every step. "We should celebrate, Blaine."

"Isn't that a bit premature," Blaine asked. "I don't want to jinx anything here."

"We won't jinx anything. It's just a celebration of finishing on time and being geared for starting rehearsals after the weekend. I'm thinking just you and me and Ally. You know, where everything started."

"But we're all working tomorrow," Blaine reminded.

"I know, I know, and we're not going to get drunk or anything. We should be working tonight too, but we deserve this break, Blaine." Kurt stopped them with a tuck in Blaine's elbow. "Please, Blaine. Let's do this."

"You have no idea how hard it is for me to say no to you, do you?" Blaine asked as he looked into the blue that seemed to go on and on in Kurt's eyes.

It was not that he didn't want to go. He could easily do that for Kurt, but it was getting harder and harder to be around him without getting lost. Cooper had been right. Blaine was not the only one falling in love. It worked both ways and they were getting so close to each other now that it would only be a matter of time before they couldn't resist anymore.

But Blaine didn't want that to happen. He would hate himself for coming between Kurt and Benjamin, and the guilt was eating him up inside.

He loved Kurt, more than anything, but he didn't have the right to act on it when Kurt was in a serious relationship.

"Please," Kurt repeated. "Let me call Ally and then just find a nice place to eat."

"Of course," Blaine said and bumped his shoulder into Kurt. "Let's go celebrate, cute boy."

Kurt got a hold of his phone right away and soon everything was arranged.

They split up and Blaine went home to shower, hoping to get a pep-talk from Cooper. This was getting over his head.

But Cooper wasn't home.

Blaine had forgotten that he was working the late shift on Thursdays. After showering he turned up for the news to kill time. But he didn't really pay attention. Somewhere along the way, being locked up in the Cordelia-bubble, he had lost interest in the world around him.

He decided to text

 

To Sam

-Tell me not to do anything stupid tonight, Sam ….

 

Five minutes later Sam texted back.

 

To Blaine

-Go do something stupid tonight, Blaine, you deserve it :-D

 

To Sam

-You're not helping!

 

To Blaine

-Maybe I am, but you just don't know it yet.

 

To Sam

-You give very shitty advice, did you know that?

 

To Blaine

-I have found it easier to give advice when I haven't got a clue what you're talking about…

 

To Sam

-Never mind.

 

To Blaine

-Blaine?

 

To Blaine

-Come on dude, don't leave me hanging here. What kind of stupid are we talking about?

 

To Sam

-Kurt, stupid!

 

To Blaine

-I figured that much. Why don't you call me later, brother of another mother.

 

To Sam

-I will, mother of another brother xoxo

____________________________________________________________________________________

It was a nice, cozy restaurant; not too fancy and not too crowded. One of those places the real New Yorker's appreciated. It wasn't flooded with tourists and they still served splendid food. Kurt had been right about this night and the reason to celebrate. Things had been so intense for such a long time and narrowing it down to just the three of them was a bliss.

Ally looked exhausted, but happy.

"You have to admit that this is nice," Kurt said to her, sipping his drink. "We all deserve this."

"Oh, you just love to be right, Hummel," she said and rolled her eyes. "But I guess I owed you this one."

"You bet," Kurt said and winked before he leaned closer to Blaine. "She practically dragged me out of the office a week ago, when she knew I was working under a lot of pressure, demanding that I ordered something to eat."

Blaine let the cooling sensation of the beer settle in his body, clearly relaxing more and more. This was the best company in the world and he wouldn't be the one complaining or getting gloomy tonight. "You were losing weight, Kurt, so don't come whining to me. I'm all team Ally when it's about taking care of you."

"Maybe, but she still owed me, and I did eat something," Kurt gave back.

Ally raised her glass. "To my favorite gay guys, thanks for the ride so far."

"Gay guys? Really, Ally?" Kurt said. "Is that even a thing?"

"Well my favorite guy is Fred, so I had to be specific."

"Aww, girl, you miss him." Blaine rubbed her arm comforting.

"Why doesn't he like join us later?" Kurt asked.

"No, I'm fine, but I have neglected him and we'll have some serious catching up to do when all this is done."

For the next two hours they let go completely of the last weeks of stress and focus. The food was great and the laughing loud. Apparently Ally was a source of funny stories when she'd had a drink or two. And since a lot of her stories was about her and Kurt getting in trouble when they tried to handle the uptight world of NYADA and her fancy-schmancy designer school, Blaine just soaked it all in.

It was a way of connecting the dots of Kurt's life in the years they had missed together.

Blaine on the other hand could provide some juicy stories about his time in college with Matt. Ally and Kurt kept having breakdowns about Matt's quirky, hilarious ideas, and how Blaine always tried to get them out of trouble again.

When it would have been rude to hold the table any longer, they decided to hit a bar somewhere. None of them were ready to go home yet.

They ordered a very colorful drink to Ally with fruit on the top, pink sugar on edge of the glass, a little umbrella and a straw.

"This is for making incredible gowns, Ally B," Kurt said and raised his glass.

"And for adding the colors to our lives," Blaine added.

Ally sucked on the straw and made a cross eyed facial expression. "Now you gotta stop guys, I'm becoming emotional and if I go down that road you'll regret it."

"So, what's next for By Blackbird," Blaine asked and leaned back in the chair. "Another musical?"

"Definitely," Ally answered right away. "There's no way we're stopping here. And if A Song for Cordelia does well, it will provide us some goodwill. Not just with the sponsors, but also around the Broadway connections."

Kurt nursed his drink. "Honestly, I get exhausted just thinking about it. It's like asking a woman in the middle of giving birth if she wants to have another child."

Blaine put his hands on Kurt's arm and saw the subtle smile the connection put on the beautiful face in front of him. "But just think about it, Kurt," he prompted energetic. "We are much smarter now, we've learned so much about musical writing, it's bound to be easier the second time around. And there is a reason women agree to give birth more than once."

"And what would that reason be?" Kurt asked dryly.

"That it's worth it," Blaine answered with a smile. "That the pain is worth it all."

Kurt's expression softened as he put his hand on top of Blaine's hand. "I haven't got a clue what a new musical should be about though."

"You don't have to know yet," Blaine answered confident. "The idea's will come to you, just when you expect it the least."

The warmth of Kurt's hand tingled it's way to the rest of Blaine's body. What he would give for some time with Kurt, being lovers again and not question one single thing happening between them.

Before midnight Fred came and picked up Ally, as promised. But the boys decided to stay a little longer, after reassuring Ally that they wouldn't stay up too late, and that they wouldn't get drunk.

People started dancing around them and when Kurt stretched out his hand with a boyish smile, Blaine took it and followed him to the dance floor. The DJ was playing all kinds of different songs, from the newest hit to some more nostalgic tunes. Once in awhile he would play a song they had covered in Glee club, which would always hit home with both of them.

They would sing along and make up quirky dance moves, ruling over their corner of the dance floor; their sanctuary, a small piece of heaven with no one else around.

"God, I'm having flashbacks to our first time in Scandals," Kurt yelled over the beat of the music. With eyes shining and warm cheeks he looked hot moving to the beat.

Blaine laughed and pulled Kurt closer. "And that was our idea of being adventurous; to go to a gay bar in Lima?"

Kurt leaned into the touch and roamed his hands down Blaine's shoulders, before he grabbed his hand and twirled him around. "We were young and innocent. I think that was adventure enough for both of us at the time."

"I guess," Blaine said with a big grin and danced around Kurt, prompting him to follow his moves.

This was what it felt like to be free and to let go. And Blaine needed it more than air right now.

Gradually the up-tempo numbers blasting from the speakers were exchanged for something softer.

A long lingering stare was exchanged for an unspoken agreement as they moved closer to each other.

For Blaine it was a moment of truth, for better or for worse. A fragment of time where it's all or nothing. And no matter how hard his brain worked, or how much he tried to reason with himself it was a lost cause. Because layers that should protect his feelings were gone, peeled off, revealing nothing but raw exposed heart beats, and tears, and hope.

Kurt let his hand slide around Blaine's waist the same gentle way Blaine reached around Kurt's shoulders, pulling him closer and intertwining their fingers. Kurt's cheek was soft and the skin on the nape of his neck smelled like memories.

They both leaned into the embrace as they slowly moved to the soft beat.

Kurt was there in his arms, solid and soft, strong and tender. Blaine exhaled when Kurt relaxed over his shoulder, and he couldn't help moving his head so his mouth was right next to Kurt's ear.

A shiver from Kurt made Blaine hold him tighter.

This was wrong for so many reasons, even though his heart tried to betray him to think something else. But if he could have just this one dance, then maybe he could find the strength to let Kurt go again. A few more moments of the world spinning, was that too much to ask for? Here and now, just to be Kurt and Blaine again; to remember every promise they once gave each other; to remember every touch and every kiss they shared; to remember Kurt's warm body underneath him, granting him permission and embracing him with arousal, trusting him enough to get as close as two people can physically get.

Blaine's chest started heaving and the tears prickled underneath the lids of his closed eyes. Kurt responded right away and caressed Blaine's back, soothingly and calm.

"Kurt, we shouldn't do this," Blaine whispered painfully soft. He felt broken and glued together at the same time, as tears streamed down his face, leaving wet spots on Kurt's shirt.

Kurt pulled away and cupped his head. "Blaine, listen to me baby," he said and let his thumbs dry away Blaine's tears. "I love you, and I think I always have. I didn't mean to talk to you about this until things settled down some more. But it's right here, underneath my skin every breathing minute. It never leaves me."

Blaine pulled Kurt's hands away, but kept them connected. "Kurt, we just think this is real. The last couple of months have been so intense that it's no wonder the old feelings are stirring. But you're engaged, Kurt, and I never, ever intended to come between you and Benjamin. I promised myself that I wouldn't let that happen, and now I've let myself down, and I have let you down; at a time where you needed me the most - as a friend."

"Blaine, you don't understand, do you?" Kurt said with eyes burning in the colored light from the spots on the ceiling. "I'm calling off the engagement, I'm breaking up with Benjamin."

Blaine froze on the floor and stop dancing right away. Everything inside of him shattered, like breaking glass - so beautiful from a distance but dangerous if you got too close "No, no, you shouldn't Kurt," Blaine begged and pulled away. "You just need to spend some more time with Benjamin again. It's messing with your head and your feelings that he is away so much, and that we work so hard all the time. I'm sure what's between you guys can be mended again."

Kurt's chest was heaving and the desperate expression on his face gave away the struggle those words had caused on the inside. "Blaine, I don't love him! I can't marry a man I don't love," Kurt said in shock.

"If you don't love him, then why are you engaged to him?" Blaine snapped. Finally this one question was asked. It had been eating him up and driving him insane, even more than he had realized.

Blaine registered the hurt in the blue eyes, but Kurt didn't back down.

"I had a lot of reasons Blaine," Kurt then said broken. "You just have to trust me, and I will explain it all, if you'll listen."

Blaine felt the darkness creeping up around him, leaving everything numb. "Kurt, this is as close to cheating as you ever want to get. It's not worth it, take it from someone who knows."

Kurt blinked. "Blaine, please."

"I can't do it, Kurt, we'll end up hurting each other again, and I'm not sure I can survive a second time around. I'm sorry."

Kurt choked up in a sharp inhale. "Blaine, I don't want to lose you again. Please don't make me lose you one more time."

"I'm not yours to lose, Kurt," Blaine pointed out, jaws clenched, "and you're not mine to have. Just make sure you don't lose Benjamin now." Then he turned around, grabbed his coat and disappeared into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know - shitty place to stop, but it's time to deal with Benjamin!
> 
> Please review - even if you're mad at me ;-)
> 
> Se you on Sunday.
> 
> Love Melissa


	13. Falling Apart On A Sunday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings about this story in some amazing reviews!
> 
> I'm curently editing chapter 16 that will be the last chapter and it's an absolute joy to add the finishing touch to this story.
> 
> But even though A Song For Cordelia may be done I've only just started on this verse. There will be two more stories to follow as far as I've mapped it out.
> 
> For those of you who have loved "Never Say Never" there will be a sequal for that one too, but it will take awhile. I have ideas of where to go with Never Say Never, but I will happily take submissions or let myself be inspireret if you can see where the story could go.
> 
> Now for chapter 13 - a chapter where Kurt stands up for himself ;-)
> 
> Enjoy

Kurt was shivering as he walked back to his apartment. A numbness spread in his body from his spine, seeping into every crack of his soul, finding every exposed way to his heart.

Uneasiness and concern solidified to a sickness in his stomach, as Blaine's last words ran like an echo through his senses.

He had never planned for it to happen this way. He wanted closure with Benjamin first, and time to land on his feet before he could ask Blaine for anything at all. But things had happened so fast tonight and it had slipped through his fingers like sand, out of control.

I'm not yours to lose - and you're not mine to have. That's what he'd said, and he was right.

Blaine was not his.

He had been, but he wasn't anymore, and he could only begin to imagine how hard the last months must have been for Blaine. Kurt would never had been able to handle that kind of jealousy if Blaine had been engaged.

The thought alone transformed into a tight knot in his chest, pulling the darkest strings in his being. He wouldn't have lived through a day of it.

He should have been honest with Blaine from the moment he started falling for him again. He should have trusted him with the little things and the bigger things that had nagged him about the relationship with Benjamin. And more than anything - he should never have been engaged in the first place.

Kurt still shook even though the night was mild. This wasn't just about meeting Blaine and falling in love with him, this was also about the unhappiness that had stayed with him for a long time before that. Unhappiness that slowly had become a part of him until he had forgotten what it felt like to be truly happy.

Why hadn't he realized this from the start?

When had Kurt Hummel stopped being brave and stopped being true to himself and to everything he was before he left Lima?

He locked himself into the blissful darkness of the apartment, but the silence threatened to swallow him as he staggered into the bedroom and dropped down on the bed, fully clothed and shoes still on. Checking his phone every other minute didn't make it more likely that Blaine would call, but he didn't know what else to do.

He hit the smiling icon with his thumb. Blaine would have to listen to him. They could work this out, together. Make a plan that didn't rush them into anything they weren't ready for.

He got voice mail right away and disconnected the call. Apparently Blaine had turned off his phone.

The events of the night came back in painful flashes as his brain worked on overload, trying to understand. What could he had done differently? Where did he misinterpret what was going on between them?

He knew Blaine was having feelings for him too. He had seen it in his eyes for a long time, but he had also respected Blaine's right to keep those feelings to himself. They had struggled through the last couple of months on their own, and when Kurt had decided not to initiate anything it was because he had been scared of the outcome. He had been scared of losing their friendship.

He decided to text Blaine; tell him that he was basically waiting by the phone, and then just hope for the best.

Three texts later Kurt decided that Blaine probably understood the message.

He didn't sleep all night.

He wasn't panicking, or crying, or pacing the floor. He was just lying there in the darkness on his bed, waiting. As long as he abandoned the thought of Blaine turning him down forever, he would be fine.

When his phone buzzed with an incoming text around 4am his heart jumped right to his throat. But ironically enough it was from Benjamin, writing that he missed Kurt and was looking forward to coming home.

Kurt looked at the message with a blank face. He couldn't keep track of time zones in Dubai right now. His brain was too wasted for that. What was he supposed to text back? Hey baby, I can't wait to see you either, because I have something to tell you. Something that I should have told you months ago?

But with all due respect he was supposed to be sleeping now. He could wait a couple of hours before coming up with some sort of reply.

The next text came around 8 in the morning, after Kurt had been dozing off for the first time. It was from Ally:

 

-Hope you guys didn't overdo it last night - haha. See you later!

 

8.20 there was a text from Megan:

-Hi Kurt, I'm just getting a head start here. Call me if you want me to take a look at anything special. Chiao.

 

He tried to see straight enough to text Megan back and give her a few directions for the day. He would be useless until he had talked to Blaine and there was no way he was going to the loft now. Ally would see right through him, and he was not ready to answer her questions.

Ten minutes later Blaine finally texted him back.

Kurt was opening the message with shaky hands. It was devastatingly short:

 

From Blaine

-Kurt, I'll call you later today. Sorry for not picking up …

 

Kurt tossed his phone aside, pressing his fingers against heavy eyelids.

What was he supposed to feel now?

Was it a yes-we-need-to-talk-and-we-will-work-things-out? Or was it a I'm-letting-you-down-for-good-and-now-I-just-need- to-find-the-courage-to-tell-you?

For the first time since last night on the dance floor tears were burning behind his eyes. If it was good news, Blaine would have called him right away, wouldn't he? Blaine would have to know how much he was suffering right now. Kurt had been the one exposing his soul and his heart.

He tipped around on the bed and pulled the duvet over his head; and soon his worn out brain and his tired heart gave in to sleep, as he held the phone in the palm of his hand.

___________________________________________________________________________________________ 

Kurt only slept for a couple of hours. It was like his body was on constant alert. He took a shower, wondering when later was exactly. Would it be in a couple of hours later, or more like late tonight?

Benjamin's flight would arrive around 6pm and then they were supposed to have a quiet evening together at the penthouse.

He had tried to plan what to say, but he came short every single time, because he couldn't predict how Benjamin would react. Had he seen it coming and just been really good at hiding it, or would it be more like a bomb hitting out of nowhere in his fairly perfect life?

The truth was that Kurt had lost touch with Benjamin just as much as Benjamin had lost touch with him.

The hours passed in silence with only a few texts from Benjamin and one from Ally. When he was just about to give up talking to Blaine before he would have to leave the apartment, his phone rang.

He picked up frantically.

"Hi Kurt." Blaine's voice was small and he sounded just about as tired as Kurt was.

Kurt sat down and tightened the grip around his phone. "Blaine … I'm so glad you called," he said relieved.

He could hear Blaine breathing, collecting himself.

"I'm so sorry I made you wait all this time. I know I should have stayed last night, so we could talk it through. But … I couldn't, Kurt. I just …. God, this is so, so hard for me."

Kurt could hear him cry on the other end of the line, and his own eyes welled up too just by the mere sound of it. "It's okay, Blaine, if we can just talk now. If you'll just listen to me for awhile, I think we'll be alright"

Blaine sighed. "I'll listen to what you have to say, but I'm not sure I'm going to change my mind."

Kurt's heart dropped to the floor. "Change your mind about what?" he whispered and closed his eyes.

"About us."

Kurt jerked up straight in the bed by those much dreaded words. "Look, you have to hear me out now, Blaine Anderson," he said determined and dried away his tears. "Because that's what you taught me, to say what I feel and tell you the things you can't possibly know before I say them out loud."

Kurt didn't even wait for permission to continue. He was going to say this whether Blaine liked it or not. "You have not been ruining my relationship with Benjamin, okay. It was shattered even before you came into my life again. If I go through with that wedding, like you suggest I do, it will end up in a divorce within a year, because Benjamin and I are not right for each other." Kurt's hands were shaking now. "And denying that you and I have feelings for each other will not make Benjamin any more right for me," he continued. "I should have ended things with him a long time ago, but not because of you. I should have been courageous enough to do it for me."

"I don't know, Kurt," Blaine said hesitant. "I just feel like I'm locking down, and I'm panicking. I can't do this. I wish we could just stay friends, but I don't know how to be your friend. I only know how to be in love with you and it doesn't feel right. If you and I are so right for each other, then why do I feel such a strong urge to run away, as fast as I can?"

"I don't know, Blaine. I just wish that you would stay and figure things out, instead of running away," Kurt pleaded.

"I'm too confused right now," Blaine then said, "and I have to at least stay away for awhile. I'll have Matt taking over for me as musical leader for the play. He will be there for rehearsals and make sure everything goes down smoothly right up until opening night. I will not be in the office either. I'll be focusing on my students. That's all I know for now."

Kurt let the tears stream down his face. This was clearly the rehearsed speech Blaine had prepared and the reason why it had taken him so long to call. "You're breaking my heart, Blaine," he said devastated.

"I'm so sorry, Kurt. I just don't think I'm the right one to mend it back together again."

With that Blaine hung up and left Kurt to the silence and the despair that he had kept at bay since last night.

He granted himself ten minutes, not more, to pull the little pieces of his being tight together again.

He couldn't break down now.

He couldn't allow himself to let the truth hit him in the gut full force until later.

He breathed in and breathed out, focusing completely on his physical being, on the things that was solid around him.

Benjamin started texting, asking him where he was.

He had to talk to Benjamin before he crashed, because he couldn't do it while falling apart over Blaine.

He forced himself up. Stumbled out to the sink in the bathroom and splashed cold water in his face.

Breathe in, breathe out.

He was Kurt Hummel. He had faced pressure and heart ache before in his life, and he only had to survive tonight. Tomorrow he could fall apart and Monday he had to be ready for rehearsal.

Sunday would be a perfect day for heartbreak.

He changed clothes, willing his body to obey the orders he was giving it. He coiffed his hair and brushed his teeth. In many ways he looked impeccable as always, but his eyes gave him away. Benjamin would know immediately that something was wrong.

Breathe in, breathe out.

He closed the door behind him and headed for Manhattan.

_______________________________________________________________________________________ 

Kurt was met by a smiling, tanned, Benjamin in the door, but as predicted, his smile faltered the second he took a closer look at Kurt's face.

"Kurt, are you alright?" he asked and pulled him in for a hug after closing the door behind them.

Kurt cringed. How was he supposed to get through this with a bleeding heart of his own? He pulled away from Benjamin's arms, standing on shaky legs. "No, I'm not alright, and I know I'm supposed to ask about your trip and everything, but I can't Benjamin. I have something to tell you, and I think it's going to be the hardest thing I've ever done."

Benjamin stepped away and looked at him with big eyes. "You're scaring me a bit here. What is going on, honey?"

Kurt swayed on his feet and Benjamin put an arm around his shoulder. "Come let's sit down and I'll get you something to drink, and then we'll just talk. If you are in any kind of trouble, I'm sure I can help you. We'll figure things out, just you and me."

Kurt didn't have the willpower to resist so he let Benjamin lead him to kitchen and took a seat on one of the stools.

"Why don't we go sit in the couch?" Benjamin asked and side eyed Kurt warily as he fixed them something to drink.

"I prefer to sit here," Kurt stated tired and took the drink Benjamin was handing him.

Sitting opposite each other Benjamin reached out for his hand, but Kurt pulled away slowly.

"Benjamin … I cannot marry you ... because I'm in love with another man."

The words ricochetedriccochetted between the silent walls in all its simplicity and cruelty.

"What do you mean?" Benjamin asked, taken completely off guard.

"I love someone else, and I'm calling off the engagement. I'm breaking up with you." Kurt couldn't stop the tears from falling when he removed the engagement ring from his finger and put it on the table between the two of them.

Benjamin looked in disbelief on the ring and then he snapped right back to Kurt's face. "Have you been cheating on me, Kurt?"

"That depends on how you define, cheating," Kurt answered carefully.

"That was not the answer I was looking for!" Benjamin said angrily and distanced himself from Kurt.

"If the definition of cheating is kissing and having sex with someone, then no, I haven't cheated on you. But if losing my heart to someone else is cheating, then yes."

For some odd reason this seemed to calm Benjamin down a bit. "Look, Kurt, it's probably just a crush, right." He ran a frantic hand through his ruffled blond hair. "We can survive a crush, and you have been working like crazy. No wonder your guards are all down."

"Ben, you don't understand, and I don't know how to tell you, or how to make you understand." Kurt closed his eyes to ease the dizziness invading his head.

"Who is it, honey?" Benjamin asked.

Kurt couldn't deal with the endearment anymore, but he was too tired to protest. "It's Blaine," he answered flat.

"Blaine?" Benjamin repeated surprised. "Is he even gay?"

"Are you seriously asking me that?"

Benjamin got up now and started pacing the floor. "This is ridiculous, Kurt. I mean, it makes sense because you have been spending so much time together, but he is just … a composer for crying out loud. He can never provide for you the way I can, you should know that."

Kurt snapped his head up and shot Benjamin an angry stare. "I don't need anybody to provide for me, ever. And if that's what you think of me, then you don't know me at all!"

"Look, unless you have a major breakthrough on Broadway, which doesn't seem to happen any time soon, you can never afford to live like this. Then you might just move back to that crowded loft in Bushwick."

Kurt clenched his jaw. He would take this argument any day, at anytime. Maybe he had been dying to make this clear at some point, and now was as good a time as any. "I cannot believe you would say something like that. You're the one that needs the status and the right location. I have told you from the start that I could live anywhere. I don't need this, but you don't seem to listen."

Benjamin looked outrageous at him. "That is just so ungrateful of you. I pay most of the rent here, I make sure we are surrounded by classy things and that we go to the right parties."

"Okay, you want to go there then let's go there. I have my own apartment, where I pay all the rent. I have held onto that for so long because it makes me feel grounded, it makes me feel like Kurt Hummel. I've always been proud of who I am, and that hasn't changed. I care about style and decoration, not about high class, minimalistic furniture with no soul. The parties we attend, are the right parties for you, not for me," Kurt fired back.

"So you would prefer a poor composer, who makes a living teaching kids over the life I can give you?"

Kurt licked his lips. "Why is this about money, Benjamin?"

"Everything is about money."

"Not to me, and it had never has been."

"Then what's it about? Can you tell me that?" Benjamin asked.

Kurt forced himself to calm down again. This wasn't helping any of them. He cleared his voice. "Ben, I haven't been honest with you."

"Go figure." Ben crossed his arms.

"Blaine isn't just someone I met when he submitted a song. He is my high school sweetheart and my first love. But it was a complete coincidence that we met again the way we did."

"Your high school sweetheart?" Benjamin asked with disbelief as the pieces of the puzzle suddenly fit. "The one who broke your heart into a thousand pieces when he cheated on you?"

Kurt sighed, but met the angry grayish eyes calmly. "Yes."

"Why, Kurt? Why wouldn't you tell me, and why on earth do you want to be with him again. He obviously can't be trusted."

"I didn't tell you because you would have been madly jealous, and you would have been all over me, at all times."

"Of course I would. Wouldn't you have reacted the same way?" Benjamin asked.

Kurt tilted his head. "Maybe, but I needed to work with him. I needed to become friends with him again. The break up was so bad and we've never got the chance to have closure. I have been hurting so much for the last five years; more than I was willing to admit, and suddenly he was there. I saw it as an opportunity to heal. I never meant to fall in love with him again," Kurt explained.

"But you did."

"I did."

"So now you just need your freedom to run right back into his cheating arms."

Kurt looked down on his hands as pain shot through him again. "No, because he doesn't want me."

"Why doesn't he want you?"

"He doesn't want to be responsible for our break up. It's as simple as that."

Benjamin stopped in his tracks and sat down with begging eyes. "Kurt, then please stay with me. We can take a break. We don't have to be engaged. I can give you all the time in the world. You can keep your apartment and only hang out here whenever you feel like it. Think about it."

Kurt shook his head. "No, Benjamin, that's what you don't understand. This is not really about Blaine, it's about us; don't you see that?"

"No I don't see that, so please tell me what's so wrong about us?"

"We don't make each other happy, Ben." For the first time since Kurt arrived he dared taking Benjamin's hand. "We may pretend to a certain point, but if you have the courage to be really honest with yourself, you need something I can't give you."

"That's not true. I just need you," Benjamin objected.

Kurt pressed his lips tight together. "No. You need somebody who would love to go to Dubai with you, someone who would be thrilled to live in a penthouse and who would be really good at mingling at cocktail parties, networking for you."

All anger disappeared from Benjamin's face and for the first time Kurt saw tears in his eyes. "And what do you need, Kurt? Somebody to go to the theater with?"

Kurt sighed, grateful that Benjamin hadn't pulled away. "I need somebody who knows what's important to me. Someone who gets me, all the way through and understands where I come from. Someone who is interested in the whole package. We are both settling, Ben, don't you see that? We can never love each other the right way, the way we both need. And that is not fair, that's not living, really. I have only been half "Kurt" in this relationship and I need to be complete."

"And Blaine makes you complete?" Benjamin asked heartbroken.

"Yes, he makes me complete."

Benjamin squeezed Kurt's hand. "I don't know how to survive this," he finally admitted.

"But you will, Ben, somewhere down the road there is someone who will love you more than I do."

"How will you survive? This amazing Blaine guy crushed your heart twice, just remember that."

"I don't know how to survive either, but I've done it before," Kurt answered exhausted. "For now I'll just focus on my career. Do everything I can to sell the musical, and forget about love for a while."

They talked for most of the night, and cried once in awhile. Right before dawn Benjamin went to bed. He offered Kurt the couch, but asked him to be gone before noon.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Saturday

 

Matt to Ally:

Have you talked to Kurt today?

 

Ally to Matt:

No, should I?

 

Matt to Ally:

Something happened between Kurt and Blaine yesterday after you left. Blaine is coming off the hinges. I think you should check up on Kurt.

 

Ally to Matt:

Do you know what happened?!

 

Matt to Ally:

Kurt told Blaine that he loved him and that he was going to call off the engagement with Benjamin, and Blaine got scared…

 

Ally to Matt:

OMG! Thanks Matt. I'm on Kurt. Please take care of Blaine.

______________________________________________________________________________________________ 

"Sam Evans."

"Hi, Sam. It's Cooper Anderson, Blaine's brother."

"Cooper, hey, what a pleasant surprise."

"I'm sorry to call you out of nowhere here. I kind of stole your number from Blaine's phone, to be honest."

"That's cool, don't worry. Is he okay?"

"No, not really I'm afraid, and that's why I'm calling. You haven't been in touch with him the last couple of days, have you?"

"We texted each other Friday afternoon, and he promised to call me back later, but he never did. Look, is it something about Kurt?"

"Yes, but I'm not completely sure what happened. They went out to celebrate that the script was finished together with Ally Friday night. At some point the boys are dancing together, probably after Ally went home, and then Kurt confessed that he was in love with Blaine, and Blaine apparently freaked out and left him there, on the dance floor. That's all I know, and that's what Blaine told me when I came home later that night. But now he won't leave his bed, he is barely eating, he won't talk to any of us, and Kurt seems to have disappeared."

"God, why do they have to make it so hard, when it could be so easy? What can I do, Cooper?"

"I know it's a lot to ask, but do you think you could come to New York as quickly as possible? I'll pay for the plane tickets and cover your expenses while you're here. I just think he needs to talk to somebody who knows him really well, and who understands the history between them."

"Of course I'll come, but you better not warn him about it, then he'll just try and put up a good act, and I need him to be honest if this is going to work."

"Sam, I don't know how to thank you. It's been so hard not to know how to help him."

"Sure thing. Maybe you can book a flight around midnight, then I can be in New York early in the morning."

"I'll do it right away, and I'll be there to pick you up at the airport, so don't worry about transportation."

"Great, you can just throw me a text then."

When Cooper hung up again he felt like a heavy weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.

\----------------------------------------- 

Cooper to Ally

-Sam is coming in early in the morning to talk to Blaine. How is Kurt doing?

 

Ally to Cooper

-He has told me to stay away and won't open the door. I think I'll team up with Santana, she has a spare key to his apartment.

 

Cooper to Ally

-Will you let me know how he is later? I'll keep you posted on Blaine.

 

Ally to Cooper

-Sure thing, and thank you ;-)

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Ally to Santana

-Santana, emergency meeting, about Kurt and Blaine, ASAP!

 

Santana to Ally

-Here we go! Where?

 

Ally to Santana

-Hard Rock Café – in an hour?

 

Santana to Ally

-Hour and a half?

 

Ally to Santana

-THANK YOU!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, please review and then I'll see you Wednesday. :-)
> 
> Love Melissa


	14. That's What Friends Are For

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter where friendships matters the most.
> 
> And no, Blaine is not just being stupid, he has his reasons ...
> 
> Enjoy ;-)

Sam closed his eyes in the dimmed light of the plane as soon as it had descended and it was safe to take the seat belts off. He was looking forward to seeing Blaine again, even though it wasn't the best of circumstances. It was hard to figure out what had happened with Kurt, but he had a pretty good idea about what had happened with Blaine.

He was kind of honored that Cooper had called and he would never have had enough money to pay for this trip on his own. That was the main reason he hadn't visited Blaine yet, but he could never tell him that, obviously.

The financial struggle had to stay a secret. It was bad enough that Mercedes suspected something already.

He just needed a breakthrough, somehow. Something that would make Mercedes proud to be with him. He would not tell her how much he still loved her before he had something to offer her.

It was as simple as that.

Not being able to get a job was hard. It made him feel worthless and unwanted; which was why Cooper's call had moved him so much. Blaine needed him, and Sam liked to be needed.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Refusing to get out of bed was a cowardice solution, verging on being no solution at all. But Blaine didn't know how to face the outside world just yet. What was he supposed to tell people? How could he answer their questions when he didn't have the answers?

Everything inside of him had come to a stop, starting out as slow motion when he had left Kurt at the dance floor, but now it wasn't even that.

To get out of bed, trying to do normal things like taking a shower, eating something or working was unimaginable tasks to overcome. He just wanted to cry; mourn his loss of what could have become.

He turned around on his back and covered his head with a pillow. If he could just lie here, really quiet, then maybe he would stop feeling so damn heartbroken; or even better, maybe he could just disappear.

The knock on the door prevented him from disappearing completely though, which annoyed him, because he was sure he could have succeeded given enough time.

"Go away, Coops," he said all muffled behind the pillow. When he heard the door open anyway he was ready to kill his brother.

"Is that a way to greet your number one friend?" a familiar southern voice stated.

Blaine peeked out underneath the pillow and was met by Sam's boyish smile and relaxed posture.

He jerked up and ran his fingers through messed up curls. He literally hadn't showered for three days and he could only imagine how bad smelling his room might be by now. "God, Sam, what are you doing here?" he asked embarrassed.

Sam squinted. "Do you mind if I just cracked the window for like three seconds?"

With his knees pulled up to his chest, Blaine dropped his head. "I will kill Cooper for this," he mumbled.

"No, don't do that," Sam chuckled. "Your brother is one cool badass and he's gone for the rest of the day, so you can't kill him before he comes home tonight." Sam jumped up in the bed and tested the mattress.

Blaine leaned back on the wall behind the bed. "This is beyond embarrassing, Sam. How much has Cooper told you?" he sighed.

"Nah, just what you have told him, which apparently isn't much."

The tears were already prickling behind Blaine's eyelids. Sam meant too much, and he could feel every guard and precaution tumble down.

"Hey." Sam patted Blaine's leg through the duvet. "Things will work out, Blaine. I know you're a mess right now, but it will not stay that way."

"God I hope you're right," Blaine said flat.

"Look, I hate to break this to you dude, but you smell like shit," Sam said and got up. "So why don't you hit the shower and then we'll get brunch somewhere fancy. Cooper left you his credit card, which means you're buying."

Blaine laughed through his tears. Leave it to Sam to cheer him up. "Okay, okay, let do this. I owe you a nice day in New York anyway, right."

"Yep."

Taking a shower was like being born again and the clean sensation cleared his head to some extent. It would be really nice to spend a day with Sam and he probably wouldn't kill Cooper when he came home anyway. Maybe Cooper even knew what he was doing.

What a disturbing thought!

He dressed casually; a pair of denim jeans and a blue knit sweater that would do for the rising temperature outside. The sun was shining and Central Park would be a great place to hang out for a while. He shaved and gelled his hair a bit, and first then, he dared to take a closer look in the mirror. Sad eyes were reflected back to him, revealing what he felt like on the inside. But he couldn't change that and Sam was not here for a chit chat. He knew what was going on and it was such a relief not being forced to pretend that everything was fine.

He turned off the light in the bathroom and joined Sam, ready to leave. His phone was fully charged and lying securely in his jeans pocket. That way he could feel the vibration right away if someone tried to call him. It was not that he expected a call from anyone ... particular, but just in case...

The fresh air of spring met them as a breeze on the street.

"Where to Mr. Anderson?" Sam said and looked happy at the big city surroundings.

"A place where they serve a wicked brunch, Mr. Evans," Blaine answered and bumped his friends shoulder before he led the way.

Sam bounced next to him. "Is it one of those all-you-can-eat places?"

Blaine rolled his eyes. "Of course. Is there any other way to eat brunch?"

"Not in my world!"

The place was crowded, as expected; it was Sunday after all, the biggest brunch day of the week. But they managed to get a table in a corner, because Sam smiled at one of the girls leaving the spot.

They made a beeline to the buffet and soon Sam piled eggs, sausages, bacon, and bread up on his plate with a huge grin on his face.

Blaine chuckled. He had missed Sam more than he realized. The pile on his plate however was more humble. It looked delicious and his stomach was growling, but every bite would fight its way to his mouth, so why bother.

"Care to tell me what really went down between you and Kurt?" Sam asked when they had returned to their table and he had been eating for a while.

Blaine kept poking the scrambled eggs in front of him, not sure how to explain everything properly. "We danced," he finally stated. "We went out with Ally to celebrate that Kurt had finished the script and we were just having a good time. When Ally was picked up by her boyfriend, Kurt and I stayed back and ... started dancing."

"Dancing is good," Sam said while buttering his bread. "No harm done in that."

"No, no harm," Blaine repeated, "and it was fun, and Kurt was so sweet and silly, and he looked so hot. His arms are really solid, you know, and his ass is … well it looks good when he dances. I better keep it that." Blaine blushed.

Sam smirked and put down his fork for the first time. "And suddenly they put on a slow song, right?"

"Yup, and then we started dancing ... really close. He felt so good in my arms that I wanted to kiss his neck and his lips and his face so badly that I had to bite my lip not to do it. It was the best moment and the worst moment, you know. I wanted to hold him like that forever. I wanted to protect him and take care of him; promise him that I would never let him down. And at the same time I knew I couldn't have all that. It's hands off when it comes to Kurt. I can't trust myself when he is so close."

"Regardless what Kurt might feel for you?" Sam asked curious.

"Maybe he can't trust himself around me either. We're in this crazy spiral of close commitment regarding the musical. I don't think any of us really know what we're doing. It has been so intense to share this ride together and to see the dream come true. Maybe that's all it is."

"But he said that he loved you?" Sam reminded.

Blaine blushed again. "Yes... he did, but I think it was just in the heat of the moment. We had both been drinking and it had been an emotional day."

Sam emptied his juice glass and pressed a napkin to his mouth. "There is something you should know. Something Cooper told me."

Blaine looked curious at his friend.

"Kurt broke up with Benjamin Friday night. The engagement is called off," Sam said and observed Blaine's reaction.

"How do you know that?" Blaine asked out of breath.

"Benjamin texted Ally and told her. She hasn't been able to get a hold of Kurt until today, so she turned to Benjamin."

"Is Kurt alright?"

"Ally and Santana are with him today, so I'd say he's in good hands."

Blaine palmed his face. The tears were pushing him over the edge again.

Sam reached out and squeezed his arm. "Look, I'm not saying this to upset you, but I don't believe for one minute that Kurt wasn't being sincere with you. "

"I never wanted to cause trouble in his relationship," Blaine said unhappy. "I swear to god. I actually thought things would be easier between us because he was with someone else. I specifically asked him to give Benjamin another chance."

"So this is Blaine Anderson being noble?" Sam asked squinting.

"You can call it what you want, but you have to believe me; I'm only trying to do the right thing."

Sam leaned back in his seat. "I don't question your motives, Blaine. I just can't help thinking that maybe you are taking the blame for something completely out of your reach. There is no need to punish yourself or believe that you are not entitled to be happy, because you are. Stop thinking about Benjamin, or Kurt for that matter; think about how you feel. You have to figure out what you want when it comes to Kurt."

Blaine rubbed his red eyes, hesitating before he answered. "I just want to be loved," he said simply.

"By whom?"

"By Kurt, by Cooper, by you, by my dad."

"But you're trying so hard to get something that's already there." Sam's eyes were burning across the table. "We've got your back, Blaine. We all have, and it's about time you start believing it."

"I thought I was over all this. I thought I had become more confident and independent. But now it feels like I'm right back to the start. Nothing's really changed," Blaine objected.

Sam smiled in understanding. "We deal with the same kind of shit all our lives. This will always be an issue for you, and I have things that will always be an issue for me."

"So what are your issues?" Blaine asked curious.

"Trying to save the world all the time," Sam said acknowledging, "which is kind of tiring, because the world is so big and there are so many people who need help."

"Such as me," Blaine responded with a lopsided smile.

"You are my first priority, Blaine; together with Mercedes." For the first time in their conversation Sam was the one blushing.

"Thanks man," Blaine said amused. Then he looked at the left-over's on his plate and gave up. "Hey, you wanna go hang out in Central Park? I could use some fresh air."

"Sure," Sam said and rubbed his belly. "Let's move."

Central Park was full of life. Kids were playing, families were eating ice cream and couples were kissing under the trees. Different artists were performing everywhere and each area of benches had their fair share of one-man bands and jugglers. Some more talented than others.

One man in particular caught Sam's attention. It was not due to his appearance or because his voice was bigger than others; on the contrary. His clothes were worn out and his slouching posture over the guitar indicated a tough life lived.

His repertoire was mainly Beatles and old rock classics. When he started a groovy strumming beat to "A little help from my friends" Sam nudged Blaine's shoulder. "Come on, let's give him some backing."

Blaine followed him with a grin. Of course they were going to do backing for an unknown guy in Central Park.

The man almost jumped off the bench when they started harmonizing the chorus next to him.

 

Oh I get by with a little help from my friends

Oh I get high with a little help from my friends

Uh I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends

 

Sam started a rhythm with his empty water bottle on the edge of the bench and Blaine invented some sitting dance moves.

The musician's tired face cracked open in a smile now and his finger's strummed energetic over the strings of the guitar.

One song leaped in to another without the three of them saying a word to each other.

They didn't have to.

The audience around them grew and the coins in the old bowler hat were piling up quickly. After half an hour Blaine could feel the chill sneak up on them and he left to buy some coffee. When he returned Sam was talking with the musician as the crowd filed on to the next performance.

"We have all deserved a cup of coffee," Blaine said and passed the cups around. Their singing buddy, who now had introduced himself as Joe, grabbed it with gratitude.

"Thanks for the jam session guys. I really appreciated that," he said and warmed his cold hands on the steaming cup. "You better make sure to take your fair share in the hat."

"No, dude," Sam said and shook his head. "You earned that fair and square. And it was a pleasure singing with you. You're good on the guitar."

"Thanks man."

They talked for awhile and the boys soon learned that Joe played in the park every day. He was out of a job and lived on the couch at his aunt's house. Before they left Sam had given him the warm sweater he was wearing himself and wished him good luck with his next "open air" concerts in Central Park.

"Saving the world, huh," Blaine chuckled as they walked away.

"Yeah, I guess, but it was fun, right?"

"I loved it, Sam. You're cool, that's all I'm trying to say."

When they had emptied the coffee cups they started goofing around. Blaine bought a freeze bee from a little kid for $5 and soon they tossed it back and forth in fierce competition with a leash less happy dog until it's owner tracked it down. After an hour they were both warm and out of breath.

Blaine dropped down on the grass, lying spread eagle, looking up in the tree tops.

Sam joined him laughing. "I want to have a dog at some point," he said and stretched. "A golden retriever, just like my family had when I was a kid."

"I wanted a dog so badly when I was about 10 years old, but my dad wouldn't let me," Blaine said.

"We should have lived closer to each other when we were kids, then we could have shared my dog."

"Do you think we would have been friends if we had met each other as kids?"

"Did you wear bow ties back then?" Sam asked

Blaine rolled his eyes. "Of course."

"Probably not then. It would have hurt my cool factor."

"You had a cool factor?" Blaine asked teasingly.

"Nope, not a chance, I was a dweeb," Sam laughed.

"God, me too. How are things with your dad by the way?" Blaine asked.

"He is fine, I think." Sam rolled over to his side and faced Blaine. "But it's like the tough years in Lima broke his spirit or something. It's scary that life can do that kind of shit to you."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Blaine responded.

Sam shrugged it off. "How are things with your dad?"

"Um, good actually. I'm in touch with him again and we talk on the phone a couple of times a week."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It's still a bit weird ... but I'm beginning to like it. He is sponsoring the musical and seems to be determined to be there for Cooper and me again. The strange thing is that I didn't realize how much I needed him in my life before he was there again."

"That's really cool, Blaine." Sam got up sitting and pulled absentmindedly in the grass. "What if you could have both Kurt and your dad back in your life?"

Blaine got up sitting too. "I don't know … it just seems like a lot to hope for."

"Okay, let's say Benjamin hadn't been a part of the equation in the first place. If you and Kurt had met again like you did, but he had been single instead. Where would it have left you by now?"

Blaine tried to make the scenario fit into his shredded state of mind, but it was still hard. "I honestly don't know, isn't that weird?" he answered puzzled.

"No it's not weird, it's your feelings. How can they be weird? But it makes me wonder if the issue about Benjamin mainly is a cover up for something else."

Blaine pressed his lips hard together. "I don't know, I guess I'm scared."

"Scared of what, exactly?"

"Of failing, of letting Kurt down, of not giving him what he needs, of disappointing him. Then I'd lose him for the second time, and I honestly don't think I could survive that."

Sam frowned and then he leaned forward catching Blaine's eyes. "But isn't that a part of a relationship, to stumble and fall, but get up again together; working hard enough to get it right? Nobody's perfect Blaine. Nobody's supposed to be."

Blaine viewed the beautiful surroundings in the park, all thoughtful. "I guess, but I'm still so confused, Sam."

"Well that's alright, you need to take your time with this."

Sam got up and brushed the grass off of his pants and reached out to pull Blaine up too. "Do you think you can eat something?"

"I'll try," Blaine said. "I've been on Kurt's back for losing weight, so I better step it up myself."

Sam chuckled and shook his head.

"What?" Blaine asked sheepishly.

"Nothing." Sam put his arm around Blaine's shoulder. "I just think things will work out, that's all!"

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Either someone was breaking up his door with an axe or else he was caught in the line of fire in some fucked up Mafia movie. Kurt had a really hard time deciding which one would be more likely in his sleepy mind, but who cared anyway.

He just wanted to be left alone.

It was not until a very annoying voice tried to talk to him that he gained the willpower to open his eyes, figuring something out. His body was aching everywhere and his head was pounding when he peeked out through heavy eyelids.

He'd had too much to drink last night for sure.

A blurred image of Santana scared the shit out of him, but when he jerked up he knew this would be no day for rapid movements. "God, Santana, what are you doing here?" he asked with a raspy voice he hardly recognized as his own. "I don't remember inviting you." He got down on the couch really slowly again, afraid to stir the nauseous monster suddenly residing in his stomach.

"I don't need an invite when I have a spare key, remember?" Santana said perky.

Snarky bitch as ever!

"I knew I shouldn't have trusted you with that," he moaned.

"Kurt, you're a dick, do you know that?" Ally suddenly said from behind him.

He looked around, more awake this time. "Okay, how many people have I not invited, and why am I a dick?" he asked offensive.

Ally's face became clearer and the angry furrows between her eyes made a statement of their own.

"For not answering my calls and for locking yourself in here when you clearly need somebody to talk to. What kind of shitty friend do you think I am? I needed to know that you were okay."

Kurt closed his eyes. She was right, of course, but it hadn't crossed his mind she would be that worried. "Well I need to know if I'm okay too, so please, tell me if you figure something out."

Ally slapped his shoulder.

"Ouch, don't do that, my body is a delicate matter today," he whined. "And what do you want from me, anyway?"

"We need to make sure that you're in good condition for tomorrow when rehearsals starts," Santana bit back and opened a couple of windows with exaggerating movements as Ally started clearing the table by the couch where Kurt had passed out last night.

This was overstepping all his boundaries, but he was too hungover to complain about it now. When the new fresh air in the room had cleared his head some more, Ally pulled him up in a sitting position, handing him a glass of water and two aspirins. He drank greedily after swallowing the pills, not realizing that he had been so thirsty. Then he leaned back quietly and watched the two girls clean up around him. Finally Ally handed him a cup of coffee and sat down. "Look, we know what has happened, or at least some of it, and we're here for the rest of day if you want to talk about it. If you just need us to be around and watch movies all day, then we'll do that, but we're not leaving."

The hot coffee was soothing the queasiness and the pills were fighting off the headache to a point where it was bearable. "Thank you, Ally," he said and squeezed her leg. "I know I want a shower, and I know I'm glad you guys are here, but besides that I know nothing."

He didn't cry until he stood in the shower.

It was easier that way.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

When Cooper drove Sam to the airport he was well aware that he owed this guy a lot more than the plane ticket. Blaine was on his feet again, maybe not emotionally, but at least physically and it seemed like the boys had enjoyed their time together. He had come to respect the straight forward guy that seemed to have a special connection with Blaine.

Now the ride was their only chance to talk without Blaine overhearing something, and Cooper decided to be bold enough to ask.

"What do you think, Sam, about this situation with Kurt? Is there anything you can tell me without betraying Blaine's trust in you?"

Sam smiled at Cooper. "I think Blaine has realized that this is not really about Benjamin anymore. Now he just needs some time to decide how far his heart will go for Kurt."

"He is crazy about him; you do know that, right?" Cooper asked.

Sam nodded with a chuckle. "Yes, he is in really deep, always has been I think. Can I give you advice though? Then it's up to you if you can use it for anything."

"Yes of course, give me what you have." Cooper said thankful.

"I think you guys should try to starve him of information about Kurt in these next couple of weeks. If you push him to talk or to make things right again, he will back away so fast you'll only see the dust. So don't say a word, unless he is initiating it."

"Really?"

Sam smiled. "Yeah. Trust me."

"Thanks man," Cooper said, "for everything you've done for him. I hope we see you in New York once in awhile."

"Me too," Sam said, and fist bombed Cooper before he left the car and headed for check-in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews are always lovely to get ;-)
> 
> See you on Sunday. Nice chapter is coming up!
> 
> Love Melissa


	15. Like Flowers Through Concrete

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not going to spoil anything!
> 
> Enjoy

The first couple of days felt like surviving hell.

He would get up in the morning, go to the theater, gather all his energy to smile to people, be nice, and rehearse. Then he would stumble home and cry for the most of the evening while watching movies with Santana or Ally.

So far they hadn't left him alone for one single night.

He knew it was a lot for them to offer, but he couldn't manage to be alone right now.

He would have long conversations with both of the girls. Ally was most familiar with everything that had been going down the last couple of months, while Santana knew about his past with Blaine.

He would cherish them forever for keeping his spirit up and his soul sane.

The friendship with Santana was very different from the friendship with Rachel. It was more raw and honest; less glamourous and twirping birds. There were times in Kurt's life where he needed the Latino's bitchy point of view and by experience he knew that she was more often right than wrong.

In rare moments of truth he reluctantly had to admit that he missed living with her in the loft, but he would never tell her that, of course.

"Can I ask you a question?" he said one night after they had watched a movie with a plot he'd already forgotten.

"Shoot," she said and tried to collect the popcorn she accidentally had sat on.

"Do you believe in soulmates?"

Santana rolled her eyes. "What kind of shitty question is that, Lady Hummel?"

He put his tired head to rest at a cushion and crumbled into a ball on the couch. "That's not a shitty question and I need to know; for science!"

"You may need to know, but I'm not sure you want to hear what I have to say."

"I've never asked you to pretend anything with me and I'm not starting now," Kurt stated calmly.

"Suit yourself," she shrugged. " I just … I don't really believe in soulmates. I believe in love and I believe you can meet someone you are really compatible with, but that's all."

"Why?"

"I don't know. It's just too much pressure. Being soulmates means that there is only one person for you out there. What if you never get to meet that someone? Will your life then be a waste? And does everybody have a soulmate or is it just some chosen ones? I think love is a gambling game of trials and errors and a lot of struggle until you get it right. And I'm not sitting around waiting for somebody, and I refuse to be disappointed with what I've got this far."

Kurt wasn't surprised by her point of view and he admired her for taking responsibility for her own happiness. "Do you still love Brittney?" he then asked.

The defiant expression in the brown eyes softened instantly. "Yes, that will never change, but I wouldn't call her my soulmate. She was my first real love and she will always be special to me."

Kurt smiled sad. "Do you ever dream about getting back together with her?"

"I dream, yes." Santana twisted a silver ring around on her finger absentmindedly. "And I think if I asked her, there would still be a place for me in her heart. But things are more complicated than that. It's so easy to love Brittney too much. Whenever I thought she was mine completely there was always a part of her she would give so freely to other people. Not out of disrespect, but because that's who she is. You can never cage her. She is a free spirit and she has to stay that way." Santana blinked and a hurt expression drifted through her eyes. "It's just hard for me to share her attention and then I'd rather set her free. I actually think Sam would say the same thing, even though it's slightly odd to team up with him about anything."

Kurt tried to make the pieces of the puzzle fit. "So you don't want to get back together with her out of love?"

"Partly, but also because I need to take care of myself."

Kurt thought about it for awhile. "Do you think it's the same thing with me and Blaine? Should I give him up in order not to hurt him any further; or get hurt for that matter?"

Now Santana sat up straight. "No," she said strongly and shook her head. "It's not the same thing. Blaine was yours from the start, even when he didn't know it, and believe it or not, even when he was fooling around."

"Well he doesn't want to be mine now," Kurt reminded her flat.

Santana moved closer and caught his eyes. "Do you honestly believe he doesn't want you?"

Kurt looked back and searched his soul. "No," he then said, "no I don't really believe that."

"I'm glad we cleared that up, then you're not in denial as much as I thought you were."

"What am I supposed to do, Santana?" he asked brokenhearted.

"The only thing you can do," she answered with a smile. "Wait for him."

With that in mind Kurt went to bed; seven days after Blaine had left him on the dance floor and five days after he had called off the engagement with Benjamin.

He had been so broken over the weekend, convinced that everything between him and Blaine was lost forever. But hope is hard to put out for good, and he noticed how it was stirring again, growing up like a flower pushing through hard concrete.

He had no regrets; not at all. He didn't regret finding Blaine again, or working with him, or falling in love with him again. He didn't regret being together with Benjamin, and he didn't regret breaking up with him. His life was a web of decisions he had made the best way he knew how and regretting them would be like denying who he was today.

He could have lived without the heartache, but it was there for now, and he couldn't change a thing about it.

So everything inside of him was on hold, waiting, and trusting for things to happen.

After two weeks of rehearsal Kurt went to Lima for the weekend. He needed to be spoiled and taken care of, and he missed his dad. It could only be a quick trip, but Rose and Michael had come up with a few changes to the rehearsal schedule, which allowed him time off from Friday night to Sunday night.

Rose had been nothing but amazing. At first he had tried to keep her out of his hardship, but she had asked about Blaine and had noticed that something was off. He had been fine as long as they were just were running lines, but when they started rehearsing the songs he had lost it. So she knew why he sometimes needed a break, and lately she could tell even before he said anything.

The weekend at home was everything he had hoped it would be. Carol was making all his favorite dishes and Saturday afternoon they took a trip to the mall. Carol and his dad had been invited to a political party with a lot of important connections, and Carol hadn't found anything to wear so far. Kurt enjoyed the chit chat and the easiness that had always been a part of his relationship with Carol.

In the evening they would spend hours over dinner, talking about the musical, the break up with Benjamin, and about Blaine; a lot about Blaine.

When he was sitting on the plane on his way back to New York things had shifted in him somehow. He missed Blaine like a physical ache, but he would have to trust Blaine's heart to find its way home, no matter what.

Maybe it was some sort of clarity or maybe it was because his hands were tied. He couldn't do anything to change the situation right now, but it somehow felt alright anyway.

He could wait for Blaine, even with a bleeding heart.

____________________________________________________________________________

The day spent with Sam had pulled Blaine out of the bad spiral, and he found it easier to focus on the few tasks he was expected to manage. The band was on hiatus due to Matt's engagement in the musical, which meant Blaine only had to teach his students.

Kevin was making remarkable progress and Joyce had never once again mentioned that her son's focus shouldn't be taken away from the classical music; and Blaine understood why it wasn't her main concern anymore. Kevin was booming with confidence and he trusted Blaine more and more, sharing a lot of the bigger and smaller problems you can have as an 8 year old boy. Blaine enjoyed their time together. Something about Kevin touched him in his own process of restoring the relationship with his dad.

But today Kevin seemed distracted and Blaine had to stop teaching to ask what was on his mind.

The little guy looked at him with a worried expression. "You look very sad, Blaine, and I think it's because I'm soon moving on to the program. But you shouldn't worry, we can still be friends."

Blaine looked into the big naive eyes and was sincerely moved by the boys concern. "You are just the sweetest boy I know," he replied with a smile. "And yes, I do hope we can stay friends. But I'm mainly sad about some grown-up stuff and you don't have to worry about me. I'll be alright."

"My mom always say that when grown-ups are sad it's either because of money or love," Kevin continued, wise beyond his years.

Blaine couldn't help laughing. "Your mother is a very clever woman, Kev."

"So what is it?"

It wasn't reasonable to involve an 8 year old boy in all his heartache, but Kevin had trusted him with a lot of emotional stuff over the time and Blaine suddenly felt it was unfair not to be honest with him.

"Well, it could easily have been about money, but this time it's about love." he answered and winked.

"Are you in love with a girl but you're afraid to tell her?"

Blaine looked at the boy for a long moment. This could be tricky, but often children were more understanding than adults.

"You're almost right, Kevin, except … that I'm in love with a boy, not a girl." Blaine watched the child's face as the information was processed.

"Is that a bad thing?" Kevin finally asked.

"No, it's a good thing, for me, but some people find it kind of weird."

"I don't think it's weird at all and I have a new best friend, her name is Lucy, and she says it's best to tell how you feel. So I think you should tell him and then be happy again."

Blaine ruffled the boy's hair. "Yeah I guess I should."

Kevin beamed, convinced that he had solved all his teacher's problems.

"Look, enough of the grown-up stuff," Blaine said in a lighter tone. "I actually want to give you and your mom something."

"What is it?" Kevin asked excited.

"I will give you tickets to come a watch my musical. It's almost finished and I would love for you to be there one night."

Kevin opened his mouth, but then he closed it again, clearly holding something back.

"You don't have to go if you don't want to," Blaine said.

"I want to go," Kevin said quickly, "but do you think my friend Lucy could come too?"

"Oh," Blaine said in understanding. "I'm sure I can get a ticket for Lucy as well."

At that moment Joyce stepped into the room to come and pick up Kevin. Her son ran to her with big shiny eyes. "Mom, mom, guess where we are going?" he said and jumped up and down.

Joyce laughed at the boys happiness. "Well why don't you tell me?."

"We can come and watch Blaine's musical, he has tickets for us, and for Lucy too, do you think she can come, and then Blaine is in love with a boy, and some people think that's weird, but I think it's really cool!"

Blaine's jaw dropped to the floor as he looked horrified at Joyce. "Out of context that just sounded all wrong," he whined.

Joyce stepped closer, still laughing at her sons outburst. "I know Kevin's out-of-context perception. Don't worry, Blaine."

"I mean it's true that I have tickets for you guys, if you want to go," Blaine stuttered.

"We would love to go," Joyce assured. "It would be so much fun now that Kevin can play some of your songs."

Blaine willed himself to relax again. "Great, then I'll make sure you get some nice seats."

They talked for awhile and agreed on Sunday, the day after opening night. Then Blaine would text Michael and have him make a reservation for three seats on one of the first rows.

Right before Kevin and Joyce disappeared out of the door, Joyce looked at him with warm eyes. "I hope we get to meet the man you're in love with at some point."

Blaine sighed and blushed by her acceptance and her boldness. "Things are pretty complicated right now and I don't know what will happen to tell you the truth."

She reached out and squeezed his arm. "Life is complicated and so is love, but sometimes that's what makes it beautiful and worth it all."

Blaine melted on the spot and smiled. "Thanks, Joyce."

____________________________________________________________________________

A week later Blaine was at a breaking point. He was restless and annoyed beyond compare.

Nobody was telling him anything about Kurt!

He had been so ready to cut them off if they had tried to push him or give him subtle hints, that it was almost a disappointment that they didn't.

He was pacing the floor, waiting for Matt to come home from the theater so they could work some more on the last arrangement.

At first he had been kind of relieved. He didn't want to talk about Kurt and he didn't want to hear any cute stories from rehearsal about him. But the last couple of days, maybe even the last week, everything had changed and he had hoped for something to slip. Somebody was bound to mention Kurt at some point. He would pretend he didn't hear it - of course - or indicate that it wasn't a big deal.

But nobody did!

He spend time with Matt at least every other day and he would have expected something from him.

But not a word!

Blaine knew he could visit the theater if he wanted to and he could call Kurt if he wanted to, but he still didn't know what to say or what to do. So he stayed home.

"Are you alright, dude," Matt asked and turned over the sheet they had been working on as Blaine got up and started pacing the floor. Matt had been there for half an hour and Blaine was about to bite his tongue off not to say anything, but the frustration got the better of him.

"Oh yes, of course, I am just reeeally fine," he said drily.

Matt put down his pencil and turned around to face Blaine completely. "Why don't you tell me what's going on?"

Blaine pressed his lips tight together and folded his arms. "How is Kurt doing?" he finally burst out.

"Oh," Matt mouthed with his lips.

Blaine slouched down in the chair again. "Yeah, oh," he said more relaxed.

Matt cleared his throat. "What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to tell me the truth. I need to know if he's alright!"

"He has been miserable," Matt answered simply and had a hard time looking straight at his friend. "He's fighting his way through every day and I know he misses you."

Blaine closed his eyes. "Is there anybody to take care of him?" he asked broken.

"Yes, Ally and Santana have spent a lot of time with him. And this weekend he has been home to visit his dad and Carol."

"God, he must hate me. Everybody must think that I was a jerk to him!"

Matt looked at his friend with warm eyes. "No, Blaine. He doesn't hate you, he loves you. He's just a bit broken hearted right now; and for the rest of us, we all know how unexpected life can be and how easy it is to get lost."

Blaine felt the tears burn in his eyes. "Thank you, Matt. Will you promise me to look after him until opening night?"

"I already am; we all are," Matt answered, "and we're trying to look after you too. I think you should know that."

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Kurt was sitting on the edge of the stage. Ten days before opening night the play was still nothing but bits and pieces and it seemed like there was a long way to go. On Monday they would finally start rehearsing together with the orchestra and by Wednesday all costumes should be ready. Ally had moved her sewing team down to the theater so smaller alterations could be made right away. Sound and light had had their share of problems due to the more dramatic scenes and other problems seemed to line up.

Some of the actors were not exactly gifted with impressive dancing skills and Santana had had to change steps along the way. But she had really impressed Kurt and the late conversations during the nights in his apartment had strengthened their friendship even more.

But in all the chaos of problems and challenges Michael was confident that everything would come together nicely within the next week and Kurt knew it would make everything worse if he tried to pace things. So he teamed up with Michael and appeared calm at all times.

"What's up with all the pictures you're taking, Cooper," Kurt asked while he was making a note in the script. Cooper had been snapping away all afternoon; of rehearsals, of Kurt's costume fittings, of his performance together with Rose and now here on the edge of the stage.

"It's for … the web site, obviously," Cooper said with a flashing smile, "and … the program."

Kurt frowned. "I thought the pictures for the program already had been chosen. Aren't they supposed to be at the printers office by now?"

"Yes … um, so maybe these will be for a wall of fame when you're a big Broadway star, and then there still … the um … web site."

Kurt squinted suspiciously, but then he shrugged it off. "If you say so, just make sure to get my good side, right."

"You only have good sides, Kurt," Cooper said and winked.

"Shut up, Coops!"

________________________________________________________________________________

A couple of days after Blaine had talked to Matt, Cooper was coming home like a tornado. He was clearly in a hurry, but also in a splendid mood.

"What's up with you?" Blaine asked suspiciously. Cooper was always in a good mood, but this was bordering to exstatic.

Cooper tossed his coat over a chair and beamed at his brother while he unpacked his computer. "I have a date tonight," he said. "I finally manned myself up to ask her out, without a chaperone, you know."

"Katie?"

"God, yes, Katie," Cooper laughed.

Blaine grinned. "You don't usually have to man yourself up to ask a girl out on a date."

"I know, I know," Cooper agreed eagerly. "And that's because they usually can't resist my charm and wit, but with Katie I wanted it to be special, and then … I've been terrified that she'd turn me down. I mean we have to work together, you know."

"Well, congrats! Does that mean I don't have to wait up, or that I should stay in my room no matter what happens?" Blaine asked with a smirk.

"You don't have to wait up, but there will be no funny business. It is our first date, and Katie should be treated like a lady."

"I think I'll stay in my room, just in case," Blaine said and winked.

Cooper tossed a wet cloth from the kitchen counter after his brother. But Blaine's reflexes worked perfectly and he duck right before it would have hit him.

"I went to the theater today, by the way," Cooper said casually.

Blaine stopped in his tracks with a beating heart. "Okay, and things are going as planned?"

"Yeah, it looks like it. I took a bunch of pictures if you want to see them."

"Pictures for what?" Blaine asked without showing too much interest.

"The web site and stuff, and for the fun of it, you know. Maybe you could take a look at them and tell me what you think and which ones to use. Then I'll hit the shower now."

"No, I … um, I'm sure you know how to pick the right ones," Blaine wavered, and shot a glance at Cooper's laptop on the table.

Cooper smiled. "Okay, suit yourself," he said and headed for the bathroom.

As soon as Blaine could hear the water running he hurried over to Cooper's computer and looked frantically for the pictures. There had to be some of Kurt, and he needed to see them as he needed air to breathe. He just wasn't ready to let Cooper know yet.

It didn't take long to find the folder named "A Song for Cordelia" and with shaking hands he opened it. There had to be at least 100 pictures and as far as he could tell from the index viewing half of them was of Kurt.

A smile, bigger than his face could contain, spread from ear to ear. This was amazing, and Cooper had totally done it on purpose, but it was hard to be mad at him right now.

Blaine quickly closed the window again when the water was turned off and made sure Cooper's computer looked exactly like he'd left it. Then he hurried over to the kitchen and started cooking something for himself. He had to take a closer look at those pictures, and he would, as soon as Cooper was out the door.

"So, how do I look?" Cooper's voice startled him from behind.

Blaine turned around and gave his brother a once-over. "Charming," he said with smirk. "Katie will obviously not know what hit her."

"I know," Cooper said and waggled his ass.

"God, will you get out of here!" Blaine said laughing.

"Yes, I'm leaving now. Did you get a chance to look at the pictures?"

Blaine's eyes shot back to the computer. "No, I kind of forgot again."

"Okay, maybe you can do it tomorrow. I have to take the computer with me and drop it off at the office. There's a special program on here they need for an ASAP job." Cooper started rolling in the wire as he spoke.

Blaine was suddenly panicking. "You know, maybe … if you could mail the pictures to me, I could … take a look at them tonight … I mean, if I have some extra time, that is."

Cooper raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Sure, I'll do that right away." Then he bent over the computer and found the folder Blaine had just watched.

Blaine knew that Cooper knew, but he honestly didn't care. He just wanted to look at the pictures.

He turned around and busied himself with the pasta he was boiling. This would be a good night and for once it didn't bother him to be alone.

After Cooper had left Blaine took his time eating dinner. There was no need to rush, he wasn't that desperate. Then he cleaned the dishes and organized everything in the living room. When he couldn't think of anything else to do he went into his bedroom and closed the door before he grabbed his laptop and made himself comfortable on the bed.

He had received the complete folder and started clicking through the pictures slowly.

They were really good.

Cooper wasn't a bad photographer at all. It was mainly candid pictures, but with a clear focus point and a nice capture of different situations.

When the first picture of Kurt showed on his screen he just exhaled.

He was stunningly beautiful.

Cooper had captured his profile perfectly as he was talking to Rose. He was wearing a green t-shirt and a vest in a rough cotton texture. His blue jeans had a washed-out expression that emphasized the raw look, but also served as a contrast to his perfectly coiffed hair.

Blaine reached out and let his fingers run over the screen. He would give anything to be allowed to touch Kurt again; to let his fingers run through the chestnut hair.

He moved on to the next picture. This was more from the front. Kurt looked focused, clearly listening to Rose who was gesturing with her hands.

Blaine clicked forward again and again, lingering at every picture of Kurt as he simply melted away. It looked like Cooper had followed them most of the day, from the morning rehearsals to the fittings later in the day.

Ally had designed three different outfits for Coalan. The first one Kurt would wear in the beginning when he was nothing but a poor singer, living on the street. The clothes was patched up and out worn, kept in dark earth colors. It looked baggy on Kurt's lean body. He had lost more weight, no doubt about that, which wasn't good.

The second outfit was designed to Coalan's wealthy days. It was heavily embroidered with multiple details, and fitted perfectly around Kurt's narrow waist and his broad shoulders. The look was completely mesmerising. In these pictures Kurt was posing and looking directly into the camera with a beautiful daring expression.

The last fitting showed the outfit for the last scene, which was more toned down. Kurt was wearing champagne colored pants, detailed and tailored, and a beautiful white shirt in a very light and airy material.

In the last picture of Kurt he was sitting on the edge of the stage with a script in his hands. He was smiling and there was a spark in the baby blue eyes, looking straight at him.

Blaine started crying.

Without a warning his eyes welled up with tears.

Who was he kidding? He could never live without Kurt. He wanted him, he needed him, and more than anything, he loved him.

Laughter bubbled through his throat and escaped with the tears still falling. He didn't have a lot to offer, but if Kurt wanted him, then who was he to question their love?

Cooper tip toed into the apartment around midnight. It had been an amazing night. Katie was everything and more than he had ever dreamed of. The hardest part about being so in love however, was not making things worse for Blaine.

Blaine didn't need to know every detail by now, there would be plenty of time. But Cooper was pretty sure that Katie was it, and he was looking so much forward to their next date.

When he walked into the living room he stopped and looked around. Everything was so neat and organized. Not that they didn't keep it clean usually, but Blaine must have had some extra time on his hands.

He opened the door quietly to Blaine's room. If he was awake he just wanted to say good night.

All the light was turned on in the room, but Blaine had passed out on his bed, fully clothed. Next to him his laptop was still running.

He looked really peaceful for once, Cooper thought, and went for a blanket. After tucking it around his brother he turned to close the computer down. And there, smiling from the screen, was a picture of Kurt and his blue eyes.

Cooper melted and fist pumped silently in the air.

This was a good thing.

This was progress.

When he closed the door behind him again he picked up the phone and texted a very short message.

 

Cooper to Kurt:

Don't give up on him ;-)

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Kurt was lying in bed, almost asleep when the text from Cooper came through. He stared at the words for a long time.

What did Cooper mean exactly? Had something happened?

The sentence alone could be a plead; a wish more than a realistic hope, but the winking smiley indicated something more, didn't it?

The words beamed at him, suppressing the darkness in the room, making his heart leap.

He put down the phone again and smiled to the ceiling.

Note to self: when you cry, lying on your back, tears will run into your ears.

______________________________________________________________________________

After four days Blaine couldn't contain it anymore.

It was like keeping a secret larger than life; a secret that wanted to escape him, and threatened to explode and cover him up in giddiness and joy.

It was not that he didn't want to share it with anybody, but he wanted to be absolutely sure; and now that he was, he just needed a plan.

One morning it just burst out of him.

He and Cooper had invited Matt and Megan over for brunch, and it was way too many people who cared too much about him to let it go.

"I am so in love with Kurt, and I want to ask him to be my boyfriend again," he suddenly said with stuttering voice and heated cheeks.

Megan dropped her fork on her plate with a loud noise, and Cooper's glass stopped mid air.

"Do you mean it?" Matt asked excited. "Are you really going to ask him?"

Blaine threw his head back and started to laugh. "God, yes, I'm going to ask him. Look at me, how am I supposed to live without him? It's ridiculous to even try."

Megan threw herself into his arms and giggled. "I am so happy for you Blainers. You deserve him so much!"

Blaine hugged her back and caught Cooper's eyes over her shoulder. A wide spread smile was pasted on his brother's face.

"Are you coming to the theater with us this week then?" Matt asked happily. "Everybody is dying to meet you and it would be a great surprise."

"Look," Blaine said and stopped his friend with a hand movement. "I want to do this right. I owe it to Kurt. I'm not just going down there out of nowhere. I want it to be special. I want it to be something we will remember forever."

"Aww," Megan said dreamily. "That's a good point."

Matt smiled down in his plate and Megan suddenly blushed. They were awfully cute together.

"What do you have in mind, Bee?" Cooper asked.

Blaine looked at them with beaming eyes. "I'm going to wait until opening night. I want him to believe that I can't make it, and then I'll surprise him. I will bring flowers and I will sing a song for him at the after party; something like that. So I'm going to need your help to distract him at certain points."

"Well aren't you full of surprises, Blaine," Matt said and shook his head. "And of course we'll help you. Can we tell Ally and Santana and Rose too?"

Blaine hesitated. "Of course, but I don't really know Rose, does she have to know?"

The other three nodded in unison. "Yes, Rose needs to be a part of it, she is in this too deep not to be involved."

"Okay, you can tell her too, then."

____________________________________________________________________________________

For the next couple of days Blaine was nothing but a nervous wreck. What had seemed like a brilliant idea in his head and in his dreams, was a lot more scary as opening night approached.

His main concern was Kurt's reaction. What if he had hurt him so much that he would back away? He had every right to do that after Blaine had just left him and had refused to talk about what was happening.

But now it was Blaine's turn to be brave and to put his heart on the line.

He considered at least hundred different songs to sing, but every time his heart was set on something, he changed his mind.

What kind of song do you sing to the love of your life?

When he at last set his mind on a final song, it turned out to be a really simple, but important one. It would signal something to Kurt, without being too obvious for everybody else.

Kurt would know what he meant.

He went to the florist three days ahead and made sure that they would have the right flowers when he needed them Saturday afternoon.

Then he waited.

Every hour seemed to go on for days, and every day was nothing but a split second. It was a constant pull and push in his soul. How is it possible to want something so much and yet be so scared of getting it?

He was driving Cooper insane with all his questions and "what-ifs", and he was driving himself crazy when Cooper wasn't home.

Thursday he suddenly got a text.

 

To Blaine from Kurt

Hi Blaine. I hope to see you on opening night. There is a ticket ready for you at the door. Miss you.

 

Blaine looked at the text - shit, shit, shit. This wasn't supposed to happen. Matt had promised he would break the news about Blaine not being there for opening night so Kurt knew.

Matt obviously had forgotten.

He stared at the display, not sure what to answer. Then he sighed and whispered: "Please, please forgive me for this, Kurt."

 

To Kurt from Blaine

I'm so sorry Kurt, but I can't make it to opening night. Kevin is playing his first concert on Saturday, and I have promised to be there for him. I'm coming Sunday, though.

Miss you too.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

It hurt!

It hurt so much that he stomach knotted up. After being okay since he came home from Lima Kurt was sucked down in the abyss again.

Blaine wouldn't be there for opening night and it shouldn't be that big of a deal. He would get to see him and that was all that mattered right now.

But it was opening night.

It was the reward for everything they had fought for this winter and it was a testimony of their friendship.

Kurt decided to disappear, only for ten minutes and then he would be alright again. But Ally knew his favorite place to "disappear" and soon she sat down next to him in the darkness, hidden between boxes of props and makeup.

"Is it a bad day?" she asked quietly, not demanding anything of him other than the possibility to talk. Their friendship had never been closer and Kurt just grabbed her hand.

"It's no big deal, really," he answered, "but Blaine can't make it to opening night on Saturday. He will be there Sunday though."

Ally didn't seem surprised like he thought she might be. He knew she wanted Blaine there just as much as he did. He was not the only one missing the man with the golden warm eyes.

"I know this must be hard, Kurt, and I wish I could take all your hurt away."

"I know you can't do that, but I miss him so much that I can hardly think straight."

She squeezed his hand. "Kurt, I know everything is going to be alright. I cannot tell you why I know, I just know."

Kurt examined her face for some kind of clue, but was met with nothing but her comforting loving smile.

"Please trust me, Kurt," she said gently.

He gave her a feather light kiss on her cheek. "Okay," he said and dragged her into his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter left ... and it will be a good one ;-)
> 
> Please review if you've got the time.
> 
> See you Wednesday
> 
> Love Melissa


	16. A Secret Well Kept

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes a story takes a life of its own and this one is no exeption. As I tried to write the last chapter I kept on adding things and taking more time around certain scenes and suddenly I'd written 15.000 words instead of 5.000 - 6.000. So I have decided to divide the last chapter into three chapters instead - which means I'm sticking around for one week more. I hope that's okay :)
> 
> Now let's move on to opening night!

The minute Kurt stepped into the theater on the day for opening night he could tell something was up. First he blamed it on excitement and nerves for the debut of the play, it was only natural, but soon he suspected it was more than that.

The cast was sending him secretive smiles and Matt was smirking every time he saw him, only subtle, but Kurt noticed. Even sweet, calm, Rose seemed to be off the edge about something, but every time he asked, everybody got really busy and explained it was excitement for tonight's performance.

Eventually he gave up and focused on the task ahead of him; and a few hours before curtain call he had forgotten all about it.

He had made sure to create some rituals about his routines, things he would repeat before each show. It calmed his nerves and kept his thoughts on track. Unguarded, his mind would go crazy places. Blaine was one thing, but this day was surreal enough on it's own. Even in his most optimistic hours he'd always had this nagging beast of doubt sitting on his shoulder, reminding him that maybe this dream would never come true. But today he had proved the beast wrong and Kurt was getting beyond emotional about it.

He had been greeted throughout the day by friends and families with sweet text messages, flowers and chocolate – all saying "break a leg" or "we're proud of you". So many people would be there for him tonight. Rachel and Mark, Fred, Cooper and Katie, his dad and Carol, Finn, a few of his NYADA friends, Santana and one of her friends from the dance studio, and even his vocal coach would show up despite his busy schedule.

15 minutes before curtain call he was sitting in front of the mirror, breathing calmly.

He was ready.

He was ready to give it his all.

He was ready to bring Coalan to life on the stage and make sure the theater world would notice.

With a loud noise Rose suddenly burst into his room, red cheeked and panting.

"What's happening, Rose," Kurt asked alarmed and turned around in his chair.

"Nothing," she said with big eyes. "I'm just all of a sudden … very, very nervous."

Kurt frowned. They had discussed this on several occasions and panic attacks right before a show had not seemed like one of Rose's concerns. "You said yesterday that you never really got nervous, but just excited."

Rose rolled her eyes dramatically. "I know! Isn't that the weirdest thing?"

"Okay," Kurt sighed and gave in, "come and sit here and let's talk."

Rose stalled and seemed indecisive. "Um … maybe we could go to my room," she suggested. "I feel more comfortable there; in my own surroundings."

Kurt stared at her in puzzlement. "Sure," he then said and got up, hoping it wouldn't take too long. He needed to stay in this contemplative state of mind he had just found.

He followed Rose down the hallway and into her room. Everything was neatly organized and nothing in there bore witness about a girl not fully prepared to perform.

She turned around and closed the door behind them. "So, I don't know what is happening, Kurt. I know I've got everything under control, and maybe I'm just going to need your help with … some breathing exercises."

She seemed pretty proud of herself to come up with that kind of lame suggestion, Kurt thought, still not sure where this was heading. "I don't really do breathing exercises," he confessed, "not quite my thing, you see."

The disappointment in Rose's face was kind of adorable and Kurt felt a bit guilty. "But I'll be happy to stand here and cheer you on as you do … breathing exercises," he added quickly.

"No, it's not quite the same," she said worried. "Hey, what if you just gave me a pep-talk?" she added.

"Okay," he said relieved, "pep-talks are good." He stepped closer to her and made sure to put on a professional expression. "Rose, you can do this. You're an amazing performer and a wonderful singer and tonight we will enter that stage together and bring the house down."

He was just getting started with those few lines when she suddenly shot him a full force smile. "You know, I feel a lot better now, Kurt. This was just what I needed."

"It was?" he asked surprised.

Rose nodded eagerly. "And now you can go back to your own room. I'm sure you need a minute to yourself."

Kurt gave up.

He officially gave up understanding what this whole ordeal had been about, but he managed to keep his eye roll at bay until he had left her room. "You never know people until you have seen them under pressure," he mumbled to himself.

But everything about Rose was erased from his mind the minute he entered his room again. Right on the table, in front of the mirror, was a huge bouquet of flowers; red and yellow roses, bursting open and blurring his vision in a heartbeat. He slowly stepped closer, holding back his breath and blinking the tears away. He couldn't see a card, but it just had to be from Blaine.

He heard Rose stirring behind him. "Do you know who these roses are from?" he asked and turned around. But instead of Rose's sweet face and the blond curls he was met by Blaine's amber eyes and parted lips.

"They're from me," he said with a soft voice.

Kurt couldn't breathe.

A month of separation had starved him of all the beauty standing in front of him. The dark hair, the broad shoulders, the smile that could light up every dark spot in his world. His heart was beating fiercely by that one lingering look from Blaine, reducing him to needing and wanting so bad. "I thought you couldn't come," Kurt said with a shaky voice and stepped closer.

Blaine's eyes were burning in the dimmed light. "I wouldn't miss this for the world, Kurt."

The memories of his name being said with so much love that he could hardly contain it, hit him with a tingling sensation in his stomach.

They moved into each other's arms at the same time, slowly, but confident, and the warm embrace spread to the very core of Kurt, as if being held that tight would heal whatever had been broken inside of him.

There was no time for words, Kurt knew that, but when the stage manager reminded him about "5 minutes left" he still only reluctantly let go.

Blaine licked his lips and cleared his throat nervously. "You look beautiful."

"You too," Kurt said. Blaine seemed lost somehow, testing the waters and it made Kurt's heart bleed. "Thanks for the flowers … they are quite breathtaking."

"I'm happy you like them," Blaine said relieved.

"I love them," Kurt assured.

The commotion from the hallway snuck into their little bubble. Blaine reached out and skimmed his hand down Kurt's arm. "We'll talk later, right?" he said with begging eyes.

"Sure," Kurt breathed out, "definitely."

Blaine smiled. "Now go do your magic, beautiful boy," he said and with one last lingering stare he left for his seat.

Kurt paced the room, fanning his face frantically. With the amount of makeup he was wearing it was a really bad call to cry three minutes before curtain call.

He couldn't believe what had just happened. He had spent all day getting used to the idea of Blaine not being there and now he was.

He was sitting on the other side of the curtain and it was about all Kurt could comprehend right now. Blaine had bought flowers for him, and not just some random bouquet, he had bought red and yellow roses, that had to mean something, right?

When he finally succeeded in fighting the tears back he had about 30 seconds to enter a calm state of mind again. Contemplative my ass, he thought giddy; he was more like on cloud nine and he didn't even know if he was supposed to be there! "To talk" was not the same thing as getting a second chance or getting back together … but the flowers … and the hug. God he could fly to the moon and back again after that hug.

Rose passed his door and reached out her hand. "Are you ready?" she asked, all calm and relaxed.

"Rose," Kurt said sternly. "You knew! You set me up with this nervous jittery act of yours! Now it all make sense."

Rose batted her false eyelashes, big enough to fan the back row of the theater. "I have no idea what you're talking about, love," she said coyly and grabbed his hand so they could walk to the side of the stage together.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

From the moment Kurt hit the spotlight he disappeared into the role of Coalan. This character that he had created, struggling so hard to find his true calling, fighting for the love of his life, was blessed with so much happiness in return. Kurt was aware that a lot of his soul was invested into Coalan, and acting it out was a huge emotional outlet. Every tear cried on stage that night was Kurt's own tears and every note sung was a witness of his love for Blaine. Nothing else existed in his being at this point, because this was who he was; performer, writer, singer, son, friend … and in love.

Nothing more - nothing less.

A standing ovation showered the cast when the last song was sung and they all joined hands and walked to the edge of the stage to take a bow.

Kurt's eyes swept over the audience, lingering every time he found a familiar face. His dad was all teary eyed and Carol had to hand him a tissue as she waved to Kurt. Finn, next to them, was one big, huge smile, clapping vigorously. Cooper was practically jumping up and down in the front row, probably cheering the loudest.

Kurt's eyes moved on until he found Santana. She tried to control her expression but gave up when Kurt winked at her; and to his surprise she blew him a kiss. They had been places - he and Santana - these few weeks and the gesture sanctioned the depth of their friendship.

Behind Santana, Rachel caught his eyes, looking insanely proud. She put a hand to her heart and mouthed a I love you.

Finally his eyes met Blaine's and stayed there.

Blaine bit his bottom lip, fighting back tears until a smile broke through and he just laughed. Kurt laughed back at him, feeling the hope soaring up under the roof in the theater before it settled down between them across the distance.

Now Michael jumped up on stage and grabbed a microphone as the applause faded and all attention was directed towards him.

"Tonight is a very special night for the "Pantheon Theater Group"," he started. "To pick up "A Song For Cordelia" was a leap of faith for us. It's always a gambling game to fall in love with a debut play, and to tell you the truth the ink on the script was barely dry when we started rehearsals four weeks ago." People laughed muffled around them and Kurt nodded to confirm.

"But a leap of faith guided three extremely talented people our way," Michael continued. "Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson and Ally Cole."

Once again the applause rose to the sealing. "Ally and Blaine, why don't you join us up here on stage," Michael said and waved them along.

Blaine and Ally got up, holding each other's hands as they entered the stage and walked up next to Kurt. The three friends looked at each other and fell into a group hug for a few stolen seconds before they turned around and faced Michael again.

"I think I can say on behalf of the entire cast and crew that we think the world of you as a team and as artists," Michael said and smiled at them. "And it would be an honor if we ever got to work with you again."

A girl from the crew now entered the stage with three beautiful bouquet of flowers and handed them each one. After the applause settled again, Michael continued.

"Ally, thank you for creating all these fantastic costumes," he said. "You've managed to create a world of it's own, recognizable and yet so completely new in a fantasy world we will never leave behind."

Michael moved on to Blaine. "Blaine, the songs you have composed to this play bare witness of skills only few can master. You know this musical by heart and every line and every note are closely connected to characters you clearly love. For four weeks I have had one of your songs in my head, when I fell asleep at night, and they will stay with me forever, Blaine."

Kurt was about to burst at this point, he couldn't have said it better himself, and Blaine's flustered gestures and blushing cheeks almost broke him down on the spot.

"Kurt," Michael said, and pulled Kurt's feet back on the ground, "your story is amazing, and I cannot thank you enough for writing it and for trusting us with it. Your star will shine for a long time and we are honored to have been a part of the beginning."

Kurt gave Michael a hug, truly moved by all the beautiful words. Then he was given the microphone and everybody got quiet again.

"I promise this won't be long," he stated with a shaky voice. "There will be time for speeches at the after party, but a few words needs to be said before this opening night can come to an end." His heart was beating fiercely now but this was important. "This has been an incredible journey for me of ups and downs and of faith and doubts, but I would have given up a long time ago if it hadn't been for Blaine and Ally." Kurt cleared his voice and looked at his two friends. "And now I'm getting emotional, but this is a night fit for big feelings so bare with me." He licked his lips and narrowed in on the radiant hazel eyes, showing nothing but love and understanding. "Blaine, without you, there wouldn't have been a Cordelia. She came to my imagination first, but you gave her a heart and a voice and for that I will be forever grateful."

Blaine blushed and looked down before he met Kurt's stare again. Kurt blinked and moved on to Ally. "Ally, you are my partner in crime and without you there wouldn't be a Morigan and The Evil Four would have been reduced to blurry characters in the evil world. I love you, silly, colorful girl." Ally beamed and stood on her toes so she could give Kurt a kiss on the cheek."

With the final applause rising Michael closed off the night and announced that the play would run for the three following weeks.

The minute curtains had been closed everybody on stage started hugging each other and celebrating that opening night had been everything they hoped for.

In the commotion Blaine and Kurt got separated. So many people wanted to talk to them and when their families and friends joined the backstage nothing more than stolen glances and shy smiles was granted.

But Kurt felt Blaine like a radiant wave pulling him closer constantly. He sensed Blaine's eyes following him like prickling heat underneath his skin and he reveled in the attention.

Something was going on.

When Kurt finally had fought his way to get closer to Blaine, Blaine was picked up by Cooper, who wanted to give him a ride to the afterparty. Blaine turned around and captured Kurt's eyes as a mild expression spread on his face. "I have to go with Coops now," he said softly and stepped closer. "But I'll see you there, right?"

Kurt had to pick up his jaw from the floor. Blaine was clearly flirting right now, because he would have to know how irresistible he looked. "Sure," he stuttered and swallowed. "I'll definitely be there."

"Great," Blaine said and let his warm eyes drop down to Kurt's lips before they found their way back again. Then he walked backwards keeping eye contact until he turned around and followed Cooper.

Kurt whimpered and bit his lip. Blaine wanted to kiss him, that much was carved into stone at this point. Why couldn't they have just two minutes alone? Didn't people understand they needed some privacy, after party or not?

He turned around annoyed when somebody was tapping his shoulder. Carol tried to juggle four bouquets of flowers at the same time and her face could barely be seen between roses, magnolias and daisies. "Kurt, do you want all of the flowers back at the apartment?" she asked and blew a green straw away from her mouth.

"Um, you and dad can take them all back to the loft then it will look beautiful as long as you're staying, but the bouquet with the yellow and red roses will have go to my place."

Carol smiled knowingly. "Of course. Your dad and I will bring them there right away and then we'll meet up at the bar."

Kurt looked confused. "But who am I driving with? I want to go down there as fast as I can."

"Finn will take you, sweetie."

"Finn," Kurt yelled and turned around looking for his brother. He found him in deep conversation with Rachel and he was not the least guilty about interrupting that. "Finn, when are we going?" he asked impatient.

"Well, don't you kind of need a bath?" Finn asked with his familiar lopsided smile.

"Shit, yes, of course, but I'm done in five minutes, then you better be ready."

"I will be," Finn smirked, "but what's the hurry?"

"Nothing," Kurt snapped. "I just … want to be there, okay?" Then he turned around on his heel and hurried on to one of the backstage showers.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

When he and Finn arrived at "The Theater Bar" in Tribeca that hosted the after party the room was already crowded. Two seats were reserved for them, but it took almost half an hour just to get there because of all the hugs and congrats Kurt was met with along the way. He kept looking for Blaine and when he realized they were finally sitting at the same table at least, he started to relax again. He was placed between Rose and Santana, and a cold beer was waiting for him at the table.

The talk and the laughter caught on right away and for awhile it was enough for Kurt to occasionally lock eyes with Blaine or exchange long, lingering smiles. But every time Kurt tried to get more attention than that, somebody would drag Blaine away or come and talk to him.

As time passed by it became a pattern and Kurt found it kind of ridiculous. If he didn't know better he would suspect their friends for trying to keep him and Blaine apart.

It could have been worrying. Maybe Blaine had bad news and they didn't want Kurt to deal with that on opening night. But Blaine's eyes, always singling Kurt out, and his body, always turned towards Kurt told a completely different story.

Eventually Kurt gave up, he would get to Blaine, or Blaine would get to him one way or another. Their friends thought they were in control, but he would prove them wrong.

By the time the mic was open for speeches there wasn't a moments rest. So many people wanted to voice their appreciation for being a part the play, and a happy, fuzzy feeling wrapped itself around Kurt.

He was in the middle of a conversation with Rose and her boyfriend, when the next in line was taking over. But his eyes snapped to the stage immediately when he heard Blaine's vibrant voice in the speaker.

"Hey guys," Blaine said and smiled a bit shy. "I um … I may not be a familiar face to a lot of you, because I wasn't able to join you during rehearsals. To you I'm probably just the guy that wrote the music. But I hope it's alright I say something too tonight."

Cooper whistled loudly from the back of the room and people started laughing.

"That's my brother, Cooper by the way," Blaine said and nodded with a goofy face.

Kurt smiled insanely wide. Everybody was having a good time, and he finally had an excuse to stare unrestrained at Blaine, being all cute and incredibly handsome up on the small stage.

"There are a lot of people in my life who have been supportive of me and who have helped me getting where I am tonight. And I will only take a few minutes of your time to thank them." Blaine turned a bit and looked at one of the tables at the sides. "Matt and Megan, who are part of my band, have helped me pull through when times were tough. You guys mean the world to me and the way we connect as persons as well as musicians makes our friendship very special. Thank you Matt for finishing my job when I wasn't able to, and Megan thank you for being just what we just needed when the script was being edited. Besides that, you are the Jazz tune to my pop songs, Megan."

People applauded around the room, and the musicians cheered on Matt, who for once didn't know what to do with himself. Megan simply beamed and waved at Blaine.

When everybody was quiet again, Blaine continued. "Then I want to thank my family. My parents can't be here until tomorrow, but I still feel the need to say how grateful I am to have them close to me again. Those of you who know me also know how much that means. Cooper; we're crazy enough to live together, and five years ago I'd never thought we could make it. But this time we have together now, will always be a part of me. Thank you for being the most supportive brother I could ever ask for."

Cooper had the biggest smile pasted on his face by now and Katie, who was standing next to him, put her arm around his waist, looking equally proud.

Kurt could feel he was getting emotional. He knew how much Blaine had needed his family in the past, and this speech witnessed about new beginnings and all the things Blaine had longed for so much.

"Then I would like to thank two people more, that both have had a huge impact on my life. One of them I've only known for about 6 months, and one of them I feel I've known for a lifetime."

Kurt licked his lips and registered how his heart started beating a bit faster by those simple words.

"Ally, to have you in my life, and to work with you is a true privilege." Blaine's warm eyes singled Ally out in the crowd and she simply put a hand to her heart as she listened closely. "You are more than your incredible designs and the flowers in your hair. You see through me, and the fact that you still like what you see speaks volumes about your big heart."

For the first time Kurt forced his eyes away from Blaine and watched Ally, sitting at the table next to him. It was such an accurate descriptions of Ally, because it was the truth. She was one of the most open minded persons he knew.

Ally tilted her head, blew Blaine a kiss and mouthed I love you.

People were getting really quiet now and the atmosphere tensed up somehow. It felt loaded with an anticipation Kurt couldn't place. All attention was aimed at Blaine when a shiver suddenly ran down Kurt's spine.

Blaine closed his eyes for a second and took a deep breath before his golden stare captured Kurt and no one else. "Kurt, with you I don't know if there will ever be a beginning or an end. You are such a big part of me, and I feel incomplete when we're not together."

Kurt registered his heartbeat pounding in his ears as family and friends sitting next to him disintegrated to blurred shadows. He saw nothing but Blaine, standing up on the stage, making himself vulnerable.

"You said at the theater that there would be no Cordelia without my songs. But I want you to know that every song I wrote, I wrote to you. There is not a line in there that's not connected to you somehow; not one single note that doesn't represent you in my conscience."

Kurt chest started heaving and he blinked hard to chase the tears away. Every coherent thought left his head, but his soul seemed to pick up on everything nicely.

"I want to sing a song to you, Kurt. This time it's not one of my own, but it's a song with a history for us, and I hope it contains a part of our future as well. Because every word describes how I feel about you."

Blaine went to the piano and adjusted the mic for what seemed to be an eternity. Once in awhile people turned around to look at Kurt, but in his foggy state of mind he couldn't care less. Blaine was about to sing a song to him and his heart was threatening to beat right out of his chest.

From the first chords flowing from the piano Kurt recognized the song and a little sigh escaped his lips. Leave it to Blaine to pick something from Moulin Rouge without going the obvious way between them.

 

It's a little bit funny this feeling inside

I'm not one of those who can easily hide

I don't have much money but if I did

I'd buy a big house where we both could live

 

If I was a sculptor, but then again, no

Or a man who makes potions in a traveling show

I know it's not much but it's the best I can do

My gift is my song and this one's for you

 

And you can tell everybody this is your song

It may be quite simple but now that it's done

I hope you don't mind

I hope you don't mind that I put down in words

How wonderful life is while you're in the world

 

Kurt sighed and bit his lip. He was lost, and overwhelmed, and more in love than he'd ever remembered being before. The way Blaine put it all on display, fearlessly and wholeheartedly, ignited life itself in Kurt.

He tried to dry the tears away as they came, but it was getting harder and harder to keep up.

Blaine's soft hazel eyes were locked on his, not wavering for a second.

 

I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss

Well a few of the verses well they've got me quite cross

But the sun's been quite kind while I wrote this song

It's for people like you that keep it turned on

 

So excuse me forgetting but these things I do

You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue

Anyway the thing is what I really mean

Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

 

And you can tell everybody this is your song

It may be quite simple but now that it's done

I hope you don't mind

I hope you don't mind that I put down in words

How wonderful life is while you're in the world

 

I hope you don't mind

I hope you don't mind that I put down in words

How wonderful life is while you're in the world

 

The applause rose to the roof when Blaine had finished the song and everybody was standing as he bowed. In the commotion Kurt slipped outside for a minute. He just needed the fresh air and the privacy to react without hundred eyes following his every move.

The change in the weather was noticeable and a silent spring rain filled the air with promises of a golden summer. Kurt found cover under a small roof right next to the bar and leaned up against the brick wall. He closed his eyes and let the tears run freely, trying to process everything that had happened during this day.

Suddenly the door from the bar burst open and Blaine came out, looking frantically around.

"Kurt," he yelled, "where are you?"

Kurt stepped out of the shadows and into the rain again. "I'm right here, Blaine," he said reassuringly.

Blaine exhaled abruptly, lowering his shoulders. "Thank God, I thought you'd left," he stuttered.

Kurt shook his head and dried one more treaturous tear away with a swipe of his hand. "I'm not going anywhere, Blaine."

The sexual tension between them hit like a wave dragging them along, whether they wanted to or not.

Blaine stepped closer until they stood face to face. "Kurt, I love you," he said with a broken voice, "and I don't know how to live without you. I'm so sorry that I freaked out, and I'm sorry I abandoned you when you needed me the most. I thought it was all about Benjamin, but … the truth is that it never really was."

Kurt blinked a few raindrops away as the words settled deep inside of him and let out a sigh of relief when Blaine skimmed his hands down his arms and captured his fingers. They had been apart for such a long time and his body ached for the touch and closeness.

"I'm crazy about you," Blaine continued and closed his eyes to let the tears stream freely. "I dream about you every night, and when I close my eyes all I see is your smile and the way the corners of your eyes crinkle when you laugh."

Kurt drew small circles on the back of Blaine's hand with his thumbs and bit his lip before he let a laugh of relief slip away. He just wanted to kiss this amazing man standing in front of him. He wanted to hold him and make him feel good in every possible way.

"And I want to be yours," Blaine said with pleading eyes. "I want to be your boyfriend, if you still want me."

Kurt put his hand on Blaine's cheek and let himself get lost in the pull of attraction between them as he followed a raindrop fall playfully on Blaine's soft lips. "Of course I want you," he finally whispered and let his fingers travel to the dark curls breaking free in the rain. "I've always wanted you, Blaine."

Blaine shivered by the touch and with dark eyes he finally captured Kurt's lips and kissed him.

As much as Kurt had anticipated this and longed for it the entire night the sensation still caught him off guard. The taste and the sweetness of Blaine's soft wet lips made his head spin.

They kissed slowly and greedily at the same time, trying to catch up on years of lost passion. Every cell in Kurt's body reacted and he swore the earth underneath his feet was moving with the speed of light.

Familiar and new, longed for and yet so perfect in its timing. Blaine pushed his mouth a bit more open and deepened the kiss as Kurt willingly gave himself over.

"I have been wanting to do this all night," Kurt said, finally breaking the kiss for air and letting their foreheads meet.

"Me too," Blaine sighed and linked his arms around Kurt's waist.

Kurt chuckled. "Then why didn't we? You could have kissed me a thousand times tonight. I would have kissed you right back ever since I saw the bouquet of red and yellow roses."

Blaine looked at him with an expression hard to read. "Because …"

"Because, what?" Kurt asked gentle.

"Because I wanted to do this the right way. I wanted to sing you a song and I wanted this night to be a night to remember. You deserved this to be done the proper way."

Kurt's heart soared by the honest explanation and he had to kiss Blaine again for being absolutely wonderful and considerate. He pressed his lips against the parted lips, allowing himself to get lost once more.

Time became blurred, and surroundings indifferent. Neither of them noticed Cooper's happy face in the window, or how he gave their friends and family thumbs up.

They didn't hear the cheerful atmosphere streaming out from the bar by the outcome of Blaine's declaration of love; and they didn't sense cars honking as they passed by.

Out of breath once more they ended up in a tight embrace. Blaine's fingers still tangled in Kurt's wet hair, and Kurt's hands resting on Blaine's back, fingers spread to touch as much as he could all at once, holding him close.

"It's raining, Kurt," Blaine whispered with a rough voice.

"I know," Kurt answered with a smile. "Don't you just love rain? It's so dramatic and romantic."

Blaine chuckled and leaned his face back to welcome the drops falling from the sky. "Yes, I love rain. It's the best thing I know."

The exposed neck was too much for Kurt to handle and he trailed small, hungry kisses from Blaine's jaw line and down to his collar bone.

"God I missed you, and I missed this," Blaine moaned.

"You're freezing, baby," Kurt suddenly said getting aware of Blaine's shivering state. He tried to rub some warmth into him, but the wet clothes made it all worse.

"Yes I'm freezing," Blaine stuttered, "but I don't really feel like going back in there." He nodded towards the bar.

"Me neither," Kurt said and looked around. "Let's get a cab and go home to my place; if you want to, I mean. You can borrow some clothes and get warmed up. We will text the others on our way. I'm pretty sure they don't expect to see us again right now."

"I'd love to, Kurt," Blaine said and looked cute on purpose. "Let's get out of here."

Two minutes later a cab stopped to pick them up. Their clothes were drenched and water kept dripping from their hair.

"You better get in before you drown," the cab driver yelled through the window. "You can take a couple of blankets from the trunk, then you can keep warm and my seats can survive."

"Thank you," Kurt yelled back with a smile and hurried around to the trunk. They picked up two red blankets and wrapped them around each other before they got into the car from each side and met giggling in the back seat.

"Where to?" the driver asked and looked at them with kind eyes in the mirror.

"Bushwick," Kurt stuttered, "and thank you for picking us up. I was not sure anybody would."

"Bushwick it is, and you're welcome. You honestly looked like you could use the ride. So here we go."

They moved as close to each other as they possibly could, and Kurt wrapped his arm around Blaine's shoulders, still trying to rub some heat into him. Without a word Blaine turned his head to Kurt and kissed him one more time. Kurt smiled into the kiss and refused to close his eyes through this one. Their cold hands found each other underneath the warm blanket and Kurt laced their fingers together.

"So tell me, all this stuff about you not coming to the opening night, was it just a scam?" Kurt asked. He tried to be stern but ended up giddy and adoring instead.

"Yes," Blaine admitted. "I wouldn't miss opening night for anything, Kurt, just like I said. But I wanted to surprise you, and I wanted it to be special, and … more than anything I wanted to burn all the bridges behind me so I couldn't run away again."

"Did you want to run away?" The question was gentle and asked out of love, more than out of concern.

"No," Blaine answered and held tight onto Kurt. "I was terrified that you might turn me down, but I had no second thoughts. And when I saw you again I just knew that it was the right way for me to do it. I wanted to make it up to you."

Kurt caressed Blaine's hands under the blanket. "You don't have to make things up to me, Blaine," he said careful. "I was the one being in a relationship and still making a move on you, and that was not fair to any of us. I just … it was so, so hard not to do it and you were so close and you smelled incredible. You have no idea what that does to me. I never wanted to let you go on that dance floor." Kurt sighed, feeling so relieved to finally voice these things he had struggled with for a long time. "Can you forgive me for acting really selfish?"

"Of course," Blaine breathed out. Then he looked down. "Can you forgive me for running away, when I should have stayed and talked to you about it?" he asked.

"Yes I can," Kurt said without hesitation and captured Blaine's eyes again. "It's not hard at all."

Blaine put his head on Kurt's shoulder with a content sigh.

"I need to know one more thing though," Kurt said amused. "How many people knew what you were going to do tonight?"

Blaine lifted his head slowly again. "Oh, yes … about that." He made a funny face and managed to look remorseful and cute at the same time. "That part maybe got a bit out of hand."

"I want names!"

"Okay, okay … um, Cooper, Matt, Megan, Ally, Santana and Rose. And they might accidentally have told some more people about it ... like your dad and Carol and the entire cast and crew." Blaine looked guilty.

"I knew it! Everybody have been acting so weird today, and Cooper even before that."

"What do you mean?" Blaine asked with blushing cheeks.

"What was it about Cooper and all the pictures he took?" Kurt asked with a grin.

"Okay, now I am completely innocent. I swear. I never asked him to take pictures of you. I may have drooled over them ever since and I have them all on my computer, but Cooper started it."

Kurt kissed Blaine again. "You really drooled over them?"

"Mng … you looked gorgeous, what was I supposed to do. It's just not the same kissing a computer screen compared to the real deal."

Kurt chuckled close to Blaine's ear. "God, I love you."

Blaine put his head back on Kurt's shoulder. "I love you too," he whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as it happened to be, I'll be back Sunday.
> 
> Love Melissa


	17. For Cory

Due to the tragic death of Cory Montieth I will not be updating "A Song For Cordelia" today.

This day my song is for Cory.

I will return to schedule on Wednesday.

Love you guys 3


	18. We've Got Tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So with Cory in my heart I'm ready to post the chapter today. Finn will be a part of the sequal to this story. He was always meant to be, but maybe I will spend a little more time on his character as original planned. The sequal will still be about Klaine though.
> 
> This is the chapter where the M-rating kicks in ;-)
> 
> Enjoy.

Outside of Kurt's apartment the cab driver was tipped well for his discretion and for humming along to acceptable pop tunes instead of lifting an eyebrow about two men kissing in the backseat.

This was New York, but still.

Blaine was shaking from the cold by now, and Kurt took his hand and hurried him up the stairs. As soon as they got in, he kicked his shoes off and prompted Blaine to take his wet clothes off in the bathroom. Then he went to his closet and picked out a pair of gray sweatpants, and a blue long sleeved t-shirt with a wide neck. He went to the bathroom and knocked quickly on the door before he opened to give Blaine the dry clothes, together with a big towel.

Blaine was fighting to get his wet t-shirt off and Kurt stopped abruptly by the sight of the exposed skin. Strong abs, broad chest and dark hair making a trail from the belly, disappearing down into the wet pants like a secret forbidden pathway.

"Oh shit," Kurt burst out. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I mean I knocked, but maybe I should have waited until you said I could come in."

Blaine succeeded in pulling the t-shirt over his head. "Relax, Kurt," he said with a smug smile. "It's not like you haven't seen me shirtless before."

"I have, I have," Kurt answered flustered. "But you sure didn't look like that!"

Blaine bit his lip in a headshake. "That's really sweet Kurt. Did you have any clothes I could borrow?"

"Yes, yes, of course," Kurt said embarrassed and handed Blaine the outfit he had grabbed from the closet. "I, um, I'm just going to change too. You can call me if you need anything." Then he closed the door to the bathroom and dropped his head backwards. "Nice job, Hummel, really nice; not losing your cool at all," he mumbled.

"I can still hear you, you know," Blaine chuckled behind the door.

"Shit, yes of course you can. You know I will continue this conversation in my head."

"Okay," Blaine said amused. "I'm going to take my pants off now, Kurt, just so you don't barge in here and accidentally see my hairy legs."

"You're so funny, Anderson," Kurt snorted and jumped around on one leg to take his own pants off. He went for the closet and picked out a warm set of clothes for himself and put it on in a hurry, enjoying the warmth spreading to his cold limbs.

Blaine opened the door and watched him with a cute smile.

Kurt licked his lips and breathed in. "I um … God, it's hot that you're wearing my clothes. It suits you," he managed to say.

"Is the neck supposed to be this wide?" Blaine asked and looked down. His collar bones and the hair on the top of his chest were visible, just the way Kurt preferred it.

"Yes the neck is fine," Kurt remarked innocently and walked over to adjust the shirt a bit. "It's actually a very stylish shirt. I mean not for a night in town, but for a fashionable, comfortable night at home, it's really perfect...," he trailed off.

Blaine's shoulders felt strong underneath his fingers and Kurt's eyes lingered on the beautiful lips.

"Did you give me this shirt to wear on purpose, Kurt," Blaine asked.

"I might have," Kurt answered and leaned in for a kiss.

Blaine met him eagerly and sucked on his lips before a swipe of his tongue made Kurt open even wider. Kurt let his hand rest on Blaine's chest, moving his fingers over the collarbone and down the dip before he continued to the neck and further up into the dark wet curls.

"Your hair is still drenched," he whispered.

"Is it?" Blaine asked and moved on, nuzzling Kurt's neck. "I hadn't noticed."

"Let me dry it," Kurt said and stole another kiss. Then he reached down for the towel he had given Blaine and started drying the soft curls, section by section. With his arms stretched up like that his shirt crawled up, revealing a bit of skin, and soon enough he felt Blaine's hands underneath his shirt, first hesitant but then more confident. His eyes dropped from the dark hair to Blaine's intense stare, reveling in the sexual attraction for a moment.

He wouldn't jump to conclusions and he certainly wouldn't push anything between them on the physical level if Blaine wasn't ready, but he would give anything to lie naked next to Blaine and fall asleep in the crook of his neck by the end of the night.

Kurt dug in for another kiss and dropped the towel behind Blaine's back as he dragged him closer.

Everything felt so right, he couldn't explain it any other way. To kiss Blaine, to touch him and to disappear in his arms, it all felt right.

A moan escaped from the back of his throat during the next kiss. He was getting hard and as much as he wanted to continue this for as long as Blaine would let him, he knew there were things they needed to do first.

He broke the kiss reluctantly and let his head rest against Blaine's. "We should talk, Blaine," he said with a rough voice. "I think it would be really good to talk before we take this any further."

Blaine continued to spread warm kisses along Kurt's jaw line. "I agree," he stuttered, "it would probably be a really good idea … to talk."

"Mgn," Kurt managed to say as his hands found their way down to Blaine's ass.

Blaine shivered. "Kurt, I'm so turned on right now."

"Me too." Kurt closed his eyes and willed his hands to let go of Blaine again.

Blaine laughed. "Okay, let's cool off." He looked at Kurt with warm cheeks and red lips. "But I don't know for how long I can keep my hands off of you."

"It doesn't have to be long," Kurt promised. "Let's just sit down. I'll make us a cup of hot chocolate and then we'll be fine. We'll just talk for awhile and then I'm going to kiss you again - a lot."

Blaine smiled and cupped Kurt's cheek. "I really do love you."

"Thank you," Kurt mouthed, reminding himself not to get lost again.

Then he went straight for the kitchen and started heating up some milk as he hummed bits and pieces of "Your Song".

Blaine sat on the couch, wrapped in a blanket and smiled as Kurt approached with two steaming cups of chocolate. They both got comfortable on the couch, and Blaine shared the blanket between them as they faced each other and tangled their legs. It was nice to feel warm again and for a moment they just looked at each other and drank the hot drink.

Then Blaine suddenly frowned and put his cup down on the coffee table.

"What?" Kurt asked suspiciously.

"You have to sit very still," Blaine said seriously, and then he leaned closer and kissed Kurt passionately.

Kurt gave in.

It was a lost cause anyway.

"What was that about?" Kurt asked dizzy when Blaine pulled away again.

"You just had some … hot chocolate on you lips." Blaine said solemnly. "So I wanted to help you out."

Kurt narrowed in on Blaine over the rim of his cup and fought back a giddy smile. "You can't be trusted, can you?"

"Nooo," Blaine mouthed quietly and winked.

Kurt nursed the warm cup in his hands. "Thanks for singing for me today."

"I'll sing for you anytime you want me to."

"I know."

Blaine cleared his throat and put down his empty cup. "Okay, can I go first?"

"Of course," Kurt said softly.

"Kurt, when we met at the coffee shop here in New York I really thought I could handle our friendship. I thought that everything would be alright, and I was kind of relieved that you were engaged, because it helped me keeping things uncomplicated. The prospect of working with you and have you back in my life to some extent was more than I had ever hoped for. It was never a part of the plan to fall in love with you again ... but I did.

First, when you showed up at the concert at the Cavazz to calm me down, and then again on the night you handed me my own script and showed me Cordelia's dress."

Blaine paused and Kurt encouraged him with gentle strokes on his legs underneath the blanket.

"I tried to handle it the best way I could," Blaine continued after a while, "and it was alright, because I didn't think you felt the same way about me; until Cooper told me you probably did. Then I started feeling guilty, and I kept thinking that if we had never met again, then you probably would have married Benjamin and lived happily ever after for all I knew. I thought that maybe what we felt for each other was only a spark in the heat of the moment, because things were getting really intense." Blaine reached out for Kurt's hand and rubbed his knuckles gently. "That's why I freaked out that night, when you told me you would break up with Benjamin. It was getting over my head. I went home and didn't talk to anybody for three days, until Sam showed up and shook some sense into me."

"What did he say?" Kurt asked as he heart ached for Blaine.

"Well, we spent a day together and talked about everything, and he made me realize that maybe Benjamin wasn't my problem after all. That maybe he was my excuse for not facing what I was really worried about."

"And what was that?"

"I was scared of letting you down, and scared of losing you again, or not being able to give you what you really needed. I was scared of failing, and hurting you."

Kurt put a hand on Blaine's cheek and rubbed his temple with his thumb. "We're not going to fail, Blaine," he stated mildly. "This time we're going to fight for us and make it work no matter how hard it will be. You're not alone in this."

"I know," Blaine said gratefully and leaned into the touch, "and that's what hit me when I looked at all the pictures Cooper had shot. I suddenly knew I was willing to give it my all. And, Kurt, I cannot offer you anything perfect. I'm just me, with all my issues about my dad, and my never ending need to be reassured of your love. But this is who I am, and this is what I can give you."

Kurt blinked a tear away. "That's all I've ever wanted, Blaine. I don't want to turn back to what we had before, this is more real, and we are so much stronger. Nobody knows me the way you do, and when you stood up against me about Cordelia's song, I suddenly trusted you to be there for me, even when I was being unreasonable and tired. You called me out on things the way they were."

"So you're saying you fell in love with me when I yelled at you?" Blaine said puzzled.

"No," Kurt answered gently. "I fell in love with you in the theater, watching Wicked. I could have looked at you all night. You were so beautiful and you lived so much in the moment that I just wanted to hold your hand forever."

"I'll never forget that night either."

Kurt could tell Blaine wasn't finished yet, and he waited patiently as Blaine built up the courage once more.

"I need to hear about Benjamin," he finally said. The hurt in his eyes were visible between the lashes, and Kurt knew this was difficult for him. "I need to know why you accepted his proposal if you weren't completely sure of your true feelings for him."

"Of course," Kurt whispered. "And I should have told you a long time ago." He took a moment to get started the right way. "I … met Benjamin when I'd been living in New York for two years. I was very disillusioned at the time. I had fought so hard to get over you, NYADA wasn't what I had expected and Rachel was on a roll; which I really thought was great for her, but it was still kind of hard to witness from the sidelines. I had dated a couple of guys here in New York, but none of them had felt right, you know.

Then I met Benjamin and he swept me off of my feet when I needed it the most. He was handsome, and charming, very generous, and he was crazy about me. He constantly surprised me with gifts and flowers, and I just reveled in the attention. It was like offering water to a man wandering around in the desert.

So we started dating … and later we became boyfriends. And I liked him, I really did. I started spending more and more time in his penthouse, and he asked me a couple of times if I wanted to move in with him, but I was never in a hurry. I appreciated things the way they were.

When I decided to keep the loft as an office, and insisted on renting this place we had our first big fight. He didn't see the point in paying rent two places, but I knew I needed a place that was mine. I guess that should have made me wonder about our relationship, or at least my commitment to it. But for some reason I just didn't question it.

As time passed by our differences showed more and more. I sometimes needed him to support me in other ways than buying expensive gifts. I needed his time and his attention for what I was doing; and his respect for what I was passionate about. Still I kept shrugging it off.

You can't have everything, right?

I was taken aback when he proposed, and I hadn't seen it coming, so I was completely unprepared. I didn't accept right away, which hurt him a great deal, but I needed the time. After a couple of days I told myself that maybe this was life's offer to me, nothing more, nothing less; and that all my teenage dreams, had been nothing but that, just dreams.

So I accepted." Kurt wasn't proud of this part of the story, but he had finally come to terms with it. He had done what had seemed to be the right thing at the time.

"Then you stumbled into my life again," he continued and couldn't keep a smile off of his face, "in a way I had never anticipated. And you reminded me of how strong love can be, and how right it's supposed to feel. You were this flashlight, showing me how much I was settling for, because I had stopped dreaming of bigger things."

Blaine nodded slowly in what Kurt hoped was understanding. "Was it a bad break up?" he then asked carefully.

"It was hard," Kurt stated quiet. "I crushed a man's dream of a wedding waiting just around the corner, but the truth is that Benjamin was settling too. I was no more right for him than he was for me. We talked for half the night and made some kind of peace with each other."

Blaine relaxed visibly by those liberating words, as if the last rest of guilt left him for real, and pure adoration showed instead. "I love you, Kurt, more than you can imagine," he then said and let a finger push away a lock of hair from Kurt's forehead.

Kurt shivered by the touch as the energy shifting between them again within a second.

Blaine leaned closer, reaching slowly and teasingly into Kurt's pocket and dragged out his phone.

"You've already got my number, baby," Kurt whispered, slightly distracted by Blaine lips being so close again.

"I have other plans," Blaine uttered before he leaned back again and started searching for something on the display. He hummed when he apparently found what he'd been looking for and soon the soft jazzy voice of Etta James filled the space between them, singing "At Last".

Kurt raised an eyebrow when Blaine got up and reached out a hand. "I believe I owe you a dance," he said with a subtle wink.

Kurt let it all sink in; the music, the atmosphere, the arousal that constantly stirred somewhere low in his stomach and then he grabbed Blaine's hand. "Yes, I believe you do, thank you very much."

Blaine led him to the "dance floor", that happened to be between the couch and the bedroom because it was the most spacious place in the apartment. With an arm sliding around Kurt's waist Blaine clasped their hands together, and Kurt draped his arm around Blaine's neck, pressing his cheek close to Blaine's ear, just resting there. He closed his eyes and inhaled the smell of the man in his arms.

They started to sway slowly to the music, feeling the pressure of the length of each other's bodies, soft and strong all at once.

"I wanted to kiss you that night," Blaine confessed and intertwined their fingers. "I was crazy about the way you moved, and your smile and the clothes you wore."

"And I would have kissed you back," Kurt replied, still remembering how his knees had turn to jelly the last time they had danced.

"I know," Blaine said and let his hand travel up on Kurt's back. "That's why I didn't dare to do it. But I'm not afraid to do it now."

Kurt narrowed in on the soft lips, slightly parted. "You can, you know, whenever you want to."

Blaine closed the gap between them and kissed softly and teasingly, leaving Kurt breathless. But instead of taking it any further he broke the kiss gently, leaned closer to Kurt's ear and started singing along.

At last, my love has come along

My lonely days are over

And life is like a song

Oh, yeah, at last

The skies above are blue

My heart was wrapped up in clovers

The night I looked at you

I found a dream that I could speak to

A dream that I can call my own

I found a thrill to rest my cheek to

A thrill that I have never known

Oh, yeah when you smile, you smile

Oh, and then the spell was cast

And here we are in heaven

For you are mine

At last

Blaine's soft voice vibrated through Kurt's body and the lyrics settled right underneath his skin. "You sure know how to seduce a man," he mumbled.

"So are you … seduced?" Blaine asked mildly.

"Yes I am … you can have your way with me tonight, Mr. Anderson."

Blaine bit his lip and blushed, which made Kurt chuckle, until he was taken by surprise in a twirl and a dip. Kurt clutched Blaine's shirt in his hand and held on with a pleased expression.

"Well you better trust me then," Blaine said satisfied and pulled Kurt up again in his strong arms.

"I do trust you," Kurt said and relaxed.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Blaine captured Kurt's mouth once more and inhaled by the contact. The intensity tipped Kurt over and the need to be touched and to touch, settled in his pants. He opened his mouth wider and sucked deeper. Blaine reacted immediately and pulled Kurt closer by the hip, pressing their erections against each other. Losing touch of time he let Blaine's teeth and lips mark him down the neck.

They still swayed slowly to the jazz classics continuing in the background while hands got bolder, more possessive and eyes turned darker. They tucked the shirts off of each other, only breaking kisses when they wanted to see more.

Kurt rediscovered how his moans turned Blaine on the same way the sight of Blaine's heaving naked chest enhanced his erection still pressing against Blaine.

"You are so so beautiful, Kurt." Blaine whispered and skimmed his warm hands down Kurt's sides until he reached the band of his pants. He gently pushed the pants a few inches lower, just enough to reveal Kurt's hip bones and the top of his ass, and with feather light touches he caressed the skin just above the visible outline of the bulge in Kurt's pants.

Kurt was falling apart and his kisses got sloppy and suggestive. His entire body was reduced to nothing but sensitive spots, craving to be touched.

"I've got to have more of you, baby," Kurt said with a rough voice he hardly recognized as his own.

"Just tell me what you need," Blaine replied in a shiver.

Kurt captured the beautiful eyes and held the contact. "Make love to me, Blaine … please," he sighed, still letting his hands travel everywhere.

Blaine's breath hitched before he buried his hands in Kurt's brown hair and kissed him gently. "Of course," he then whispered with a shaky voice, "of course, love."

With his legs wrapped around Blaine's waist Kurt was lifted from the floor and carried into bed. Arms strong enough to protect him put him down gently on the sheets and Blaine pushed his arms upwards before he straddled him and put his mouth back on Kurt's lips.

Every move felt so good as Blaine trailed his fingers down Kurt's chest, mapping out curves and planes of his muscles, working his way down to his pants. Painfully slow he kept pushing them lower, kissing whatever new skin was revealed. Kurt held on to the white bars of the bed above his head, trying so hard to not push his hips forward. He wanted to stay in this abyss of need, but when Blaine finally pulled the pants past his throbbing cock he involuntarily jerked upwards.

Blaine exhaled by the sight, looking at him with more love and arousal than Kurt had ever seen.

"You're so beautiful, Kurt," he repeated and let his hands run down the length of Kurt's body, before he caressed the leaking cock that searched for friction.

"I think I need to cool down for a minute," Blaine said with a shiver, "or else I'm not going to last. You feel way too good to me."

Kurt nodded slightly and pulled Blaine down on top of him before he wrapped his arms and legs around him. "My body wants to get there so bad," he whispered in Blaine's ear, "but my mind wants this to never end."

"We're forgetting we can do this more than once," Blaine stated amused and nuzzled their noses.

"We are so going to do this more than once," Kurt chuckled and moved his hands down to Blaine's ass before he snuck them underneath the fabric. Blaine hummed in pleasure and grinded lightly.

Then Kurt captured his eyes. "Blaine, you're not wearing any underwear. I gave you a brand new pair."

Blaine looked sheepishly back "I must … have forgotten," he answered, "I was so busy getting dressed because someone kept barging into the bathroom and I didn't want that someone to be more embarrassed than he already was."

Kurt pulled Blaine's pants down in one swift movement. "You can't be trusted, can you," he asked teasingly.

"Oh, okay, okay, shit Kurt." Blaine gasped as their cocks touched. "This is not cooling down at all."

Kurt smiled into a kiss and rolled them over until they were lying on their sides facing each other. Blaine kicked his pant off entirely and with one leg wrapped over Kurt's hip he moved as close as he could.

They locked eyes, breathing the same air, drowning in the intense contact. Kurt reveled in the pleasure of Blaine's hands travelling around on his back and down to his ass. They willed the pace down before the tension built up again, tucking them along.

"I cannot believe I get to be this close to you again," Blaine whispered. "I feel like the luckiest man alive."

Kurt pressed his mouth to the tender spot beneath Blaine's ear and guided him a bit further as he gently stroked his cock, letting him know that he was ready.

Blaine's eyes shuttered and his hands flexed on the small of Kurt's back, possessive and happy. Their bodies moved perfectly together and Blaine's eyes flicked right back to Kurt's as he rolled his hips upwards.

"I've got you, baby," Kurt whispered and rolled on top of Blaine, pressing him against the mattress.

Blaine's eyes were burning in the dimmed light as he pushed Kurt's legs on each side of his hip. Then he caressed his ass, slowly spreading the cheeks without touching yet. Kurt whimpered and exhaled slowly. "You're driving me crazy here," he stuttered.

Blaine kept closing in. "I need something on my finger's or else it's going to hurt," he replied gently.

Kurt kissed him greedy and reached out for something under a pillow and pulled out a bottle of lube. Resting on one elbow he covered Blaine's fingers in the cold gel, one by one. Blaine's cock twitched between Kurt's legs and his eyes turned big and dark. Then he slowly let his fingers run down Kurt's crack circling around the entrance before he gently pushed inside.

Kurt clutched the sheet on each side of Blaine's head and closed his eyes. The pleasure hit him in waves and he had to concentrate not to come right there.

With his mouth close to Kurt's ear, Blaine whispered: "Let me see you, baby, you so beautiful like this."

Kurt willed his eyes open again and bit his lip not to moan out loud. He locked eyes with Blaine as more fingers were being pushed in and out, never forced, always sensitive to the pace of the stretch.

He felt dizzy with Blaine, drunk with him, desperate for him; somewhat unglued and put together completely at the same time. "I love you, Blaine, I just love you so so much," he said never losing eye contact as he pushed himself back down on Blaine's fingers.

"I need to be inside of you, baby," Blaine said with a shaky voice. "Can I please be inside of you?"

Kurt shivered by the request and nodded, not sure if his voice would work anyway.

Blaine rolled them over once more and kissed Kurt again and again as he placed himself between Kurt's legs, reducing him to whimper and need only. Kurt wanted this more than air and he gently guided Blaine closer. He felt fragile and fiercely protective about this man who wanted him so badly. He tried to relax as Blaine pushed inside, but his orgasm was so close that he had to ask for a minute.

Blaine peppered his face with kisses and sweet words as he tried to hold still. "You feel so good, Kurt. So beautiful and perfect in every way."

Kurt exhaled and guided Blaine deeper inside, reaching for his lips again. "I'm so close," he whispered, "but I don't want it to end.

They took one more moment, drowning in the presence of the love between them before Blaine started to move again. First gently and slowly, then faster as Kurt guided him, panting, just about to lose control.

For Kurt, the moment right before an orgasm hits, was precious and special. Where the world ceases to exist and the wonder of loving and being loved in return, expanded his heart until it couldn't be contained anymore.

Then his body seized in warning, and clutching at Blaine's shoulder, a long cry of pleasure left his throat. And with Blaine following, buried deep inside of him and Kurt's name on his lips, he let the orgasm rush out of him, hard and fast.

They clung to each other, warm and sweating, rocking back and forth, climbing down the high, together, always together.

"Kurt, beautiful, beautiful, Kurt," Blaine whispered as something wet met Kurt's face.

"Are you crying, baby?" Kurt asked softly.

"No," Blaine answered and rolled down from Kurt, still keeping him as close as possible. Then he dried the tears away from both of their cheeks. "Or … I mean yes, but these are not sad tears, it's just … nobody can make me feel loved the way you do; both then and now. And I mean it. I've never felt this way about anybody else, and it's just overwhelming."

Kurt brushed the damp dark curls away from Blaine's forehead, feeling ridiculously happy. "You do know that I feel the same way, right?"

Blaine licked his lips and with drowsy eyes he dragged Kurt even closer. "Yes, I know that, and it's all I need, Kurt, ever."

Kurt shivered, he was getting cold again and with a content sigh he pulled the duvet over both of them, feeling nicely wrung out and attended to.

This is what happiness is supposed to feel like, he thought and nuzzled against Blaine's neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked this chapter.
> 
> I will be back Sunday with the last one.
> 
> As always - reviews are so nice to get ;-)
> 
> Love Melissa


	19. With A Heart Wide Open

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for now the journey ends here with the final chapter of A Song For Cordelia.
> 
> I am going into a "writer hiatus" to make the sequal. As I've done this time I will finish the story before I start to post, in order to post twice a week. I know where I want to go with the sequal, but you guys are welcome to post me ideas and plots. It's always nice to get inspired!
> 
> I want to thank two women who have helped me and rooted for me both in life and when it comes to my writing - Christina and Lynne. They are a huge part of this story.
> 
> For this chapter I can only say - fluffy de fluff and happy endings ;-)
> 
> Enjoy!

The first time Blaine woke up he curled back around Kurt, spooning him and wrapping his arm around the relaxed body until he could feel Kurt's heart beat in the palm of his hand. In his sleep Kurt intertwined their fingers and sighed in contentment. Blaine smiled into his pillow, lazy and ridiculously happy.

The second time he woke up, a pair of baby blue eyes looked at him, with love showing in every shade.

"It's not fair to look at a man in his sleep," Blaine mumbled with a funny face and covered his head with a pillow.

Kurt hummed and peeked in. "You just looked so peaceful and beautiful that I couldn't help myself."

Blaine dragged Kurt into his arms and let the happiness seep from his heart to the rest of his body. Last night had been so emotional and intense and the memory of Kurt's body underneath him, seizing and receiving, was imprinted in him like a lasting memory. Kurt was crazy about him and that thought alone made him feel like conqueror of the world.

His skin turned sensitive to Kurt's soft hands, caressing him lazily.

"Did you sleep well?" Kurt asked and tangled their legs together.

"I slept like a baby," Blaine answered truthfully. "I seriously haven't slept this good for a very long time."

"It's amazing, right," Kurt said as the corners of his mouth lifted into a smile. "I love sleeping next to you. I don't know … it's just like the safest feeling in the world."

"I love you, Kurt," Blaine mumbled, knowing exactly what Kurt meant.

"I love you too."

Lying in silence, enjoying Kurt's hands on his body, the last six months slowly reappeared in Blaine's mind, picture by picture.

He still clearly remembered the sound of Kurt's voice when he called the first time in New York. Maybe it wasn't the sound so much, but the way it had made him feel and how immediate his body had responded.

Then came their first meeting at the coffee shop. Every little detail about the clothes Kurt had worn and the way he smelled was right there in his conscious when he closed his eyes. He remembered the gig at The Cavazz and how he had sung his heart out because someone very special to him had been in the audience; someone he never thought he was going to have in his life again, ever.

The fight about Cordelia's song was represented too, but not as a bad memory even though he had been disheartened at the time. Because somehow it had been the beginning of something more truthful and right between them.

Blaine trailed his hand down Kurt's back and found shivering dips and curves.

Then there had been Wicked; always to be remembered for its magic and the way Kurt's hand had felt in his. With a beating heart he had given in that night and recognized something in Kurt's eyes too, even though he had pretended it was not there.

Boot camp was the first time he knew he wanted to kiss Kurt and the first time he realized how badly he wanted to wake up next to him, like they almost did on the couch.

Kurt's hand moved playfully on his ass now and a familiar coil in the pit of his stomach convinced his morning erection to stay alive.

Hopeful as always.

He tensed up by the touch and Kurt responded right away, obviously taking it as encouragement, as he gently, but determined pushed Blaine to lie on his back. Blaine locked eyes with endless blue and whimpered when Kurt touched his dick.

"I like you this," Kurt said with a subtle smile.

"Like what?" Blaine asked and concentrated on controlling the urge to move in Kurt's hand.

"Naked and turned on."

Blaine didn't get it.

How could he go from a chain of serious thoughts about how he met Kurt the second time, to this hot mess.

Kurt put his mouth on Blaine's body, still touching and teasing the full blown erection, and when the wet heat from Kurt's eager mouth circled around a nipple the first real moan escaped.

Blaine's heart was beating right out of his chest. "You're asking for trouble, baby," he whispered with a rough voice.

"I want to be in trouble," Kurt replied with dark eyes.

Then Blaine let go.

He let himself drown in the sensation of Kurt's mouth all over him and grabbed the sheets to stay grounded when Kurt took him in his mouth.

It was different from yesterday; it was more daring and raw, exploring and discovering familiar things, and things brand new and exciting. Having sex with Kurt was more of everything compared to any other sexual encounter Blaine had had through the last years. It was more powerful, more breathtaking, it was trust as well as a matter of wanting to give pleasure and receive pleasure.

Blaine came hard and fast and on his high he realized Kurt had come too, even though he had barely touched him.

When they collapsed on the bed, Blaine couldn't hold back a huge grin on his face. "God, you're hot, Kurt. Can we just do this for the rest of the day?"

Kurt tipped his head to rest against Blaine's shoulder, trying to catch his breath. "I would love to, but I kind of have an audience for a certain musical waiting for me tonight."

"Minor detail," Blaine stated and nuzzled Kurt's neck. He smelled of cologne and sex. "You know I'm going to be there every night to watch you," he then said and stroke a finger down Kurt's cheek.

"You are?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world."

Kurt cuddled closer and sighed satisfied. "Next time you're going to be the musical director."

"Ah, so there will be a next time?"

"Of course," Kurt snorted. "What did you think?"

Blaine's phone buzzed with an incoming text before he could tease Kurt about the change of tune.

 

To Blaine from Cooper

Good morning Bee – hope you two lovebirds have been sleeping well *cough*. There is brunch at our place at 12, everybody's coming, and we would LOVE to see you guys too! Don't say no :-D xoxo

 

Kurt read over Blaine's shoulder. "They will never let us hear the end of this," he moaned.

Blaine kissed him again. "I don't want to hear the end of it, so they can just bring it on."

Kurt hid his head in the crook of Blaine's neck and smiled. "I got to eat before 12 though, I'm starving right now. I just don't have anything fancy in the house, so we'll have to go on cereal until then."

Blaine started to move. "Okay, let's hit the shower, gorgeous, and then I'll serve breakfast in bed for you."

_________________________________________________________________________________________

The warm water was a blessing, and even though the shower technically wasn't big enough for two grown men they made it work perfectly. You don't need space when you kiss and soap each other up at the same time.

Blaine left the shower first and told Kurt to relax and soak up for as long as he needed to. Then he dried up and looked for the clothes he had borrowed last night. This time he reluctantly added underwear first though. They didn't have time to fool around anyway. After searching for a while he found a clean sheet and changed the bed.

In the kitchen he put up a tray and found bowls and three different kinds of cereals - all healthy ones of course. In Kurt's fridge he found strawberries and grapes and within a few minutes it was all arranged, looking really delicious. When he carefully pulled two roses out of the bouquet he had given Kurt, a yellow and a red, and placed them on the side of the tray. He was actually proud of himself; cereal or not.

Kurt laughed at the sight when Blaine came bouncing back. He was sitting in the bed again with wet hair and a robe. But when he saw the flowers he melted. "Okay, baby, that is just one of the most romantic things anyone has ever done for me. I mean besides you singing a love song for me in front of a couple of hundred people, of course. Oh and kissing in the rain. That's number one for me."

Blaine put the tray down between them and reached in to kiss Kurt again. "Yes, that was pretty spectacular." he said when they let go again, "kissing in the rain."

They started eating and agreed that it was the best cereal they had ever had.

"What about reviews?" Blaine suddenly asked, "aren't they supposed to be out by now?"

Kurt's spoon stopped mid air. "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, how could I forget about reviews?"

Blaine chuckled and continued to eat.

"I've just lost my appetite," Kurt stated and put his bowl down on the bed stand. "This is too much pressure. What if people hated it, what if the critics think it's rubbish," he panted.

"Why would they hate it?" Blaine asked through a mouthful of cereals. His appetite was back full force, and the reviews weren't going anywhere.

"You never know with people like that," Kurt continued and got up to pace the floor. "Critics can be vicious and completely unreasonable, and if they don't like my voice, my career is screwed. It's a simple as that. Then I will be out of work and not be able to live in New York. I might as well move back to Lima."

"Look, I will try to put aside that you are incredibly cute even when you panicking, and then assure you that everything is going to be fine." Blaine emptied the bowl and got up to drag Kurt in for a hug. "We have done everything we could. We have done our best, and sure, there will always be things to learn and things to do better next time, but I'm proud of what we have created together with Ally. Besides, I've got a good feeling about the reviews."

Kurt didn't look convinced at all.

Blaine gave him a peck on the lips. "Go get your laptop and let's read them together."

"Okay, okay, I can do that," Kurt said, and tried to calm himself down. He strode into the living room, picked up his laptop and placed it carefully on the bed when he came back, as if it was a ticking bomb. "Um, maybe you should read it."

"Sure," Blaine said and got back on the bed to start the computer.

Kurt moved to the opposite end of the bed, making sure he couldn't watch the screen.

"So where do I look?" Blaine asked. "Do we know what kind of papers that will publish reviews?"

"I can't remember," Kurt said and pulled his knees up to his chin, "but if you enter "Broadway . com " they have a section for the off-Broadway productions and they usually post at the same time as the papers."

"Broadway . com ," Blaine said slowly as he typed. He waited for the site to load and then navigated around for a while before he found what he was looking for. "Okay," he said, "here we go."

"Wait, wait," Kurt said with big eyes. "Maybe you could read ahead, just a few lines, and then prepare me if it's bad."

"Fine, if that's what you want," Blaine chuckled. "Are you sure you don't need a cookie to stress-eat as I'm reading?"

"It would take an entire cheesecake to calm me down at this point," Kurt said with blushing cheeks. Then he licked his lips. "Oooh no, I just changed my mind. Don't read ahead, I want to hear it as it is."

Blaine nodded and tried to look serious. "What do I do about the two lines I've already read?"

"You've read two lines?"

"Yes."

"Is it good or bad?"

"It's just two lines, Kurt. I can't tell anything from two lines."

"No, no, you're right. Okay I'm ready, just hit me with it."

"Okay, here comes the first one. It's a guy named Jeffrey Marcs. Do you know anything about him?"

"Yes, well, he is not easy to impress, but he is not too harsh with his words either. It would be a good place to start."

Blaine cleared his throat before reading out loud.

 

"A Song for Cordelia" is a brand new musical created by three debuting artists. Experience has taught me not to expect too much under circumstances like that, even though I put pride in keeping an open mind. The storyline is quite simple and maybe a bit old fashioned for somebody looking for new experimenting musical genres, but the experience overall is anything but traditional.

In a mythical, magical universe, the dots are connected between unsung heroes, broken hearts and love worth sacrificing everything for. What lifts the play above things that's been seen from debutants before, however, are three things:

First of all, a very witty and at times sarcastic dialogue, written by Kurt Hummel. Kurt has a NYADA background and has been seen in smaller parts on the Broadway stage, but he is definitely showing his worth as a writer as well. (Oh did I mention that he has an absolutely divine voice?)

Second of all; costumes that combines a modern expression with the mythical. Costume designer Ally Cole has had a lot of fun mixing different styles; and she proves to be bold enough to go with the unexpected, even in the more traditional gowns. The modern expression pays off particularly well in the evil underworld and emphasizes the grotesque hunger for beauty and vanity amongst The Evil Four.

And third of all; a score that manages to surprise you again and again. Once more it's a bold choice to go with a completely unknown composer, but it pays off all the way through. Blaine Anderson has a master's degree in composing from Northwestern University in Chicago, and right from the first tune in the overture he proves to be an interesting artists. Like his two partners in crime he tend to nurse the unexpected just when you think you have him figured out, and the results are beautiful, funny, catchy songs with an edge of their own.

Kurt Hummel, Ally Cole and Blaine Anderson are names worth remembering, and I'm sure we haven't seen the last production from the talented trio if you ask in the buzzing underworld of the prestigious Broadway.

 

The boys looked at each other for a breathtaking moment before they started to laugh and dance on the bed. The laptop between them was bouncing, tipping close to the edge, but their joy couldn't be contained.

"I cannot believe it," Kurt yelled exhilarated. "That is not just a good review, that's a badass review. I've never in my wildest dreams imagined someone like Jeffrey Marcs would write something like that! It's just like … I don't know what … and now I'm hyperventilating and I need to sit down." He threw himself down on the bed again and laughed out loud.

Blaine crawled on top of him and hovered over the happy boy until he suddenly was pulled down for a kiss.

They were interrupted by Kurt's phone. He reached for it on the dresser without breaking the kiss and then he side eyed the display, still holding Blaine in place. "It's Michael," he said and kissed Blaine one last time. "I better hear what he has to say."

Blaine nodded and rolled off with a happy sigh.

Kurt walked into the living room to take the call, and Blaine decided to check out some more reviews. Most of them were really positive and his music was received well.

Maybe it was time for the band to mix the covers with his original songs, or he could start sending submissions to other performing artists.

One good song was all it would take under the right circumstances and with a decent amount of luck.

Kurt came back behind him. "They are selling tickets like crazy right now, Michael said, and the three weeks will be sold out soon, so now they're trying to extend with two more weeks. Isn't that amazing?"

"We aimed for the roof and now we're reaching for the stars," Blaine said happily.

Kurt sat down on the bed again, pushed the laptop out of the way and reached for Blaine's hands. He rubbed Blaine's knuckles with his thumbs and a more serious expression appeared on his face. "All this, with the play and the reviews and the opportunities, it would never have been the same without you. And I would give it up in a heartbeat if I had to, just to be with you."

The vulnerability and honesty in Kurt's eyes reached Blaine's stomach in seconds.

"This night we have spent together will be something I will remember for the rest of my life," Kurt continued, "and I'll always think about it as a new beginning and a second chance. To love you, and to know that you love me back, is bigger than life to me, and I want you to know that."

"I know all this, Kurt," Blaine said with a shaky voice, "but I will never get tired of hearing it."

Kurt nodded. "Because you need to hear it."

"Yes I do."

"And I want to give that to you. Every day, I want to tell you, that you mean the world to me."

_____________________________________________________________________

It was somewhat a surprise to enter Cooper's apartment, buzzing with life, laughter, and a delicious greasy smell of bacon. So many people were invited and Blaine's heart lept with joy at the sight of each and every one of them: Matt and Megan, Ally and Fred, Burt and Carol, Santana, Rose and … Katie.

Well he had to ask Cooper about Katie.

She had been his brother's date at opening night, but something more than that seemed to have happened by the cute looks they gave each other in the kitchen.

Before they'd had a chance to hug all these special people that meant the world to them, Blaine's parents had walked through the door, making the moment even more perfect than it already was.

Blaine didn't know if it was his dad's beaming smile or his mom, stroking his cheek, but for the first time he felt like they belonged in his life. They were here to see his play, they were here to support him, and to his uttermost surprise they were also here to meet Kurt all over again.

Blaine had told his dad briefly about his heartache and his love for Kurt a couple of weeks ago, but he hadn't realized that his parents had worried about him, hoping that he would get back together with Kurt again.

Some things just need time to grow, but even in his darkest hour he had never imagined his parents talking and laughing with Burt and Carol.

Kurt had been with him the minute all the emotions got the better of him, and they had spent a few moments in Blaine's room to just soak it all in.

Life is hard, and funny, and fragile, and unpredictable, and everything in between.

When they had joined the rest of the company again they gave up on not touching each other or standing a little too close from time to time. They had to endure a fair share of teasing during the brunch, especially about of the kissing in the rain, that for some reason everybody had seen, but they didn't care at all.

After brunch Blaine packed a bag of clothes and some few belongings he could have at Kurt's apartment. At first he was afraid he seemed too presumptuous; he was not moving in after all, but Kurt kissed him breathless and convinced him that it would be really practical if he took a lot of stuff with him.

After dropping everything off at Kurt's apartment they got ready to leave for the theater where Kurt was supposed to be by 3 pm.

Everybody involved in the production needed to evaluate the performance last night, and there were bound to be some minor alterations.

Blaine wanted to be involved as much as he could from now on, even if that just meant bringing everybody coffee.

______________________________________________________________________

After a couple of busy hours at the theater, getting everything in gear again, the audience started filling the seats.

Kurt was all dressed up and the makeup team was done with him. He seemed focused and a bit nervous, but he was ready.

Then somebody knocked on the door and Ally entered. "There's a couple of friends who wanted to say hi," she said and winked to Blaine before she left again.

Blaine's face split into a huge grin. "Kevin, my man," he said and hugged the boy; before he shook hands with Joyce. "I'm so happy you guys are here." Then he noticed a dark haired girl hiding a bit behind Kevin. "You must be Lucy," he said and smiled at the girl. "You look really pretty, girl," he said and winked at Kevin, which made Kevin roll his eyes and Lucy giggle. She looked really sweet and Blaine was happy that Kevin was starting to have friends again. "I hope Michael has gotten you some nice seats," he continued.

Kevin seemed to have lost his tongue for moment, apparently impressed by being backstage at a real theater; or maybe concerned about losing his cool with Lucy being next to him.

Joyce shook her head in amusement. "They have both been counting the hours, Blaine, and we're all so excited to be here. The seats are great."

Blaine smiled and tried to catch the boy's eyes, but he was looking curiously at Kurt instead. "Oh, that's right, I better introduce you guys. This is Kurt Hummel, he has written the script and he plays the main part," Blaine said and skimmed his hands down Kurt's arm. "And Kurt, this is Kevin, Lucy and Joyce. Kevin is one of my best friends and by far my favorite student."

Kurt gave Kevin and Lucy a reassuring smile and reached up for high fives. The children surrendered and their palms met in the air. "Any friends of Blaine's can be friends of mine," Kurt said.

Kevin looked at both Blaine and Kurt with curious big eyes now. "Are you Blaine's boyfriend?" he finally asked Kurt.

Kurt laughed out loud and Blaine ruffled the little boy's hair. Joyce started to apologize right away and reprimanded her son for being too nosy, but Blaine stopped her gently. "Yes, Kurt is my boyfriend," he said and beamed.

This made Kevin smile all over his freckled face. "That's why you smile so much."

Blaine dropped his head and chuckled. "Yes, Kevin, that's probably why. Don't you think he looks cool?"

Kevin nodded eagerly. "Have you ever played a pirate?" he asked and narrowed in on Kurt again.

"I actually have," Kurt answered, "a couple of years ago."

Blaine turned around and looked at him surprised. "You have?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Of course, you happen to be looking at Captain Hook. To tell you the truth I wanted to play Peter Pan, but it turned out that Captain Hook's outfit was much cooler."

In no time Kurt and Blaine had the children laughing and forgetting all about being shy, with stupid pirate lines and an improv dance made specifically for people with wooden legs. Soon the room became even more crowded when Blaine's parents came to say "break a leg" as well.

Once again Blaine was given the chance to connect the dots between important people in his life.

Joyce seemed honestly moved by the encounter with Blaine's parents.

"You must be so proud of your son," she said and looked them in the eyes. "He means the world to my son and he knows about hardship and music."

"We are proud of him," Blaine's mom said and hugged Joyce with a smile.

Blaine caught his father's eyes in that moment and melted when his dad winked and said; "We're very proud of him."

With five minutes to curtain call, Blaine and Kurt were alone in the room again.

"Are you ready?" Blaine asked

Kurt nodded, his blue eyes sparkling.

"Can I do one more thing before you go on stage?" Blaine then asked.

"Of course."

He grabbed Kurt's hand and pulled the sleeve of his wrecked shirt up to his elbow. Then he grabbed a pen and moved close enough to be able to write something on Kurt's arm, still hiding what he wrote. "I know a part of you hates that I drew on you, but just keep it for this one night, and then remember it for the rest of your life."

Kurt kissed Blaine's neck as he was busy writing. "Now you got me really curious," he whispered in Blaine's ear.

Blaine bit his lip, but kept on writing. "No funny business, Hummel, that's for later."

"Do you promise?"

Blaine finished writing and got up and cupped Kurt's cheek. "I promise."

Kurt watched his arm all doodled with four lines, and then he read them out loud.

Even if your hands are shaking

And your faith is broken

Even as your eyes are closing

Do it with your heart wide open

"That's really, really beautiful, Blaine."

Blaine smiled. "To me, this represents everything about us; our past, this very moment, and our future. It's from a song called "Say What You Need To Say" and that's what I promise you; that I will tell you how I feel no matter what, and that's what I hope you will do too."

"Even if my hands are shaking?" Kurt asked gentle.

"Even then, and maybe especially then."

"I promise to keep my heart wide open, Blaine, no matter what, and I will remember these lines. I love you so much."

"I love you too."

They hugged.

One of those hugs that seep into your bones and settles like something solid in your soul.

One of the stage managers knocked on the door. "Two minutes, Kurt."

"Thank you," he yelled back over Blaine's shoulder. They let go of each other and Kurt put his sleeve down again, as Blaine opened the door for him.

They walked together to the side of the stage, Kurt waiting for his cue and Blaine peeking out to see a full packed theater.

He saw his mom and dad sitting with Cooper and Katie to one side and Burt and Carol to the other; and at one of the front rows, he spotted Kevin's and Lucy's excited faces next to Joyce.

Kurt squeezed his hand, stole a kiss, and entered the stage for the second half of the opening number.

Blaine watched him perform with a happy smile on his face and a heart beating with joy.

Ally came up from behind him and snuck her arm around his waist. He kissed her hair and pulled her closer with his arm around her shoulder.

"You know, back in high school, when Kurt was a senior and I was a junior, we both auditioned for West Side Story. He dreamed about being Tony and I was willing to take whatever role they had for me. As we were waiting for the results he met me at a staircase in the schoolyard with a bouquet of yellow and red roses, to celebrate me, because he thought I would be a better Tony than him. Back then he was the one standing at the side of the stage, cheering for me.

Today I'm so happy to be able to return the favor."

"That's really beautiful, Blaine," Ally said and rested her head up against his shoulder.

"I'm so proud of him," Blaine said with a broken voice.

"So am I," Ally replied with a smile, "very proud of him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review - and then take care ;-)
> 
> Love Melissa

**Author's Note:**

> Just getting started - and I hope you have time to review ;-)
> 
> Love Melissa


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